Taken
by BellaLovesEdward729
Summary: Edward and Bella go to tell Charlie about their engagement when something happens that changes everything. Love is tested, friendships are torn, but how can Edward save Bella from someone they all trusted?
1. Prologue

**BPOV**

_Two Months Later - August_

I let the water race down my back as I stared at the tile walls. The water was hot now. Hotter then I've ever had it before, but it didn't matter, nothing mattered anymore. The past two months I had been living in my own personal hell and it seemed heat was all around me.

_Heat_.

I shivered despite the hot water. How I used to love and miss the heat. Now, all it did was brought me pain.

I looked down at my naked body and almost gagged. He was right. Who would want me when I looked like this?

No one.

No one but him.

Bones were clearly visible through my skin with bruises and cuts running up and down my arms and legs. I had been clumsier in the past two months than I had been my entire life. But pain was nothing new to me. I was living in my own personal hell, going through the motions every day just to please him.

I shivered again. How could something like this happen? How could I _let_ something like this happen? Silent tears fell down my face and my mind went through flashes of memories to try and understand it all. I squeezed my eyes shut when I saw a flash of pale white skin.

_No. _I couldn't think of him now. It would only make it worse. But the images continued to come: our meadow, school, his piano, my room.

I brought my hands up to cover my mouth to try and conceal the sob that I couldn't contain. I remembered the last time I saw him, the kiss we shared, though at the time seemed like any normal kiss, now held so much more for me. It was our last kiss. More sobs came that I tried to contain. If he heard me crying it would make things that much worse, because he would know I was crying over of _him_. So, I choked back the tears and the sobs as I let my mind take me into another direction but bringing up those memories only brought up the others; his family, Alice. I missed her so much. She was my best friend. Chills ran down my spine when I thought of that word. Obviously I had taken that word lightly with people. Alice must have been going out of her mind. They all must be, especially him. I couldn't even bring myself to think his name let alone say it. I missed him more than anything on earth. I missed him more now than I did when he left me. And that probably was because now we were separated by force. I prayed he didn't believe the lies that were left when I was taken. That his mind wasn't as gullible as mine once was, and deep down, I knew I was right. He knows my love for him and that was the only thing that was keeping me going.

But what about everyone else? What would everyone say? I covered another sob as I thought about Charlie. He was probably going crazy too, or maybe he believed the lies. I wanted to call him so badly, but I couldn't.

"_They are watching him. I'll know if you try to contact him"_

I wiped the tears and water from my eyes then braced my hands on the tile walls. It was times like these when I was truly confused. Part of my mind was screaming at me for being here, for putting myself in this situation at all, for me to do something about it. But the other part, which sounded an awful lot like his voice, was telling me that this was where I belonged: with him. I would learn to love it. It had only been two months. I should give it more time, because no one was coming for me. No one loved me like he did. As my mind argued back and forth with itself, the scolding hot water turned cold. As soon as it touched my skin it was like a lightening bolt went through me. I couldn't do this anymore. For two months I had been locked here: kept prisoner by someone I cared about. Not allowed to move, and not allowed to think without him right there. He used to keep me alive, but now, he was killing me.

I quickly shut off the water and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around myself as I stepped out of the shower. I crept toward the bathroom door and put my ear to it. I didn't hear a thing. My heart rate started to race. He was still out. I was permitted to be left alone now on account that he knew I understood his threats, and would never put anyone I loved in danger. My feeble attempts to contact my loved ones in the past had gone down in flames. I was no longer allowed near a phone, a piece of paper, a pen, or anything I could write or make contact with. After what happened on my last attempt to contact them, he knows now I'll never do it again. So he can leave. But only for a short while. He couldn't stand to be away from me for that long. He loved me too much.

Another shiver went down my spine as I thought of what his idea of love was. Fear started to sore through my body.

_Stop Bella,_ I told myself.

Bringing those thoughts to the surface would never help me. I had to get this done before I lost the strength to do it, but how?

I was alone, so this was one of the only times Alice could see me. How could I get a message to her? Just talk? What if I didn't have time and she couldn't understand it for some reason? I needed to write it down so that she could see it. I looked around the bathroom frantically, trying to find something to write with. That's when the mirror caught my eye. It was covered in fog. My eyes went wide with the realization that with the fog I could write on the mirror with my finger.

I raced over to the sink and braced my hands on each side of it. I breathed in and out slowly, praying that this would work. Why hadn't I thought of this before? It was so simple. But I had to hurry. I concentrated on her: her short black hair, her tiny frame and her beautiful white skin. I remembered everything about her, hoping it would help with what I was about to do, but mostly I remembered how much I missed her. I hesitated for a second as a fearful thought came to my mind. Would he know I did this? Could there be some way that he could tell? And what would be the punishment for trying this? I bit my bottom lip trying to make the decision. A slight pain went through my lip and I stopped. I had forgotten. And that forgotten memory made up my mind. With one final breath I looked up into the mirror. I lifted my right hand, which was shaking with either fear or excitement: I don't know which.

Slowly, I began to write out largely the letters of her name.

**A-L-I-C-E**

I waited a second after I wrote it then wiped it clean to reveal my own face in the mirror. I took one last deep breath, looked at my own reflection and started to speak.

"Alice, I need your help."


	2. Chapter 1

**BPOV**

_Two Months Earlier - June_

My eyes went wide as a realization hit me: I would have to tell Renee about the engagement. "That's not fair!" The second the words came out of my mouth, I cringed. I sounded like a little girl. I stood up and chased after my father as he laughed his way into the kitchen. "I'm glad you find this amusing Dad, but seriously, can't you tell Renee?"

I heard a soft chuckle from behind me and sent my Fiancé a glare as he leaned against the doorway of the kitchen. "Traitor," I mumbled low enough that Charlie wouldn't hear me though I knew the person it was intended for would. Edward held up his beautiful pale hands in mock surrender and I let out a breath.

"Oh no, you're an adult now Bells. If you think you're adult enough to get married, then you're adult enough to tell your mother" Charlie said as he grabbed a beer from the fridge and leaned against the door. I let out a very unattractive grunt and held back the urge to stomp my foot.

My mother was completely and utterly against an early marriage. And telling her I was marrying Edward at the age of eighteen would most likely make her flip her lid. Then a war would start and it was a whole big mess that I didn't want to have to deal with.

I was about to start my argument again when the phone started to ring. Charlie walked towards the living room to answer, still snickering about his master plan.

"This isn't over!" I warned him as I walked over to Edward.

I let out a sigh and leaned my forehead against his chest, suddenly feeling extremely tired. He placed a soft kiss on the top of my head and wrapped his arms around me. "It'll be ok, love, we'll call her later. And if she really has a problem, just tell her Charlie is ok with it."

I let out another groan and looked up into his beautiful golden eyes. "Oh, I can just see it now. 'Mom not only am I marrying my boyfriend at the age of eighteen, but I told my father before you!' Yeah. That will go over real well!"

Edward let out a slight laugh. I smiled at his smile. It was so beautiful, he was so beautiful and I couldn't believe he loved me. He wanted to spend his life with me. Sometimes I still felt, that any moment I was going to wake up and find it was all a dream.

Edward pushed a piece of hair out of my face and whispered, "That's very frustrating."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Not knowing what you're thinking," he said as he brushed his cold fingers across my cheek. I smiled at him and leaned up to brush my lips against his but stopped when I felt him tense.

"What's the matter?" I asked him but he stood there stone still.

"Bells! Phone!" I heard Charlie call from the other room. My brow creased in confusion and I looked up at Edward as he let me go.

"Who is it?" I asked Edward as I moved towards the living room. He shot his eyes to the ground and that's all it took for me to instantly know who it was.

I hadn't spoken to Jacob since I left La Push after confessing my feelings to him but also admitting that it wasn't enough. I was nervous. What did he want? Was he going to try and continue to fight even though he knew now it was completely hopeless?

I didn't remember moving to the living room, but I was there with Charlie holding the phone out to me. "It's Jacob." I nodded and took the phone out of his hand.

I walked towards the steps and looked up as Edward walked towards me and said, "I'll give you a minute."

I shook my head. "No! This won't take long."

He nodded his head once and stood with his hands clenching at his sides. I took a deep breath, sat down on the bottom of the stairs and beckoned him to sit down with me. He was there before I could blink. I gave him a small smile before bringing the phone up to my ear.

"Jake?"

"Bella! I need you! I need to see you! Talk to you! Now!" He sounded upset, no, he sounded crazy. His breathing was erratic and his voice quivered with every word.

"Wait, Jake, calm down! What's the matter? Talk to me now!"

"No!" he shouted causing me to yank the phone away from my ear. Edward gave me a worried look, but I quickly shook my head and put the phone back to my ear. "Now! I need to see you! I can't talk to you on the phone! Can you meet me? Please?! Please Bella!"

I didn't know what to say, he sounded so lost. I looked over at Edward hoping he would give me the answer I needed. He held my gaze for a half a second before mouthing, "Go."

"Bella!" Jake yelled into the phone causing me to jump.

"Where do you want to meet?" I asked in a whisper as I stood and started to grab my jacket with Edward close behind. Part of me wanted to run and make sure he was ok, the other part of me wanted to hang up the phone and forget about it.

"La Push. Bella, please don't bring him. I can't stand it." Jacob pleaded.

"No!" Edward hissed.

I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "Jake, Edward will bring me to the border like always and he'll pick me up later" I said calmly and watched as Edward visibly relaxed.

"No, Bella! I don't want him here. I don't want to see him. Please." Jake sounded so desperate. He was really starting to scare me.

"Jacob, I'm not having this argument. I'll meet you because I can tell there is something wrong, but Edward WILL be dropping me off."

"Fine!" he all but screamed.

"Just, please Bella, hurry!"

I hung up the phone and yanked my jacket on as I yelled to Charlie I would be back.

"Edward, I'm scared. He sounded so upset! I don't know what's going on!" I cried as we made our way to his car.

"It's going to be ok Bella. I'm sure it'll be all ok"

I didn't answer him. Instead I just stared out the window as we made our way to La Push. I felt so guilty. This had to be killing Edward, especially after I cried over Jacob so much. I took his hand in my own as he continued to drive. I wanted to confess my love to him and explain that this was something I just had to do. I looked over to him and silently begged him to understand. He smiled and kissed the hand he was holding, telling me everything I needed to know. He understood. We sat in silence as we drove and part of me was ok with that. I don't know what I would say if he wanted to talk. I was immensely worried about Jacob and I was hoping this wasn't some plan to guilt trip me into giving him more. It would never happen.

When we pulled up to the border we found Jacob standing in front of his father's pickup pacing back and forth. Edward stopped the car and stared out the window.

"What's he thinking?" I asked, almost scared of the answer.

"He just keeps repeating that he needs you, needs to talk to you, and it will all be okay once you're here." His voice was laced with tension as he answered.

I looked over to him and my heart broke at the pained expression on his face. "Hey, come here." I said softly. He turned towards me and moved closer. Our lips met and in that moment, nothing else mattered. My hands immediately went to his hair, gripping it as his hands cupped my face. Our lips moved together with perfect rhythm and understanding. We were meant for each other. I let out a frustrated moan as he pulled away. I leaned my forehead against his as I struggled to catch my breath.

"He's watching us. It's not helping." I heard Edward whisper.

I had all but forgotten where we were and why. I swallowed hard and nodded as I pulled away and said, "I'll call you as soon as possible."

"I'll be waiting." he whispered.

I gave him one final kiss before getting out of the car.

Before I shut the door I looked back inside and smiled. "I love you."

Edward gave me another one of his breath taking smiles before replying, "I love you." With that, I closed the door and walked over to my best friend.

* * *

**EPOV**

I hated this. As much as I loved her, I hated this. I hated handing her over to that dog, when I knew that the feelings they had for each other were so strong. The feelings that were now present because of my own doing.

My leaving brought them closer together. He kept her alive when I couldn't, which is something I will always be grateful for. So that's why, whenever she wanted, I would take her to him and pick her up when she was done.

The dog looked deranged as he paced back and forth. His thoughts were such a jumbled mess, I had a hard time even beginning to sort through them. It seemed all he wanted was her. This both angered and saddened me. I felt for the boy as if he were someone I cared a great deal for. Someone I tried to care a great deal for, because my Bella did. And as long as she cared about him, I would bring no harm his way.

So I would deliver what he needed. I had a bad feeling about it of course, but I would not tell her that. It would only lead to something unnecessary and unwanted, all because of one lonely human emotion.

Jealousy.

She loved him. Part of my Bella was in love with Jacob, and I couldn't do anything about that. I watched her walk to him and ask what was wrong. I turned the car around when he hugged her. His arms being around her was something I could not deal with. My mind raced with thoughts that were so futile, so human, yet I couldn't help it. Bella brought that out in me.

Even though I knew she loved me, and she was marrying me, I was scared. Scared she would realize that she didn't want this life, that she would realize that she wanted a family and to grow old with someone. I tried to forgo the rest of my thoughts as I drove back to my house. They would only leave me a paranoid mess until she called me to pick her up. I heard the phone start to react before I felt the vibration against my leg. I pulled it out to see I had one new text message.

_**Hey. He wants to go for a ride, not sure where though. He hasn't said what's wrong yet but I wanted to let you know I'm okay. I'll text you as soon and I find out where we are headed. Please don't worry. I love you!**_

If my heart was beating it would have stopped right there. He wants to go for a ride? A ride to where? I didn't like that. Going for a ride was pushing things. If anything happened to her I would kill him myself. I quickly wrote back my response.

_**Bella are you sure that's safe? I'm just worried. Please be careful. I love you.**_

As I turned down the road the sounds of my family started to fill my head. Esme was in her garden while Carlise was in his study, and Rosalie and Emmett were otherwise occupied. It was Alice and Jasper that were worrying me. Alice was pacing back and forth while Jasper was trying to calm her.

_Finally Edward!_

I heard Alice thoughts before I saw her. She was waiting for me outside when I pulled up. I caught a glimpse of her thoughts as she replayed a vision she must have received. It was of me. I was standing outside my car with Alice and Jasper and I was on the phone.

_Odd._

I parked the car quickly and got out. "Alice, what's the..." Before I could answer her my phone started to ring. I grabbed it quickly hoping it was Bella.

_Charlie._

Why was Charlie calling me? I looked over at Alice who had an anxious look on her face.

"Chief Swan?" His thoughts always reacted better when I called him that.

"Edward do you mind telling me what the hell is going on?" He was angry and confused. I could hear him pacing back and forth.

"I don't understand sir." I truly didn't. I looked at Alice for help and she started to breath heavier. Her mind was completely blank.

"I mean, why is it that you and my daughter come here to tell me that you're getting married and then I get a phone call from Billy saying that Jacob left him a note stating that he and Bella were running away together. That they loved each other and it was the only way they could be together. What the hell is going on?"

I gripped the phone.

_No. _

That can't be true. I went over the past hour in my head. There was no sign. I remembered everything. Telling Charlie, our kisses. Her telling me she loved me.

_Bella._

"Edward!" Charlie's shouting brought me out of my thoughts. "Where is my daughter?"

"Chief Swan, I don't know what's going on. Bella just sent me a text saying they were going for a ride. I'll call her and be at your house in five minutes."

Charlie agreed and we hung up the phone.

"Edward! Bella disappeared three minutes ago, then I saw the vision of Charlie calling you. I can't see anything else. It's not true though, I know it's not."

I barely took notice to Alice's speaking as I dialed my love's number.


	3. Chapter 2

**Things I don't own... the real Edward (sadly), or any of the other sexy twilight characters!**

* * *

**BPOV**

I took a deep breath as I walked towards Jacob. He looked just as bad as he had sounded on the phone.

"Jake?" I called out as I got closer. "What's wrong?"

"Bella!" Jake quickly rushed over to me and let out a sigh of relief. He grabbed me and pulled me close into a bone crushing hug.

I thanked to whoever was listening that Edward pulled away before he could see the hug. I didn't want to hurt him anymore than I already knew I had. I knew it killed him to let me come here, but he also knew that it would kill me not to. Jake sounded so hurt and I had to make sure he was alright.

"Jake! Need... oxygen." I had to remind him, plus if he continued to hug like that, I would start to bruise. And I did not want to have to explain that to Edward.

"Bella, we need to leave" Jake said as he moved us closer to the truck. His eyes were huge and his voice was shaky. If he wasn't 108 degrees he probably would have been sweating as well.

"What do you mean leave? Jake, I just got here.. now tell me what's going on!" I insisted as he opened the passenger side door.

"Bella, I just can't... I can't do this. Please, just go for a ride with me. I need you, please." His words worried me. Jake was never this weak.

I started to slowly nod my head. "Ok, we'll go for the drive but not too far, I have to be back."

Jacob squeezed his eyes shut and I flinched as his hand squeezed my arm harder. I let out a hiss of pain and a second later he let go.

"Just get in," he whispered harshly before he turned and walked around to the other side of the car.

I shook my head and stopped before I got into the truck. I thought I should probably call Edward and tell him Jake wanted to go for a ride. I moved to take my phone out, but stopped.

Would calling Edward make it worse for Jake?

Would I be rubbing his nose in it?

I looked down at the ground before looking up to see Jacob staring at me with a look of expectation. I searched my mind for an excuse before I said, "I'm just tying my shoe."

He gave a nod and started the car as I knelt down. When I was sure I was covered by the truck I took the phone out from my pocket and began to type.

_**Hey. He wants to go for a ride, not sure where though. He hasn't said what's wrong yet but I wanted to let you know I'm okay. I'll text you as soon and I find out where we are headed. Please don't worry. I love you!**_

I switched the phone to vibrate for when he answered, put the phone in my right coat pocket, and stood up to get in the car. He wouldn't like that we were going for a ride, but I would keep him updated as much as I could.

We drove for a while in an awkward silence. I didn't know what to say, and he wasn't saying anything. I didn't even know where to start. The last time we saw each other, we didn't exactly part on the best of terms, and now he was telling me he needed me.

My mind raced. Why was I here? Edward must have been going crazy.

Edward.

As if he could sense I was thinking about him, I felt my phone vibrate. I looked at Jacob out of the corner of my eye to make sure he wasn't paying attention before I took my phone out of my pocket and kept it hidden beside my leg.

**One New Message**

I opened the message and felt a wave of guilt hit me.

_**Bella are you sure that's safe? I'm just worried. Please be careful. I love you.**_

I looked back over at Jake who was too busy mumbling to himself to pay attention to me. I looked at the window and saw the '_Now Leaving Forks'_ sign. My eyes went wide.

"Jake, where are you taking me?! We have to turn around now!"

Jake started to immediately shake his head. "No! It'll be better now. No one can keep us apart. We're never going back."

I started to panic. "What the hell do you mean? Jake, you're not making any sense!" I almost screamed. Now I was starting to get worried. Before either one of us could say anything else my phone started to vibrate again.

**Incoming Call from Edward**.

I hit accept right away, not caring anymore if Jake got mad. "Edward?" I saw Jake's hand clench the steering wheel and look over at me.

"Bella! Thank god. Are you ok?" His beautiful voice was laced with worry.

"I'm fine, what's wrong?"

"Hang up the phone, Bella!" Jake shouted. I threw him a dirty look and put my attention back to the phone.

"Bella, love, you have to tell me where you are."

"Bella, hang up the phone now!" Jacob shouted.

"I am not hanging up the phone! Edward, we're on the highway, he won't turn around!" I said through clenched teeth. Jacob was really starting to piss me off.

"You need to tell me where you are now. Bella, he left a note saying you two were running away together."

"He did what?!" Rage filled my system and I turned to face Jake completely. "Jake what the hell do you think..."

"Hang up the goddamn phone Bella" he yelled at the same time as me.

I shook my head as I heard Edward scream my name from the phone.

"Edward, we're on the highway heading north it looks like... hey!" Jake grabbed my phone from my hand quickly. I grabbed his arm trying to wrestle it back without any luck.

"Jake, give me the damn phone and turn the car around now! What the hell are you doing?"

I could hear Edward's voice booming from the phone that had yet to be hung up.

"No! Bella! Stop! You don't belong with him! You belong with me. He's brain washing you."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Jake had officially gone insane.

I stopped struggling for the phone and started to hit him repeatedly on the arm. It hurt my hands more than it hurt him, but I had to do something.

"Jacob Black, you let me out of this car right the hell now. I'm not going anywhere with you!" I screamed.

Jacob kept his left arm on the steering wheel as his right hand still held a firm grip on my phone. "Bella! Stop! I don't want to hurt you. Please!" he begged me. He was actually begging me. And _hurt me?!_ This only fueled my rage. I began hitting him harder even though I knew it was pointless.

"Hurt me? Jacob, stop the damn car. Edward!" I screamed loudly knowing he could hear me through the phone.

The next thing I knew Jacob's right arm moved and shoved me hard causing me to smash against the passenger door. Then everything went black.

* * *

My head hurt. No, my head throbbed. I groaned as I put my hand up to my head.

_What the hell happened? _

I tried to open my eye lids, but they felt incredibly heavy. It seemed like an eternity before I was finally able to force them open. I immediately started to panic when I didn't recognize the room I was in. It was dark and disgusting. The walls were a horrible green color that reminded me of vomit and whatever I was lying on was as hard as a rock. As I tried to sit up a wave of dizziness hit me. My hand moved to the back of my head where the main pressure was coming from. I hissed in pain as my hand came in contact with a rather large lump I didn't remember receiving. I pulled my hand away and saw a small amount of blood cover the tips of my fingers. My heart stopped.

All of the memories from earlier that day came back with a crashing force: Edward dropping me off, the phone call, me screaming at Jake, Jake shoving me, and then everything going black. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I tried to think of a way out of this.

"You're awake."

His voice made me jump and I sat up too quickly, causing my head to spin. At the end of the bed Jacob stood with his arms at his sides and I could easily tell that his body was full of tension. His eyes still had the crazed look about them that told me my Jacob wasn't there.

"You hit me" I whispered in complete shock.

His eyes turned almost soft. "Bella, I am so sorry. You wouldn't calm down; there was nothing else I could do!" he pleaded as he took a step closer.

I cowered back in fear. He stopped immediately, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I took that as an opportunity to speak. "Jake, what are you doing? You left a note with Billy saying we were running away together? What were you thinking?"

Jacob started to pace back and forth and shake his head. "I'm in love with you, Bella, and you love me. We belong together."

A wave of guilt came over me with full force. "We talked about this, Jacob. I chose Edward." He stopped pacing and the look in his eyes terrified me.

He bounded his way towards me, picked me up by my shoulders and brought his face inches away from mine. "No! He has you brain washed! You don't love him. You love me. And you're staying with me!" He screamed.

Tears filled my eyes; the pain he was inflicting on my arms was becoming too much.

"Jake, you're acting crazy. This isn't you. I'm sorry! I'm sorry that I hurt you, but I love Edward..."

Before I could finish the sentence, Jacob tossed me onto the floor causing me to cry out in pain as I landed on my elbow.

"I'm not going to have some bloodsucking leech take you away from me! No, it _is_ not happening. You belong with me, Bella, not with him. You know this." I watched as he reached into his pocket and took out my cell phone. "I didn't want to have to do this, but you give me no choice. I thought we could just go away and everything would be fine, but I see now that he'll always have a hold on you. I'm going to have to call Sam and tell him to go ahead and kill your precious _Cullens_."

"No!" I screamed as I lunged towards him. I grabbed his arm and started to beg. "No! Jacob, please! Please, don't! I'll stay, I swear I'll stay! Please, just don't do that!" My mind raced with horrifying images of a huge battle between the Cullens and the wolf pack.

Body parts and bloodstains everywhere, and flames to cover the tracks...

"You're only saying that so I won't kill your leech lover. You don't want to stay with me." he stated as he put the phone to his ear.

I grabbed his wrist and tried to yank it back but it didn't move. "No, please Jacob. I'll stay. Just don't hurt them, please."

Tears were clouding my vision and all I could think of was Edward and his family. I would do anything to protect them. The thought of the wolf pack, which now outnumbered them, attacking them made me sick to my stomach. I refused to be the cause of such an attack.

Jacob stared into my eyes, looking for something , though I wasn't exactly sure what it was. But after a couple seconds he nodded his head.

I let out a sigh of relief until I heard the next words come out of his mouth. "You have to call him and tell him it's over. Tell him you don't love him. That you love me, and you want to be with me."

I started to slowly shake my head. I couldn't do that. I couldn't even dream of doing that. Hearing his voice would not help. I silently begged Jacob with my eyes not to make me do this. He didn't flinch. After a minute of staring he started to bring the phone back to his ear and I moved quickly.

"Ok!" I cried out in a panic. "But can I be alone?" I knew it was a long shot to ask, but I had to try.

"Do you think I'm that stupid, Bella? No. Call him now, right here." He pushed the phone towards me and I stared at it with fear. I needed a way to let Edward know not to believe the black words I was about to say to him. If he believed it, he wouldn't come looking for me and as much as I didn't want him or his family in danger, I needed to know he would look for me no matter what.

My mind raced with possible ideas when I saw my purse lying on the chair in the corner of the room. It took everything in me not to show my smile. I nodded and looked back up at Jacob. "Ok, but can I go to the bathroom first, splash some water on my face. If he hears how nervous I am, he's going to think something is up, and.." I took a deep breath and swallowed, "we don't want that, right?"

Jacob thought it over and finally nodded. "You're right. Go ahead. Then you can call him and we'll move on with our lives." He took a step forward and put my head in between his hands. "Together." he said softly before leaning down and placing a slight kiss on my forehead. It took everything I had not to shiver under his vile touch.

I gave him a weak smile before walking over and grabbing my purse. As I reached for it, I felt his hot hand on my wrist. "Why do you need your purse?"

_Crap_.

I tried to think of something and prayed he would believe it. "Ugh" I hesitated for a second then looked up at him. "I'm on my period Jake, I need a tampon." A blush formed on my cheeks and I looked down. I knew he had heightened sense, but I had hoped they weren't that heightened. I felt him snap his hand back off of me and shift uncomfortably.

"Oh," he said as he looked around. "Ok."

He walked back over to the window and peaked out of the closed drapes. I let out a breath and quickly moved to the bathroom. I closed the door, not locking it because I didn't need him to break it down, and sat on the closed toilet seat. I frantically searched my purse for a pen and the little note pad I knew was in there. I wanted to scream out in excitement when I found it but had to contain myself. I listened for any sign that Jake was suspecting something, but heard nothing. I didn't even know if this would work. Technically, yes I was by myself, but Jacob was still in the other room. So Alice might not even see it, but I had to try.

I tried to will myself to stop shaking as I quickly wrote a note to my love.


	4. Chapter 3

**Things I don't own.. Edward or his sexy brothers, and all of the rest of the Twilight characters! **

* * *

**EPOV**

"_Edward!"_

I heard my love scream seconds before the line went dead. I stood there as still as a statue.

He had taken her.

Jacob had _taken _her from me.

Rage started to slowly make its way through my entire body. I could see nothing but the blinding revulsion and hear nothing but the thoughts of murder. The terror in her voice as she screamed my name and the sound of a hard bang just as the line disconnected meant only one thing: he had hurt her.

I dropped the cell phone and realized that my two brothers and my father were trying to restrain me. I hadn't even noticed I had started to move, let alone noticed they were holding me back. Slowly their voices started to reach my ears.

"Edward, son, please calm down. We'll get her back" Carlisle spoke.

"Jasper, calm him!" Emmett yelled as I broke my arm free and he fought to grab it again.

"I can't: he's too far gone for my influence to work!"

"Edward! Edward! Stop fighting us! We have to go to Charlie, Edward, he needs us. We'll get her back son. I swear."

I stopped fighting as thoughts of my love resurfaced. Jasper was right. I was too far gone for any kind of influence. Even my own mind-reading power had been blocked because of my rage. As I stopped fighting, all of their thoughts and concerns started to burst into my head. Alice, Rosalie, and Esme all stood there and watched in fear as I finally gave up and collapsed to the ground. Loud sobs escaped from inside of my chest as I cried tears that could never shed. I had handed her over to him: this was my fault. I felt Jasper's hand on my back.

"Edward don't do that, it's not your fault. It's nobody's fault but Jacob's."

The sound of his name caused a furious snarl to erupt from my chest as the rage started to resurface.

I looked up as I felt a pair of hands touch my cheeks and I found my eyes connected with my mother's.

"Son, please stay with us. We'll get her back, I promise." Her caring eyes showed concern and her thoughts mirrored them: she was scared for me. "Bella will be ok."

The sound of her name had me sobbing again. "Mom…" I choked out in a whisper and let her take me in her arms. She rubbed my back and rocked me as I sobbed so loudly, I was sure the people over in the next town could probably hear.

Esme gave me the comfort that only a mother could and I held onto her for dear life. I felt so helpless. I had let the love of my life go into the arms of danger. A danger I didn't want to believe was possible.

I don't know how, but somehow, I was now in the back of my car, still cradled in Esme's arms while Carlisle drove. Alice was in the front seat next to him and Jasper next to Esme. I let her rock me back and forth as I watched Alice search the future for Bella. She was becoming frustrated. The wolves blocked her visions, but she tried anyway.

Jasper must have felt her frustration because he said, "Alice, why don't you concentrate on Charlie. Maybe Bella will call him."

The second he said that Alice's visions of Charlie went blank. He had no future right now. My eyes snapped open and I sat up.

"Carlisle, drive faster! Charlie's future is blank. The wolves must be on their way!"

"Edward, it's ok. Emmett and Rosalie are behind us. We are all here" Esme whispered as she grabbed my hand.

I nodded to let her know I had heard her, but I did not relax my body. I couldn't do that again. I had had my moment of weakness, but now it was gone. Now I had to stay focused on getting my Bella back to me, _safely_.

"Do you think _they_ have something to do with this?" Jasper asked.

Carlisle shook his head. "It's hard to say. We all know Bella well enough to know that if it was, in fact, true that she wanted Jacob over Edward, she would have told us herself. She also knows we would never hurt Charlie, so for the wolves to be there, is not a good sign."

I clenched my jaw as I willed Carlisle to drive faster. Bella did love me. I told myself over and over in my head. We were going to get married. I pushed everyone else's thoughts out of my head as I concentrated on a plan to bring Bella home safely.

Five minutes later, we were pulling up outside of Bella's house where Charlie stood with Sam Uley, Billy Black, and Seth Clearwater.

_We're not here for a fight. _I heard Sam's thoughts before we stopped the car

_Edward, dude, we're here to help. _Seth pleaded with his thoughts, but I was blind to sympathy.

I jumped out of the car and crouched back, letting out a hiss and baring my teeth towards the two wolves. I didn't care about Charlie standing there, or the three other wolves that were hidden in the woods next to the house. All I cared about was that one of them had taken Bella, and someone was going to pay.

_Son! Stop it! _Carlisle's voice yelled at me through his head, but I didn't pay attention.

I didn't even take notice to Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie crouching behind me, hissing towards the woods. Esme and Carlisle were at my side while Alice pushed her hands against my chest.

"What the hell is going on here?" Charlie screamed as he made his way towards me.

Billy grabbed his arm, halting his movements for fear that I would attack. I wanted to snort. Charlie's only fear should be them.

"Carlisle," Sam's voice called out. I hissed loudly, again, causing Charlie to jump slightly. "We have nothing to do with this. Jacob is sick" he explained.

I searched his thoughts and saw flashes of Jacob screaming at all of them, begging for an attack against us.

"Sam, as you can understand, Edward is very upset. We mean you no harm. Please, call off your reinforcements" Carlisle pleaded.

I heard snorts and howls from the woods, which caused my two brothers and my sister to crouch lower and prepare for an attack.

"Dr. Cullen," Billy called out. "As you can understand, we can't do that: You outnumber us right now."

Carlisle nodded his head and turned back to me. "Edward," he whispered. "Calm down. Your brothers and sister will stay out here. Your mother, Alice and I will come in with you. Let's hear them out. I'm sure we've already confused Charlie enough."

After a second of scanning both their thoughts again I returned to my normal stance and covered my teeth. "They plan to tell Charlie everything about themselves" I stated as my eyes stayed focused on Billy. "They will give us the choice if we want to or not."

Carlisle nodded his head once, his mind completely blank.

We slowly made our way towards the house. Charlie, who had been silent since I had hissed at them, was now on the verge of exploding with anger. "Will someone please explain to me where my daughter is?" he yelled.

"Charlie," Carlisle started once we had reached them. "We'll explain everything once we're all inside." His calming tone did nothing to help the worry Charlie was feeling, but he finally agreed and we all moved to go inside.

_Edward._

I looked up to see the Seth looking at me with pleading eyes.

_I'm sorry. We didn't know he would lose it like this._

I stared at him blankly before moving to walk into the house. So many emotions hit me at once. Her scent was everywhere, but she was nowhere to be found. I swallowed back a sob as I felt Esme's hand move into my own.

_Be strong. _I heard her think, and I closed my eyes before moving into the living room.

Sam stood in front of the TV with Billy on his right and Seth on his left. Charlie paced back and forth in front of the couch, his thoughts going everywhere.

"Would someone please just explain to me what is going on? I've tried to call my daughter and her phone is going to voicemail. Jacob doesn't have a phone, and no one seems to know where they are. Did your son kidnap my daughter, Billy?"

Billy looked at his good friend with pain in his eyes. "Yes, Charlie" he whispered, his voice coated in shame.

Charlie stopped pacing and stared at his friend. I flinched at the thoughts he was having. Bella screaming for help while Jacob grabbed her and ran. I closed my eyes, silently begging him not to think about it anymore.

"Is she ok?" Charlie's voice was filled with fear for his only daughter.

"I don't think Jacob will hurt her, Charlie, but he is sick" Sam explained.

I couldn't stay quiet anymore. "I heard what Jacob," I said his name with such venom and disgust, "did to her! She screamed my name before he slammed her against the car and shut the phone off."

Charlie's eyes went wide and I heard a whimper escape his mouth as his legs finally gave out and he fell to the couch. Alice rushed to his side and put a reassuring hand on his arm as his mind flooded with images of Jacob beating Bella to death. I squeezed my eyes shut once again to push the images out.

"Surely you are mistaken..." Billy began.

"No, he's not. I heard it too," Alice spoke softly from her place next to Charlie.

"You talked to her too?" Charlie asked as he looked up.

Alice looked over at Carlisle for help. He took a step forward and started to speak. "Charlie, there are a few things you need to know about my family and I."

"And Jacob, and the rest of us as well," Sam added.

Charlie looked up at both of them confused…


	5. Chapter 4

**Things I don't own.. The Twilight Saga and all it's amazing characters!**

* * *

**EPOV**

"What do you mean?" Charlie asked, clearly confused.

"Charlie," Carlisle began, "I'm sure you've heard the talk. Whispers, of how my family and I are different."

"I don't take much stock in rumors, Carlisle you know that."

It was no secret that Bella got her smarts from her father. We could only hope her graciousness came from him as well.

"Charlie, there have been secrets we all have been keeping from you. For no other reason than to keep you safe," Billy stated.

Charlie was starting to get really confused. His thoughts were all over the place. "Keep me safe? What are you all trying to tell me here? Are you all apart of some kind of mob or something?" he asked with a little chuckle as he looked around at all of us.

When none of us said anything, Charlie's face went pale, "You aren't are you?"

"Charlie, can you come with me to the window, please?" Sam asked as he moved towards the window.

I watched as he moved with Sam, Billy, and my father to the window. His thoughts were filled with questions. Charlie honestly had never suspected anything about my family and I. He looked at us like a normal family. _Normal._ If only I was, then Bella would be home safe and not taken by a deranged wolf who was keeping her held hostage.

"Edward," I looked up to see Alice now standing in front of me.

"I can't imagine the pain you're feeling right now, but we have to explain this to Charlie and he needs all of us. We need you to help us. Please don't lose yourself."

I looked into my sister's eyes and saw fear in them. She was filled with fear. For myself, for Bella, and for Charlie. I felt her take my hand in hers and give it a little squeeze. It was just the form of comfort I needed to get me through that second.

"Sweet Jesus!" Charlie cried out as he stumbled backwards. I saw as he replayed through his mind what he just saw. Sam walked outside of the house, took off his shirt, and then transformed into a huge wolf with black fur.

"Charlie, if you let us explain…" Billy started towards his friend but Charlie stepped back and sat down. A look of pure shock was written across his face.

"Explain? Explain what exactly, Billy? What the hell did I just see?" Charlie snapped his head towards the window where Sam still stood in wolf form. He then turned his head back towards me and my family. "Are you trying to tell me that's what you are? You all are?"

Carlisle put his hands up and shook his head. "No, Charlie, that's only the Quileute boys. We're different"

"Different, how?" Charlie asked.

"Charlie, remember when we were younger, and my dad use to tell us all of those old ghost stories? You know, about our tribe?" Billy asked as he wheeled over to Charlie.

Memories filled Charlie's mind of times when he was younger; listening to stories around a fire down on the Quileute Rez. Charlie began to slowly nod his head.

"Remember we were always told that our tribe was descended from wolves?"

Charlie nodded again as he stared at his friend.

"Do you remember the story Charlie?"

Flashes of the thousands of stories that he was told came to his mind. He tried to remember the specific one Billy was talking about.

"Yeah," he began slowly. "The story about the Cold On…"

Then it all clicked for him. I saw as his mind pieced together every detail we had just given him. I saw flashes of each one of my family members, myself included, then flashes of things he was just now realizing; our incredibly pale skin, Alice's cold touch, how we never eat, and the color of our eyes.

_Vampire._

The word rang through his head though he refused to say it out loud. Carlisle looked over at me and I gave him a nod. Charlie knew what we were. Now all we had to do was wait for his reaction.

* * *

I stood outside my love's bedroom door, trying to force myself to turn the handle. Her scent was much stronger behind the door, but I didn't know if _that_ was such a good thing. I needed her near me, and if her scent was the closest thing I could get to that, then that's what I wanted. My hand squeezed the handle a little harder and I heard the metal start to bend under my strength. I was scared; scared of a room. Me; a one-hundred-and-nine year old vampire, was terrified of a bedroom. I didn't know what would happen once I went in there. Would her scent, and all of the memories I had, make me completely and utterly helpless? I had never felt helpless in my life, but today, that feeling seemed to be creeping closer and closer.

I was so distracted by my internal debate on whether to go into Bella's room or not, I had been completely unaware of Carlisle and Sam, who were walking behind me towards Charlie's bedroom door, until they spoke. Charlie had taken news about what we were considerably well. Although, he didn't say a word, and his mind was completely blank of all thought, it was definitely better than what we all had expected. My father and Billy were hardly able to explain the entire truth before Charlie stood up, requested a moment to gather his thoughts, and retreated to his room.

That was two hours ago, and no one had heard a word out of him since.

"Charlie?" I heard Carlisle ask. "I know it's a lot to take in, but maybe if you let us explain a little more…"

My head snapped towards the end of the hall, where Carlisle and Sam stood outside of Charlie's door. Charlie was finally moving inside and his thoughts let me know that he wanted to talk to me. I closed my eyes and let out a breath of relief; if I stood outside her bedroom door any longer, I was sure to drive myself crazy. I heard the door swing open and before Carlisle or Sam could say anything, he made his way down the hallway and stopped when he saw me standing outside of Bella's bedroom. His thoughts were those of disbelief; everything he knew to be true had just been challenged and he wasn't sure what to believe. I turned towards him and watched as he looked me up and down. I saw myself through his mind and I looked broken, which is exactly how I felt.

"My daughter," he began, which caused me to flinch. It was getting hard for me to hear even that. "She knew about you? About your family?" His question was almost a whisper, but neither I, nor my family, had a hard time hearing it . I tried to speak, but found that if I opened my mouth, a sob would escape, so I gave him one tight, short nod.

He was silent for a long time after that. All of a sudden, I became fearful again. What if he took back his blessing for our marriage? Would Charlie be able to handle our secret? True, he didn't know everything about us, but he knew enough to put the pieces together, though he had yet to acknowledged it out loud.

Carlisle asked me what was going on with his thoughts, but I made no attempt to answer him. I just stood there in front of the man that was supposed to become my father-in-law.

Charlie finally let out a breath of air and shook his head as he looked away from me. "Bella is a smart girl," I flinched again at her name. "She knows what's right and what's wrong. So, you have my word, I won't say anything to anyone." He looked over at Carlisle then over to Sam. "About any of you,"

Carlisle put his hand on Charlie's shoulder and began to speak, "We know that, Charlie. We're sorry to have kept something like this from you. If you'd like, we can go downstairs and finish explaining it to you?"

Charlie shook his head and looked over at my father. "To be honest, Carlisle, I think the less I know, the better. I just want to know how we're going to get my daughter back."

Before any of us could respond, Alice appeared at the top of the stairs. "I just had a vision! I saw Bella!"

I stopped breathing as I stared at my sister. If she saw Bella that meant she was away from Jacob.

"Where is she?" I asked quickly. I searched Alice's mind and she was singing the National Anthem in Italian. I growled at her which caused Charlie to jump back.

"Edward," she started to say with her hands up. "Calm down. Come downstairs and I'll explain it to everyone. You have your cell phone, right? She'll be calling you soon." I was downstairs in the blink of an eye, causing Charlie to ask where I had gone. I paced back and forth with my phone in my hand. I was staring at it, willing it to ring.

After what seemed like hours, Charlie, Sam, and my father finally made it down the stairs to join, Alice, my mother, Seth, Billy, and myself in the living room. Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper were still outside with the other wolves.

"Alice, what did you see?" Carlisle asked in a calmed tone as Charlie sat down on the couch next to Esme.

I almost screamed at her when she took too long to answer, but then I was surrounded by the vision she had had no more than five minutes ago.

* * *

**BPOV**

I bit my lip as I started to write on a piece of paper that I wasn't sure would be seen.

_**I don't know if you can see this, but I have to try. Please tell Edward that I love him. Jacob is going to make me call him and tell him lies. Please tell him he is my life.**_

I paused as tears started to form in my eyes. This was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do.

_**I will try to leave some clues when I can to let you know where I am. Please find me, Edward. Please bring me back to you.**_

I flipped the piece of paper over and quickly wrote my home number on it with a note to whoever found it.

"Bella?" I heard Jacob call through the door. His voice made me jump and I quickly stashed the pen back into my purse and the note into my back pocket.

"Yeah, I'm coming out!"

I tried to make my voice not shake but it didn't work. I sent out another silent prayer that Alice saw me write the note, took a deep breath, and opened the door. Jacob was standing there looking at me suspiciously.

"I just had to use the bathroom, Jake." I whispered, looking down at my feet. I couldn't look him in eye for fear that he would see right past my lie. He nodded his head and held my cell phone out to me.

I stared at it like it was a weapon, because, essentially, it was. The object in his hand was going to destroy everything I lived for and tear my heart out of my chest. I fought back the tears as I tried to force myself to take the phone. I must have hesitated for too long because I heard Jacob let out a huff before taking the phone and bringing it up to his ear.

"I thought you understood, Bella," he began. Panic immediately started to rise in me.

"No, Jake! Please! I told you I will. Just… give me the phone!" I held my hand out and looked at everything but him. I could see from the corner of my eye that he was staring at me with uncertainty .

After a second, he handed me the phone and I took it and made my way to the bed. I dialed the love of my life's telephone number.

"Make it quick," Jacob ordered. He stood in front of me with his arms crossed as I sat perched on the edge of the bed. I nodded and brought the phone up to my ear.

"Bella!" Edward sung out.

My heart skipped a beat as I heard his voice through the phone, and I had to choke back a sob.

"Edward," I whispered as a burning tear rolled down my face. I saw Jacob move in front of me, and I remembered the reason I was calling.

"Bella, love. Are you ok? Where are you? Please. Can you give me anything?" He sounded so frantic and concerned. It broke my heart even more.

"Edward, the reason I'm calling," I ignored all his questions; I needed to get this over with before I begged him to find me and got them all killed, "is to tell you something."

"Tell him, Bella," Jacob growled.

"Bella, love, tell me where you are." Edward begged from the other end of the phone.

His voice, even in pain and sorrow, was so beautiful. It would be one of the millions of things that I would miss about him. I squeezed my eyes shut and fell deep into myself. I had to become a void in order for this to be convincing.

"I'm with Jacob, Edward. I'm staying with Jacob."

"No, Bella. I will find you; I promise you, I will find you."

My heart soared. I wanted him to find me, I wanted him to save me, but in order for him and his family to be safe, I couldn't let that be known with Jacob so close.

"Edward, you don't get it," I repeated the words he had said to me all those months ago when we were alone in the woods. "I don't want you to look for me. I'm staying with Jacob. Goodbye"

I hung up the phone before I could hear his response which caused a sob escaped my throat. To my surprise, all Jacob did was grab the phone, that was now ringing again, from my hand. He broke it in two and dropped it to the floor. Silent tears burned their way down my face as Jacob grabbed my hand and stood me up.

"No more tears," he whispered as he wiped them away. I felt numb. Nothing was ok, and nothing would be ok until I was with Edward again – if I ever was with Edward again. "This is how it's supposed to be. Now we can be happy together; happy and in love."

I shuddered at his words, but kept quiet. My mind was completely blank and I could only imagine how Edward was reacting to my phone call, especially if Alice hadn't seen the note. I then realized Jacob's hands were on my face as he tilted my head up towards his.

"Kiss me, Bella." he whispered.

Bile began to rise in my throat as he moved closer to me. When his lips made contact with mine I couldn't help the cry that escaped; the cry of sorrow that Jacob mistook for passion. He pressed his hot lips harder against mine and held my face with excruciating force. I wasn't responding to any of it, although by the way he was kissing and moaning, he obviously thought that I was.

After what seemed like hours, he pulled back and I just stared ahead willing the world to open up and swallow me whole.

"We're going to be so happy, Bella. Everything is the way it should be now. Just you and me and no one else, the way it should be." I swallowed and finally looked up at him. I forced a tight lipped smile and braced myself for what I knew was going to be the most painful time in my life.

* * *

_**First Attempt**_

I sat in what was called 'The Wagon Wheel Café' in Ellensburg, Washington. It was our place to stay for the next couple of weeks. It was a change to what we were used to. Usually we would only stay somewhere for a day or two, as Jacob was always too scared to stay any longer for fear that '_he_' would track us down. But I guess after two weeks of no word and no sight of '_him_' or his family, Jacob figured it would be safe to stay put for awhile. I slowly chewed on the sandwich in front of me, forcing it down my throat. My appetite was nonexistent lately, but if I didn't eat, it would upset Jacob. And he scared me when he was upset. He almost phased in front of me numerous times, and his body continued to shake violently with anger.

There wasn't a day that went by when he didn't scream at me. On the rare nights I actually got to sleep, I would wake up to him screaming; apparently I said '_his_' name in my sleep and that upset Jacob to no end. I was forced to kiss him every day, forced to lie in his arms at night, and forced to constantly tell him I loved him. I tried to remember the feelings that I knew I had had for him, before all of this had happened. The love was there, that I couldn't deny, but those feelings were gone, and now all that was left was fear. I couldn't even bring myself to hate him because I was terrified about whether he would find out or not.

"Bella, have you been listening to anything I've been saying?" His voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked up to see him glaring at me.

"Oh, sorry, Jake," I mumbled. I wiped my hands on the napkin. "I'm completely spacing out today."

"What are you thinking about?" I knew that tone in his voice. It was the tone he used when he knew my mind would wander off to a place that wasn't allowed.

"Um." My brain wasn't functioning right for a quick enough response, and I knew I had been caught out. Jacob slammed his hand down on the table, which caused me to jump and a couple of other people to look at us.

"Jake…" I started as my eyes roamed around to the people who were now staring at us.

"What do I have to do, Bella? Tell me! You always think about him! Always! How can you love me and still have _him_ on your mind?" Jacob started to shout which caused his body to shake. I started to shake my head as tears formed in my eyes.

"No, Jake, I was… I wasn't. I swear. I do love you!" I tried to make my voice sound convincing, though it was nearly impossible. My heart broke a little each time I was forced to say those words.

He started to breath in and out, and I could see that he was slowly calming down. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Ok. I'm sorry, baby." I cringed at his words. "I just get so upset sometimes. I know you love me." He picked up my hand and kissed the back of it. It took every ounce of control I had to not yank it away from him. I forced a smile as he put my hand back down and I looked down at my lap. "You finish eating, I'm going to run to the bathroom." I nodded as he stood up, leaned down to kiss me on the head, and then walked towards what, I assumed, was the bathroom.

My chin quivered and I had to force tears to stay away as I breathed in and out evenly. What the hell was I doing? I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't stay with him. But I couldn't leave either. He would find me, and I wouldn't be fast enough to get away.

All my hope was gone.

"Miss?" My head shot up to see a blonde haired man, the waiter, standing before me with a look of concern in his eyes. "Are you ok, Miss?

Do you need anything?" Did I need anything? Yes. I needed to get away from him. My eyes went wide. Could this man possibly help me? Surely Jacob wouldn't phase in front of this many people, or anyone besides me for that matter, and it would help me escape. I looked up at the man with tears in my eyes.

"Yes, please. I'm being held against my will. Please, my name is Isabella Swan. I'm from Forks, Washington. Please help me…"

"Bella!"

I jumped as I heard Jacob scream from behind the man. My face drained of all color as the man turned around to try and protect me. I immediately regretted ever bringing him into it. The man put his hands up and blocked my body with his own as he started to speak.

"Look, Sir, the lady doesn't want to be around you anymore, so I think you should just leave before I call the police."

I saw Jacob's body start to shake and I stood to try and beg the man to move, but it was too late. Jacob grabbed his arm and twisted it like it was a tree branch and everyone within a ten feet radius could hear the waiters bone crack under the pressure.

People started to scream and run as the man fell to his knees, Jacob had nearly ripped his arm out of his socket. I cried out as Jacob finally let go of the man, grabbed my arm, and yanked me with him as he ran down the street.

I could barely breathe but with the little breath I had, I whispered out to the waiter, lying on the ground, back at the café, "I'm sorry."


	6. Chapter 5

**Things I don't own.. Bella and her sexy vampire Edward! :(**

* * *

**EPOV**

Two weeks.

It had been two weeks since I had last seen or heard from my love. 14 days, 10 hours, 4 minutes and 32 seconds, to be exact, and every second that passed after that felt like an eternity.

Alice would get little visions here and there, letting us know she was, at the very least, still alive, but saw nothing that would help us figure out where she was. She would get snaps of her in the bathroom, in the shower, or when he would, we could only guess, go out. Those visions were the hardest, because he would tie her to something and she would spend the entire time trying to free herself from the restraints, causing her wrists to become raw.

My Bella looked completely miserable and unhealthy. She looked fatigued, and her coloring did not look good. Each vision, though brought me a little bit of happiness, made my heart break. We were all trying so hard to find her, and it seemed like our attempts were futile. It wasn't until last week when we finally caught a break. A guest, staying at the hotel, found the note from Bella hiding under the blanket on the bed and gave it to the hotel's manager right away.

_**Whoever finds this, please call Charlie Swan at (360) 901-4041. Left by Bella Swan **_

The manager, Kristin, called Charlie right away. But of course, Alice saw the phone call before it was made, so we were already on our way. I could hear the conversation Jasper, Alice and my father were having with Kristin, while Sam, Seth, and Leah searched around the area in wolf form to try and pick up Jacob's scent. True, they could hear each others thoughts, but something had happened when Jacob took Bella. He broke away from Sam and his alpha orders, causing his thoughts to be completely empty to the others in the pack.

I read the manager's mind as she recalled what she could remember: some memories from when Jacob had brought Bella here. Her first memory was of Jacob booking the hotel room as she looked outside and saw Bella unconscious in the front seat. The sight made me want to tear the room apart. To anyone else she could have just been sleeping, but I knew the truth - that mutt had hit her and she had lost consciousness.

I couldn't move. I wanted to, but I couldn't. Her scent was still strong in the tiny, dirty room, and the scent of her blood, that had stained the pillow, was just as strong. I could smell it before we even came into the room. I wanted to vomit. He hurt her; Jacob hurt her enough to make her bleed. He had caused her physical pain, and I wanted nothing more than to do the same to him.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to control the immense amount of rage that was coursing through my body. I guess my rage had started getting to breaking point because it wasn't long before I felt Jasper's calming influence settle on me. It wasn't much, but just enough to get my head straight.

I opened my eyes and focused on the piece of paper in my hand: Bella's note.

_**Please find me, Edward. Bring me back to you.**_

_I will, my love. I promise_.

I sent my silent vow out to anyone who would hear it. I _would_ find her. I stood up and started to move around the room. I had to find something, anything, that could help us.

"You know, your eyebrows scrunch together when you're really concentrating on something?"

I stopped moving and stood still when her beautiful voice reached my ears.

The hallucinations were back.

Ever since the night that Bella had been taken, I had been hearing her voice, as though she were right there. Sometimes, she spoke of memories, and sometimes she would be commenting on something I was doing. These hallucinations were a clear sign I was starting to lose it. Partly, due to the fact that I wasn't hunting regularly. I didn't care though, she was here with me and every time she showed up like this, I couldn't help the joy and happiness I felt.

"That's because I am," I answered with a small smile.

"You know this isn't normal right? I'm not here. You're talking to yourself."

I heard her slight laugh and smiled.

"Of course, I haven't completely lost my mind," I answered as I looked over every inch of the room.

The place was utterly disgusting, and the smell was revolting. I walked into the bathroom and looked around. It was a small room that barely had enough space to hold one person. I looked over at the shower and moved the curtain. The shower was fifthly and looked like it hadn't been used in months. The sight and smell brought back a memory from the summer, before Bella's birthday.

* * *

_Bella walked back into my room rubbing lotion onto her hands. Her face had a look of concentration on it. _

"_What's wrong, love?" I asked from my perch on the leather couch. I was leaning back with my hand behind my head and a book on my chest. _

"_Can you smell?" Bella asked as she sat down on the edge of the couch._

_I let out a slight chuckle. "What?" _

"_Can you smell? Like, if you don't take a shower for a month, will you start to smell, like a normal person?" _

_I sat up fully on the couch and looked at her. She was serious. _

"_Well we don't produce any oils or body odor, but we do get dirty. Especially after hunting, so I suspect if we didn't take a shower, we would probably start to smell." _

_Bella seemed to contemplate my answer for a couple seconds before she replied with a "Hmm," while continuing to look around my room. _

_Even after months of being together, and after countless times of us being in my room, she still seemed to be amazed by all of the things I had. I didn't say anything for a couple seconds; I just looked at her beautiful face as she looked around my room. Bella was pleasantly unaware of how beautiful she actually was, which only made her more beautiful in my eyes. My Bella thought she was plain, and yet, she was the furthest thing from it._

_I felt the corners of my mouth turn up. "Why do you ask?" _

_Bella let out a soft cough before turning towards me and bringing her left leg up to rest on the couch while the other stayed on the ground. _

"_Your bathroom is really clean. I mean, like _really_ clean. It just made me wonder if you all shower daily, or not; if it was even necessary for you," Bella answered with a shrug._

_I sat there and smiled at her. She truly amazed me, and was constantly surprising me. I really would love her forever. Bella caught me staring at her, and a small smile appeared on her face. _

"_What?" Now it was her turn to question me. _

_I shook my head and reached out to pull her towards me. We laid back onto the couch, my arms around her waist and her head lying on my chest. _

"_Most humans would probably be wondering if we would be covered in blood if we didn't shower for a month, not if we would start to smell."_

_I chuckled at her as she playfully slapped my chest with her hand. I laughed again as I brought the same hand up and kissed it softly. _

"_Well, we all know I'm not like most humans, so that's ok." I heard her mumble._

_I closed my eyes and breathed in her sweet scent as I said, "It most definitely is ok." _

_I felt her warm arms make their way around my body, and continued to smile as I felt the completeness that only Bella could bring to me._

* * *

I stared into the shower as the memory ended. I suddenly had to swallow back the venom that was pooling in my mouth as her scent began to surround me almost as strongly as it had done that day. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing it to go away, and then I heard her voice. It was so clear, as if she were standing right behind me, and it whispered into my ear.

"Are you sure about that?"

I looked behind me. She wasn't there, she never was. I let out an unnecessary breath as I moved back into the main room. Maybe I was going crazy; maybe losing Bella had finally made me lose it altogether. I looked down at the note that was still in my hand, and read it for what had to be the millionth time. I traced her words with my fingers. A wave of helplessness started to make its way through my body. This is what my days were like now: going through the emotions of vexation and helplessness, and never knowing which emotion was going to win on that particular day.

My head snapped to the door when I heard my name being called. There stood Alice with a look of concern on her face.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked.

"I've been calling you for minutes now," she replied softly.

I was stunned. I hadn't heard her calling me at all. This had been happening too much lately, people were calling for me, either out loud or with their thoughts, and I was completely unaware.

_You're losing it,_ I told myself. I needed to get my head back in the game.

"I'm sorry, Alice. Did the manager say anything?"

She looked at me with the same concern that was laced in her thoughts. I continued to stare back at her; I couldn't let her know how close I was to actually going out of my mind.

"I had a vision. They are in Ellensburg. We won't make it in time, but we should go now. He's hurting people."

* * *

"Leah and Seth are following on foot, but Jacob is smart. He must be going out and running around to put his scent in every direction, but not Bella's," I heard Sam say to Carlisle.

We were all in Carlisle's car, about five minutes away from the Ellensburg Memorial Hospital, where the waiter who tried to help Bella was being taken care of.

"He must have been confident to leave Bella alone like that." Sam thought out loud.

My jaw clenched, and a small growl came from my chest. Sam looked back at me from the front seat while Carlisle yelled at me with his thoughts.

_Edward, stop it!_

I made eye contact with Sam and waited for him to say, out loud, the thoughts that were in his head.

"Edward, I understand that you don't trust me because of what Jacob has done," he began with a serious tone. "But I am trying to help. Jacob is sick, and I will do everything in my power to bring Bella back to you."

_He's genuinely sorry, Edward_, I heard Jasper think. He was sitting next to Alice, who was sitting next to me in the back seat, trying to calm me down. _Waves of guilt are coming off of him_.

I continued to hold Sam's gaze before I relaxed, just a bit. "I know, Sam," I whispered.

When I refused to say anything else, he gave me a curt nod before turning back towards the front. I heard Carlisle softly explain the visions Alice had had of Bella being tied up when Jacob would leave. A soft whimper escaped my mouth as I remembered the image of Bella pulling at her restraints while crying.

_Edward, it's going to be ok_, Alice's thoughts pleaded with me and she grabbed my hand.

I closed my eyes. That was all anyone ever said to me and it took everything in me not to scream that they didn't know that, that none of us did. Alice couldn't see Jacob. We didn't know when the next vision of Bella would come in and if she would be alive when it did.

I replayed Alice's latest vision over in my head. Bella had looked so scared, whispering to the young waiter, pleading for him to help her. Then her vision went black, and a minute later, came back to the young waiter on the ground, crying out as he clutched his broken and bloody arm.

I opened my eyes to see that we were pulling up to the hospital. I didn't wait for Carlisle to put the car in park, and completely ignored the protests from the others as I jumped out of the car and ran into the hospital to talk to the man that had tried to help my Bella escape.


	7. Chapter 6

**Things I don't own.. Anyone from the Twilight universe :(**

* * *

**BPOV**

_I was running, screaming for help that deep down I knew was never coming. I heard the dead leaves and twigs crumbling under my feet as I pushed myself to run faster; My heart was pounding in my chest and it felt like it was about to explode, but I didn't care. The sound of large paws hitting the ground behind me, chasing after me, gave me the power I needed to run faster. _

"_Somebody please help me!" I screamed as I ran._

_I didn't know where I was or where I was going; all I knew was that I had to get out of there. I looked up in front of me, and I saw him there, so close, yet so far away._

"_Edward! Please! Help me!" _

_I started to run faster. Why is he just standing there? Why wasn't he coming for me? As I got closer, I saw that he wasn't alone. I stopped suddenly in my tracks, and my eyes went wide. Edward was on his knees with Jacob standing behind him. Jacob had Edward's head in his hands with an angry look in his eyes. _

"_Jacob, please don't!" I begged._

"_He doesn't love you like I do, Bella! No one will!" Jacob screamed._

_Then I saw it happened. With a snap of his wrists, Jacob broke Edward's neck, ripping his head off. _

"_No!" I screamed as I watched my Soul Mate's body fall to the ground._

* * *

I woke up with a start and sat up fully in the bed. I squeezed my eyes shut as I willed my heart to stop racing and calm down. My body was shaking even though I was breathed in and out slowly. It was the same nightmare I had every night, it never changed. No matter how hard or fast I ran towards Edward, Jacob always seemed to be one step ahead.

"Are we really going to go through this _every_ morning, Bella?"

Jacob's voice made my blood run cold. I kept my eyes closed as I put my head in my hands and tried to keep the tears away. This was how every morning started, so I prepared myself for the yelling.

"You tell me you love me, yet you call _his_ name in your sleep? I thought things were going well, I thought you were starting to come around, yet every night, you call _his _name out in your sleep, even though you're lying in_ my_ arms!" Jacob yelled.

I finally opened my eyes and looked up to see him standing at the end of the bed with his arms crossed and fire in his eyes. My whole body was filled with a feeling that was becoming all too familiar to me.

Fear.

"What do you want me to say, Jacob? I can't help my sleep talking." I tried to keep my voice steady. "You know it's not true. You're the one I want to be with."

_I'm so sorry,_ I thought.

I always apologized to _him_ every time I told Jacob that I loved him. I saw Jacob psychically relax as he came over and sat down on the bed in front of me. He took my hands in his and a shiver went through me. Jacob must have felt it, and started to rub his hands up and down the sides of my arms.

"Are you cold, sweetie?" His voice almost sounded nice.

I shrugged my shoulders. I couldn't tell him that the reason I was feeling the chill was because he was touching me. I felt him start to lean in towards me and saw the small smile that played on his face. Bile started to rise in my throat as I recognized that smile.

"Want me to warm you up?" he whispered in what he thought was a seductive way. In reality, it was gross and disgusting.

I put my hand on his chest to stop him from moving any closer. The look in his eyes was deathly.

"Jacob, I just woke up," I mumbled. "Morning breath."

His smile returned, and he started to move again. "I don't care about that, baby, you know that."

I closed my eyes as I felt his lips meet mine and forced my lips to respond. Jacob had been very hands on the past five weeks, always wanting a kiss, always wanting to touch me or hold me. Sometimes I was forced to endure hours of his kissing and groping while the entire time, all I could think about was _him_. When Jacob was done, I would immediately run to the bathroom and scrub myself clean. I usually spent close to two hours in the shower, scrubbing every inch of skin that he had touched until it was raw, while I cried my eyes out the entire time. Luckily, he hadn't tried to take it any further than kisses and a few slight touches. I didn't know how I would react to that. There was no way I was losing my virginity to him, I'd rather die first.

I heard Jacob moan into my mouth as he started to push his body onto mine. I put both of my hands on his chest and pushed.

"Jacob, please. I just woke up. I'm still a little out of it, and I have to go to the bathroom." He swallowed and moved back to sit away from me.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. You're just so beautiful," he said with a smile.

I forced a smile, even though I wanted to vomit. He had started using pet names a couple days after he had taken me, and I wanted to scream every time he said them. I hated pet names. Sweetie, baby, honey. They all made me sick, especially coming from him. I moved off of the bed, grabbing the new toiletry bag that he had bought for me and made my way to the bathroom.

"I'm taking you out tonight."

I turned to look at him, confused. He never took me out. We always stayed inside and watched TV in whichever broken down hotel room we were staying in. Now it was the _Motel 8 _located just outside of Canada. We had been here for a week and I hated it. I hated every place we went to. They were always so dark and disgusting, and most of them probably hadn't been cleaned for months.

"You're taking me out? Where?" I asked with confusion.

Jacob smiled and stood up. He walked over to me and cupped my face in his hand. "Out on the town, babe. I want to show my girl a good time."

"But what about…." I trailed off. I couldn't bring myself to say any of their names.

Jacob's eyes turned dark for a half a second before switching back. "Bella, it's been a month and a half. Nobody is coming for us. They know we are together and in love, there is no reason for them to come."

Panic trembled throughout my body. Was he right? I hadn't realized that it had been _that_ long. Did they realize it was a lost cause and gave up? My heart broke as flashes of spending a lifetime with Jacob came to my eyes.

Jacob gave me a kiss on the lips and said, "Now, go get ready so we can get some breakfast."

I nodded and made my way to the bathroom. I closed the door and leaned against it as I finally let a tear slip from my eyes. I slowly slid to the ground as I started to shed even more tears. How much longer could I survive this? Because right at that moment, I felt like I couldn't survive another second.

* * *

I walked through the door of the hotel room. I was like a zombie. My mind was completely shut down and blank. I could barely hear Jacob as he went on and on about what a good night we had just had and how he was so happy that we could go out and have a good time. I heard him close the door behind us and felt him wrap his arms around my waist. I stood as still as a stone. I remembered mumbling to him about taking a shower and moving to the bathroom. Closing the door behind me, I turned around to look at myself in the mirror. My hair was curled and my face was coated in makeup: black eye shadow, black eyeliner, and red lipstick. Jacob said that the makeup made me even more beautiful, but I thought it made me look like a hooker. I never knew how to do my makeup properly and the proof was right in front of me. I looked down at my outfit and cringed. The outfit consisted of a black tank top with a black leather mini skirt and cherry red stiletto heels. Jacob had bought it, stating that I would look 'sexy as hell' in it.

As soon as I had put it on, I felt naked. Jacob took us out to a night club to dance. He wanted me to have a good time. It was as if the Jacob I used to know was completely gone. I hated dancing, everyone knew that. I couldn't dance. Yet tonight, I was forced to. Forced to have him grope me in public and press his evident arousal against me. I gagged at the memory and it made it's way back to me, but stopped when I realized that wasn't the worst part of the night. It wasn't the part that made me completely shut down and force my body into auto pilot.

* * *

_I moved my hips awkwardly to the beat of the music. I probably looked like a complete fool. Jacob was behind me, moving his hands up and down my thighs as he grinded against me. _

"_You have no idea how hot you look tonight, babe," he whispered into my ear. _

_I didn't respond, I just continued to move, hoping that this night was almost over. After a couple of minutes, I heard Jacob growl, then he moved to stand in front of me. I stopped moving and looked up at him, confused. _

"_What's the matter?" I asked loudly, so that he could hear me over the music. _

"_That guy over there keeps looking at you. I'm going to show him who you belong to!" _

_Before I could respond, Jacob kissed me with a bruising force, and shoved his tongue down my throat. I gagged as his tongue moved around my mouth and I tried to push him off. I felt his hands move their way down my body and gripped my ass tightly. I squealed out in surprise, which caused Jacob to moan. He finally pulled away from my mouth and moved down to my neck. Before I could even register what was happening, I cried out in pain as I felt him bite on my neck, hard. He retracted his teeth, licked, and kissed the spot that was now pulsing with pain. _

"_Now everyone will know that you belong to me," he whispered into my ear. _

* * *

I moved my hair that was covering the right side of my neck and looked at the ugly black and blue mark that now covered a good part of my neck. It was so disgusting and I could see the teeth marks from his teeth under the bruised skin. My fingers ghosted over the mark, and I felt sick to my stomach. I quickly filled the plastic cup on the sink with water and took a sip of it. I didn't swallow it all down. For some reason, the muscles in my throat refused to work. I looked back into the mirror at myself, and suddenly I knew why. I was disgusted with myself. This was no one's fault but my own. I looked at my makeup covered face, and I couldn't stand the sight before me. Before I even realized what I was doing, I spat the water that was in my mouth out at the reflection in the mirror. As I watched the water run down the mirror, my face turned hard. I didn't want to look at the girl in the reflection anymore. I couldn't. I threw the cup into the sink and turned towards the tub to start the shower.

* * *

**Second Attempt **

My heart was pounding in my chest.

_Was this actually happening? _

When I got out of the shower and came back into the room, Jacob was sleeping. No, Jacob was passed out. He was snoring so loudly that I didn't know how he could have slept through it. That's when it hit me. I didn't know how I got out of the room or how I made it two blocks, but I ran as fast as I could until I spotted the pay phone. I refused to ask anyone for help. Flashes of the waiter came to my mind and guilt filled my system. I tried to catch my breath as I picked up the pay phone.

"Oh, thank god," I mumbled when I realized that it worked.

I started to quickly dial _his_ number. My hands were shaking so much; I had to redial four times.

"Please deposit 50 cents for next three minutes."

"Shit!" I screamed as I hung up the phone. I didn't have any change. I didn't even have any shoes on. I had run out as soon as the opportunity had presented itself, and I didn't look back. I leaned my head afainst the phone as I continued to grip it with my right hand. I was panting. Suddenly, my eyes flew open, and I realized what I could do.

"I don't have any change. The number is (254) 333-01…"

Before I could finish, the phone started to ring. I yanked the phone off the cradle and put it to my ear.

"Edward?!"

"Bella! Love, thank god! Are you ok? Where are you?"

His voice was just as beautiful as I had remembered it. I let out a breath as tears came running down my face, and I closed my eyes.

"Edward, oh god…" I was crying so hard, I could barely breathe, let alone talk.

"Love, breathe, please, you have to tell me where you are."

I shook my head and looked around. "I don't know. We're somewhere outside of Canada. The Motel 8 on Route 9 is all I know. Edward, please…" My voice was starting to choke up again. I wanted to explain to him that it was a lie, that I loved him, not Jacob. I heard something on the other end of the phone that I couldn't quite make out what it was.

"Bella, I love you!" I heard him choke out, and my body hummed with joy. "I will find you. I promise!"

I licked my lips as a small smile came to my face, "Edward, I lo…"

"BELLA!"

I jumped back and turned around to see a very angry Jacob standing there with his fists clenched and his body shaking. I moved the phone from my ear down to my chest.

"Jacob, please..."

He yanked the phone out of my hand and ripped it completely out of the stand, breaking the metal cord. My chin quivered as he stood there, convulsing with rage and staring down at me. For the first time ever, I was scared for my life.


	8. Chapter 7

**I sadly own nothing of the Twiight universe :(**

* * *

**EPOV**

I sat against a tree, not moving. I could hear Sam, Seth, and Leah, along with the rest of my family, hunting and tracking their food, making sure it didn't escape. The monster inside of me screamed to join them. My thirst was almost excruciating, but I didn't care. I was hollow. Empty. No amount of psychical pain on earth could hurt worse than what I was feeling now. The visions of Bella today were heartbreaking. Of course, joy passed through me to see that she was, in fact, alright, but what little joy I had left when I saw the tears running down her beautiful face. She wasn't herself anymore. Every time Alice caught a glimpse of her, she was different. She wasn't my Bella anymore, she was broken.

"_Why are you doing this?"_

A wave of calmness filled my senses and I smiled as I heard her beautiful voice. Lately, it seemed that the only thing that kept me from completely losing it was her voice, which wasn't even real. _How's that for irony?_

"It's the only way I can be with you," I whispered into the darkness.

"_You're only hurting yourself by doing this. Please, stop. For me."_

I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my jaw. Why was my own hallucination begging me to make it go away?

"I can't."

I heard footsteps moving closer and I let out a slight growl. She always left when others were around.

_Growl at me again and I will kick your ass._

I let out an annoyed breath and waited for my sister to show herself.

I smelled the creature before I heard it drop onto the ground in front of me. I turned my head slightly and saw the dead deer lying at my feet. Venom pooled in my mouth as the smell of its blood reached me. The monster screamed for me to sink my teeth into its neck, but I didn't waver. I wouldn't. Couldn't.

"You need to eat. Sitting around moping and not eating isn't helping anyone," Rosalie said in an annoyed tone.

"Get away from me," I barked out.

I heard her shake her head and let out a breath. "Your wallowing in self pity crap may work on everyone else in this family, but it doesn't work on me. You need to stop acting like an emo freak and start making yourself healthy."

I looked up at her and growled again. She raised her eyebrow at me and gave me a string of curses through her thoughts.

"You really think Bella would want you to do this to yourself? She's not going to want to come back to a blood thirsty boyfriend who can hardly move."

The sound of her name caused me to jump up and let out a hiss.

_Watch it bro_, I heard Emmett warn with his thoughts from wherever he was.

"I'm not scared of you, Edward. So stop trying to act tough. You can barely move right now, let alone fight."

"What do you know about what Bella wants, huh?" I spat. "You hate her."

Rosalie's eyes turned soft for a second. "I don't hate her, Edward. You know that. We're not the best of friends, but I do know her well enough to know that if she knew what you were doing to yourself right now, her being gone or not, she would find a way to kick your ass."

I let out a huff and rolled my eyes. She was right, but I didn't care. I wouldn't hunt, wouldn't feed, until Bella was safe in my arms again.

"You don't think we know what's going on? They all might be too scared to mention it to you, but I'm not!" Rosalie barked.

I heard my family protest in the distance as I stared at the ground.

"We know why you're not eating. You're hearing her voice, we hear you talk to her! It's not her Edward, she's not really here. It's your mind playing tricks on you because you're not eating!"

My jaw locked. I felt the wind blow against my face as I kept my eyes on the ground, too ashamed to look up at my sister. I had come to the realization weeks ago that the hallucinations came more frequently when I was thirsty. It wasn't something I was proud of, but I craved her.

"This isn't helping! You're not trying your best! Maybe you don't really want to find Bella after all!"

Anger filled me as my eyes snapped up towards her, and the only thing I could think of doing was to attack. I shot towards her with my fist pulled back, but before I could make contact, I was flying through the air and I felt my body slam against a tree. I looked up to see Emmett crouching in front of his mate with his arms held at his side, daring me to try something again.

"You crossed the line, Edward," he said to me, his words filled with anger.

I stood up and yelled, "She crossed it first! Did you hear what she said to me?"

"She didn't say anything that wasn't true!" he yelled back.

I growled and crouched back prepared to attack again. How could they think I didn't want to find Bella? Did they truly believe that?

"Emmett, back off!" Rosalie yelled as she walked around my brother only to be stopped when he grabbed her wrist. "Edward, seriously, grow up! You want Bella back? Then do what you have to to get her back."

I listened to her yell at me as I stood up fully; my body was still tense with rage.

"Don't you think I am?" I asked through clenched teeth.

Rosalie shook her head. "No, I don't. I think you should be hunting, feeding yourself as much as possible and building your strength. Edward, you have the power to read minds and find out what people either don't want you to know, or can't remember themselves. Use it! We can't do all of this work for you anymore! Because when we do find her - and yes, dumbass, we will - You think he's just going to hand her over?"

I listened to the words she was saying and the tension started to slowly ease from my body. Some of what she said actually made sense. Because I had been starving myself, my ability to read minds had almost been none existent. Not that I couldn't hear them, I just refused to. I didn't want anything to distract me when her beautiful voice filled my mind.

"That filthy mutt," she began with malice, causing Leah to huff in the distance, "is going to fight hard and fast to keep her, and if you're weak and thirsty, then you might as well let him keep her."

I suddenly felt extremely weak. Rosalie was right. Making myself weaker and punishing myself was not going to help anything and could ultimately be the thing that kept Bella away from me. But if I ate, then her voice would go away. And right now, that was the only thing keeping me going. But that was all it was, a voice. I could have the real Bella with me, all I had to do was keep searching, and soon, she would be with me. Deep down, I knew that. I looked at my sister with sorrow because I couldn't form the words in my throat. I watched as she slowly pulled her wrist from Emmett's, telling him it was going to be ok, and walked towards me. I let out a tiny sob as she puts her hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes.

"Edward, you're my brother, and I'm truly sorry for what you're going through. But you need to wake up. Bella needs you."

_Bella needs me_.

And those were the words that brought me back to life. I had a new sense of hope. I was a new person. I ached still, and the hollowness still filled my senses, but I was determined. Determined to find my love and bring her back to me.

* * *

The monster inside of me screamed with pleasure as the blood ran down my throat. I had never been a fan of deer, but at that moment, it was the sweetest blood I'd ever tasted. I yanked it close to me as the last few drops flowed into my mouth, and couldn't help the grunt that escaped my throat. When I was done, I pushed the dead animal into the hole in the ground and stood up. My body felt better then it had in weeks. I looked up at the sky and saw the moon. It was late. Since my thirst was so heavy, I had to hunt twice as long as normal. Rosalie was right, the blood made me feel so much stronger, and that strength was helping me move forward.

I turned as I felt a hand clap down on my back. "Welcome back, bro."

I looked at Emmett and gave him a little smile. I watched as he pulled his hand away and looked to the ground. His thoughts were going over what happened between us and he wanted to apologize.

"Don't worry about it," I said before he could speak. "I was out of line."

We started to walk back towards our family. It was time to try and find out what direction Jacob had taken Bella.

Emmett nodded his head and looked to the ground. "Still," he began. "I shouldn't have thrown you like that."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I deserved it."

"You know she only did it because she cares about you."

I nodded.

"And Bella, too, even though Rose acts like a bitch towards her most of the time." Emmett whispered.

"I heard that," Rosalie called out from her spot back at the cars.

My brother and I laughed as we walked at a human pace back to the car.

"I know she does. It's what I needed, so I'm happy she did it. I owe her."

Emmett let out a belly laugh and shook his head. "Oh man you shouldn't have said that!"

We both laughed as we started to run back to the car. We joined our family, as well as, Sam, Seth, and Leah half a second later on the side of an abandoned highway.

"Ok, Charlie, we'll call you later. Try to get some sleep." I heard Carlisle say into the phone before he hung up.

I listened to the conversation he just had as he went over it in his mind. Charlie was worried, which wasn't a surprise. He wanted to come with us to look for her but we had to explain to him that no one could know about what happened. If they did, it would put our secret in danger and who ever we knew in danger. Also, Renee still didn't know about what happened to her daughter, and if she called, she would find out if Charlie wasn't there. After a long discussion, Charlie decided that it would be best if she didn't know anything. Renee was always better when she was kept in the dark about things. So, Charlie stayed behind with Billy and kept up the pretense that Bella and I were vacationing with my family in Alaska. I remembered the look in his eyes and the thoughts that were going through his head when we left.

"_Bring her back to me, Edward," Charlie begged as visions of a younger Bella flashed through his mind. Visions of her in pigtails running towards him with a large smile on her face. "She's my whole world," he whispered with tears in his eyes._

I promised him I would, and I had full intentions of keeping that promise.

"It's good to see you healthy again," Esme whispered to me as she wrapped her arms around me for a hug.

I relaxed in her arms and hugged her back. "Thanks, Mom."

She pulled away, cupped my face in her hand, and placed a small kiss on my cheek.

_Don't worry me like that again_, she pleaded with her thoughts.

I looked her in the eyes and nodded. "I promise."

Esme gave me another smile before she moved towards my father, who was now talking to Sam and the two younger wolves. It was then I noticed someone was singing in their thoughts. I looked over at Alice and saw she was looking everywhere but at me.

"Alice" I warned as I walked up to her.

"Edward, we just got you back, please! You don't need to see it!"

I started to panic. She was keeping something from me she didn't want me to see. Was Bella hurt? Dead? Did he do something to her?

I felt Jasper's hand on my back before the calmness coursed through out me.

"There's no need to panic, she's not harmed," Jasper whispered.

I let out a sigh of relief. But if she wasn't harmed then why were they keeping the vision from me?

"Then why won't you let me see?"

"Edward," Alice began. "It's not good. She's not hurt, but, she's.. she's upset. Extremely. And mostly at herself."

I started to shake my head. "She has no reason to.."

Alice nodded and said, "I know. But you know Bella, always placing the blame on herself. Just, please, try to be happy she's alive."

I looked at Alice who was pleading me with her eyes. I searched her mind only to find she was still blocking me. I let out a sigh and nodded. After a few seconds, Alice let out a sigh and opened her thoughts. I was immediately surrounded by the vision of Bella my sister had earlier. She was standing in a bathroom covered in dark make-up and very unflattering clothes. I watched as she moved her hair away to show an ugly bite mark on the side of her neck. I let out a loud growl when I realized what it was. That sick pup had given her a hickey. I almost lost it right there, but then I saw when she didn't want me to see. Bella spit the water out of her mouth onto her own reflection. I could feel the darkness slowly creep its way back into my system.

I felt a hand on my arm and looked to see Alice had moved to me. "Edward, she's alright. Just remember that."

I closed my eyes and tried to remember that as Alice explained to Rosalie and Emmett what she had seen. It was Rosalie's thoughts that made me want to vomit.

"You don't think he's…" Rosalie choked out. She couldn't even finish the sentence. Flashes of her attack came to her mind and she started to tremble. Emmett was holding her in his arms as she started to sob tearlessly.

"I think if he were," Jasper began as he was trying to control the feelings around him, "then she would look a lot worse than she does now."

Alice nodded her head in agreement, and that was the only thing that kept me from losing it. Jasper was right. Bella and I had a discussion about rape, after she heard Rosalie's story. She would act differently. Right now, she looked broken, but fixable.

"Emmett, maybe we should.." I stopped when I heard Alice gasp and stare off into the night.

I watched as Alice's vision filled my eyes. Bella was running full speed down a darkened street. She was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and was barefoot, but that didn't stop her. She was running as fast as she could. I watched as ran to a pay phone. My breath caught in my throat as she picked up the phone, mumble thanks, and began dialing.

"My phone! Where's my phone?" I all but yelled out.

Someone handed it to me as I continued to watch Alice's vision with a sense of hope. She was away from him. Somehow, Bella got away from Jacob and was able to get to a phone.

I watched as she cursed and hung up the phone. Why was she doing that?

"Come on, love," I whispered to myself.

Bella suddenly jumped up and started to speak.

"_I don't have any change. The number is (254) 333-0176"_

I don't think I dialed a number any quicker in my entire life. It didn't even ring fully before it was picked up.

"Edward?!"

"Bella! Love, thank God!" I cried out, causing everyone to rush to my side. "Are you ok? Where are you?"

"Edward, oh God…"

I could hear her crying and choking as she tried to talk.

"Love, breathe," I reminded her. She took in a breath and I closed my eyes and smiled. "Please, you have to tell me where you are"

I heard her move around and say, "I don't know. We're somewhere outside of Canada. The Motel 8 on Route 9 is all I know. Edward, please…"

I choked back a sob as I heard her voice break. Her voice was so beautiful and it made me realize just how much I missed her.

"Edward, she's gone! He's there!" Alice cried out

I began to panic. We still didn't know exactly where she was and now I only had seconds left. I did the only thing I could think of.

"Bella, I love you!" I choked out quickly. "I will find you! I promise!"

"Edward, I lo-"

"BELLA!"

I squeezed the phone as I heard Jacob scream in the back round. I listened as she moved the phone away from her ear and my whole body stopped moving as I heard it. It was faint and low, but I heard it just the same. Her heartbeat was sounding through the phone and though it was going a mile a minute, it was music to my ears.

"Jake, please.." I heard her plead with him before the phone line went dead.

I slowly removed the phone from my ear and stared off as my family began asking questions. I ignored them all and moved to my sister. I grabbed her shoulders and looked at her with pleading eyes. Jasper moved to grab me but stopped when he heard Alice whisper.

"Jasper, it's ok. He's not going to hurt me."

I wasn't. I didn't even think about it. I was begging her.

"Edward, I can't see him. You know that."

"Alice, please," I choked out. "Look for something. Anything in the future, see if she's still alive. Please." I couldn't think straight. If Jacob harmed Bella in anyway, I wouldn't know what to do.

I watched as my sister searched the future. It was all black. Nothing was coming up. I let go of her arms and looked down as a sob escaped my throat. It was a lost cause. Alice couldn't see Jacob, so she couldn't see what he would do to her.

"Wait!" Alice gasped as she grabbed my arms.

That instant I was filled with a vision of Bella sitting on the floor of what I assume was their hotel room. She was tied at the wrists to an old radiator and yanking hard on her restraints. Tears were coming down her face as she yanked and pulled, causing the skin on her wrists to become red and raw. After a couple of minutes of yanking at them, she pulled back hard, using all of her strength. She finally gave up and slouched forward. Her breathing was erratic and her tears where unending. I watched with a broken heart as she put her head in her hands and cried. The vision ended and I looked up at my sister.

"She's alive, Edward, and she gave us a lead." Alice reassured me.

I nodded my head. She was right. We now had a lead, even though Jacob and Bella would be long gone by the time we got there, we still had a lead. And I was going to do everything in my power to try and find out where they were going next.


	9. Chapter 8

**once again, i own nothing of the Twilight universe :(**

* * *

**BPOV**

I yanked on my restraints as hard as I could, but they wouldn't budge. The rope was cutting into my skin, yet I didn't care. I had to get out of here. My strength finally gave up on me, and I fell forward from exhaustion. I was so close. I should of kept running. I put my head into my hands and started to cry. Edward's voice rang throughout my head. I missed him so much and hearing his voice was the happiest I had been in a month and a half. It was what I needed to keep myself fighting.

My head shot up as the hotel room door slammed open. Jacob came charging into the room without a word. I watched as he yanked the suitcase out from under the bed and started to throw things into it. His body was still shaking with anger. I pulled myself up and sat on my knees.

"Jacob, please," I whispered.

He continued to throw stuff into the suitcase, without saying a word. I decided to try again.

"Jacob, you can't keep me like this," I choked out.

He turned to me and let out a bitter laugh. "Keep you? Keep you?" he yelled. "I wasn't trying to _keep_ you, Bella! I was _trying_ to start our life together! I thought you understood that! You belong with ME! Not _him_! Why are you trying to run away from me?"

Tears ran down my face and I flinched as his voice continued to rise.

"It's all a lie, isn't it? I mean NOTHING to you!" Jacob yelled as he stomped over to me.

I cried out as he knelt down and grabbed my arms with a bruising force and started yelling in my face.

"Tell me it's not a lie! Tell me you love me!" He shook my body between every word as the tears continued to pour.

I tried to force an answer out, but I couldn't. I was done trying to force anything out.

"Jacob, I'm sor.." Before I could finish, I felt the pain register on the left side of my face and I collapsed to the ground. He had slapped me hard; I could already feel the bruise starting to form, and the blood from the cut it made on my lip. My hand shot up to my cheek as I looked up at Jacob in horror.

He stood there for a couple seconds, breathing heavily before he shook his head and went back to packing the suitcase. "You're going to make me start a war, Bella. But I guess that's what you want. I called Sam while I was in the office; he's waiting for the go ahead."

It took me a whole three minutes to comprehend what he was saying, and when it did, my eyes went wide and I started to panic.

"Jacob, please don't! I'll stay, I won't do this anymore, I promise!" I begged.

It hurt to move my jaw. The stinging was almost unbearable, but I had to. I couldn't let the wolves attack the family that I now considered my own.

He let out another sadistic laugh before nodding his head. "I know you won't. I'll make sure of it."

And deep down, that's what scared me the most.

* * *

It had been two weeks since my failed attempt to escape, and things were worse then ever. Jacob barely ever let me out of his sight, and when he did, I had to be tied down. We only stayed at a place for a night or two at a time, and I was never allowed outside. He didn't hold me at night anymore, which was refreshing, but when I awoke in the morning, he would yank me off the bed and push me around until I was dressed and ready for the day. Though, he hadn't hit me again, he did become a lot more physical. Constantly pushing me, pulling me. I had bruises all over my body. He was also putting me down a lot more.

Two days ago, he walked into the bathroom without bothering to knock; I was just getting out of the shower and was in a towel. He looked at me with pure disgust and said, "Look at you, covered in bruises. It's sick. No one would ever want you looking like that." He hadn't spoken to me since then.

I sat with my back against the wall and looked down at my hands , which were tied to the bathroom sink. Jacob had been gone for almost an hour and my legs were starting to fall asleep. On my left hand was the engagement ring _he_ had given me. It was turned over, facing my palm. I turned it like that a few days after being taken in hopes that Jacob wouldn't see it. I would always try to make sure he never felt it, and when I had to touch him, I always used my right hand. I had been lucky that he never noticed. I looked at the ring that I was once so against wearing, but now, it was a lifeline for me; a reminder of a life that was full of love and happiness. A life that I was missing with every fiber of my being. I blinked back tears as I heard the hotel door shut. I let out sigh, wiped my eyes, and made sure the ring was hidden. If something happened to that ring, I would never forgive myself. It was ten minutes before I heard the doorknob turn and Jacob popped his head into the room.

"Hi, sweetie," he said softly.

I swallowed hard. The 'nice' voice was back.

He pushed the door open and sat down in front of me with his right arm behind his back. I stayed silent and waited for him to continue.

"I think it's time we make up. It's been two weeks and I miss you," he stated as he grabbed my hands with his left hand. I was still skeptical about what he was holding behind his back.

"I'm right here, Jacob," I said with a little more malice then I intended.

Jacob's hand tightened on mine, and I flinched. He loosened his grip and let out a huff.

"No you're not. Not really. Bella, it's only been two months. I know that seems long, but it's not. You should give it more time. We could be so happy together."

I bit my lip and looked down. A minute later, a yellow daisy came into view. I looked up at Jacob, who had a sheepish look on his face as he held the flower out to me. "I know you hate roses, so that's why I got you a daisy."

Actually, I hated daisies, roses were ok. Lilies were my favorite. I took the flower out of his hand and examined it.

"Look, baby, I understand it can be hard for you. I know that it's going to take time, but I know you will soon see that we're meant for each other. We love each other, right?"

Tears came to my eyes, and memories of the love I once felt for him came to me. I use to be in love with Jake, my Jake. Not Jacob. And my Jake was long gone.

"Bella?" His tone was forceful.

I snapped out of my thoughts and nodded. I couldn't speak.

"Good. Now, I want to be able to leave you by yourself. I don't want to have to tie you up all the time. Do you know how much it hurts me to do that to you?"

I still didn't answer. It hurt him to do this to me? I was the one slowly losing my mind.

"But how can I trust you, Bella? I don't want to make threats, but it seems to be the only way you'll listen. I've just spoken with Sam. He's been staying with your father. Did you know Edward isn't even looking for you?"

My head shot up. That wasn't true. It couldn't be.

"He knows we're in love and knows you want to be with me. Sam says they haven't even left Forks at all."

My mind was going every where. Then why did he sound that way on the phone? If he believed I was with Jacob, why did he tell me that he loved me on the phone?

"Paul and Embry are watching them now. I'll know if you try to contact them, so it would be wise not to do it."

I forced the lump down my throat, as a lonely tear rolled down my face.

"But you won't do that will you, sweetie?"

I looked Jacob in the eye and felt like my whole world was being torn apart from me. I slowly shook my head back and forth as a small smile formed on his lips.

"From this day on, Bella, we're going to be so happy."

Before I could realize anything else was happening, Jacob was leaning towards me. The bile that rose up in my throat almost caused me to gag before his lips touched mine. I heard him moan into my mouth as he moved forward, and a little part of me died inside.

* * *

**Last Attempt - August**

I let the water race down my back as I stared at the tile walls. The water was hot now. Hotter then I'd ever had it before, but it didn't matter, nothing mattered anymore. The past two months I had been living in my own personal hell and it seemed heat was all around me.

_Heat._

I shivered despite the hot water. How I used to love and miss the heat. Now, all it did was bring me pain.

I looked down at my naked body and almost gagged. He was right. Who would want me when I looked like this?

No one.

No one but him.

Bones were clearly visible through my skin with bruises and cuts running up and down my arms and legs. I had been clumsier in the past two months than I had been my entire life. But pain was nothing new to me. I was living in my own personal hell, going through the motions every day just to please him.

I shivered again. How could something like this happen? How could I _let _something like this happen? Silent tears fell down my face and my mind went through flashes of memories to try and understand it all. I squeezed my eyes shut when I saw a flash of pale white skin.

_No, _I told myself. I couldn't think of him now. It would only make it worse. But the images continued to come: our meadow, school, his piano, my room.

I brought my hands up to cover my mouth to try and conceal the sob that I couldn't contain. I remembered the last time I saw him, the kiss we shared, though at the time seemed like any normal kiss, now held so much more for me. It was our last kiss. More sobs came that I tried to contain. If he heard me crying it would make things that much worse, because he would know I was crying over of _him_. So**,** I choked back the tears and the sobs as I let my mind take me into another direction but bringing up those memories only brought up the others; his family, Alice. I missed her so much. She was my best friend. Chills ran down my spine when I thought of that word. Obviously I had taken that word lightly with people. Alice must have been going out of her mind. They all must be, especially him. I couldn't even bring myself to think his name let alone say it. I missed him more than anything on earth. I missed him more now than I did when he left me. And that probably was because now we were separated by force. I prayed he didn't believe the lies that were left when I was taken. That his mind wasn't as gullible as mine once was, and deep down, I knew I was right. He knows my love for him and that was the only thing that was keeping me going.

But what about everyone else? What would everyone say? I covered another sob as I thought about Charlie. He was probably going crazy too, or maybe he believed the lies. I wanted to call him so badly, but I couldn't.

"_They are watching him. I'll know if you try to contact him"_

I wiped the tears and water from my eyes then braced my hands on the tile walls. It was times like these when I was truly confused. Part of my mind was screaming at me for being here, for putting myself in this situation at all, for me to do something about it. But the other part, which sounded an awful lot like his voice, was telling me that this was where I belonged: with him. I would learn to love it. It had only been two months. I should give it more time, because no one was coming for me. No one loved me like he did. As my mind argued back and forth with itself, the scalding hot water turned cold. As soon as it touched my skin it was like a lightening bolt went through me. I couldn't do this anymore. For two months I had been locked here: kept prisoner by someone I cared about. Not allowed to move, and not allowed to think without him right there. He used to keep me alive, but now, he was killing me.

I quickly shut off the water and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around myself as I stepped out of the shower. I crept toward the bathroom door and put my ear to it. I didn't hear a thing. My heart rate started to race. He was still out. I was permitted to be left alone now on account that he knew I understood his threats, and would never put anyone I loved in danger. My feeble attempts to contact my loved ones in the past had gone down in flames. I was no longer allowed near a phone, a piece of paper, a pen, or anything I could write or make contact with. After what happened on my last attempt to contact them, he knows now I'll never do it again. So he could leave. But only for a short while. He couldn't stand to be away from me for that long. He loved me too much.

Another shiver went down my spine as I thought of what his idea of love was. Fear started to sore through my body.

_Stop Bella_, I told myself.

Bringing those thoughts to the surface would never help me. I had to get this done before I lost the strength to do it, but how?

I was alone, so this was one of the only times Alice could see me. How could I get a message to her? Just talk? What if I didn't have time and she couldn't understand it for some reason? I needed to write it down so that she could see it. I looked around the bathroom frantically, trying to find something to write with. That's when the mirror caught my eye. It was covered in fog. My eyes went wide with the realization that with the fog I could write on the mirror with my finger.

I raced over to the sink and braced my hands on each side of it. I breathed in and out slowly, praying that this would work. Why hadn't I thought of this before? It was so simple. But I had to hurry. I concentrated on her: her short black hair, her tiny frame and her beautiful white skin. I remembered everything about her, hoping it would help with what I was about to do, but mostly I remembered how much I missed her.

I hesitated for a second as a fearful thought came to my mind. Would he know I did this? Could there be some way that he could tell? And what would be the punishment for trying this? I bit my bottom lip trying to make the decision. A slight pain went through my lip and I stopped. I had forgotten. And that forgotten memory made up my mind. With one final breath I looked up into the mirror. I lifted my right hand, which was shaking with either fear or excitement: I don't know which.

Slowly, I began to write out largely the letters of her name.

**A-L-I-C-E**

I waited a second after I wrote it then wiped it clean to reveal my own face in the mirror. I took one last deep breath, looked at my own reflection and started to speak.

"Alice, I need your help."

I looked behind me one last time before looking back at the mirror.

"To be honest, I don't even know if you can see this, but I have to try."

I lifted my hand, and started to write out the name of the hotel and the town we were in, on the part of the mirror still covered in steam.

**The Water House in Port Townsend.**

I started to shake my head as I said, "I don't know how long we're going to be here. We've been moving a lot over the past two weeks, but here is where we've been the longest."

My vision blurred as tears came to my eyes. I looked down at the sink before looking back up at my reflection.

"Alice, please hurry," I whispered. "I don't know how my longer I can survive this."


	10. Chapter 9

**once again, I own nothing of the Twilight universe :(**

* * *

**EPOV**

"_Are you sure it's going to be ok?" Bella whispered to me, her voice laced with concern._

_I chuckled and put my arm around her waist. "Yes, love. The pool is indoors, remember? No sun coming in. Angela will probably just think we're all really pale."_

_Bella shrugged her shoulders as we walked towards the indoor pool in my house. "We're all pale, it's not like we can sunbathe in Forks."_

_We walked into the room and I heard Bella gasp. _

"_What's the matter?" _

_Bella's mouth hung wide open for a couple seconds as she stared at the pool. Emmett and Jasper were already in the pool messing around, Alice and Angela were sitting on the edge of the pool talking, while Rosalie was lounging on a chair reading a magazine. _

"_That pool is huge!" _

_I laughed as we made our way to the chairs next to Rosalie. _

"_That's a nice swim suit, Rose," Bella said softly. _

_Rosalie's swimsuit was a black bikini with a bandeau top and a skirted mini scoop bottom. She had her long blonde hair pinned on top of her head. Rosalie looked up from her magazine, looked Bella up and down, and then mumbled, "Thanks."_

_Bella nodded then looked back towards the pool as I put her tote bag on the chair and took off my shirt, leaving me wearing nothing but my blue Ralph Lauren swim shorts. _

"_Jeeze, Bella!" Alice called from where she sat. "Just because it's an indoor pool doesn't mean you shouldn't wear beach friendly clothes!"_

_I watched Bella look down at her outfit. She was wearing a crinkled, blue, plaid button down shirt, blue, denim, knee length shorts that cuffed at the knee, and her black converse sneakers. _

"_There's nothing wrong with what I'm-" Bella began, but stopped when she looked at me. Her eyes went wide and mouth hung open. I heard her heart rate start to pick up as she looked me up and down. _

"_Hey, Bella! Make sure you wipe the drool from your mouth when you're done checking out my little brother!" Emmett yelled from the pool with a chuckle._

_Bella's eyes snapped up to mine, then that beautiful blush crept up to her cheeks as she ducked her head and looked away. I couldn't help the smile that took over my face as I watched her sit down to take her shoes off. _

That was cute_, Angela thought as she looked to us and smiled. _

_I started to walk towards my sister and Angela as I heard Bella try and start a conversation with Rosalie. Even though Rosalie was constantly rude to her, Bella still felt it was important to be nice and try to have a conversation with her because she was my family. It was one of the many things I loved about her._

"_Hello, Angela, that's a very pretty swimsuit," I said with a smile. She was wearing a one piece white bathing suit. Very modest and respectful. _

_Angela blushed then looked down. "Thank you, Edward." _

_I gave her a slight nod and sat down next to Alice._

"_And what about my suit, dear brother?" Alice asked with a smile as she sat up straighter. _

_I looked over at her and inspected her suit. It was pink bikini, with a halter top and the bottoms had ties on each hip. I had to contain my laughter as her eyes went wide, no doubt already knowing my answer._

_I gave her a slight smirk and said, "Eh, it's ok."_

_I let out a laugh as she kicked water at me and called me a 'meanie head.'_

"_Ben at work?" I asked Angela as I watched my brothers wrestle back and forth in pool. _

_But I never heard her answer, because at that moment, I looked up towards Bella and saw her taking off her clothes. It was like it was all happening in slow motion. She unbuttoned her shirt and took it off to reveal a navy blue bikini halter top with a bow in the middle of her breasts, then she unbuttoned her shorts and shimmed them down her creamy legs to reveal a matching bottom with bows on each hips. She truly was perfect._

You're killing me, Edward_, I heard Jasper say from his mind._

_My eyes snapped away from Bella and over to my brothers. I let out a slight cough, mumbled sorry, then looked down at my lap. _

Like the suit I bought her?_ I heard Alice ask through her thoughts._

_I gave Alice a little nudge with my shoulder when I heard her giggle. _

"_Hey! I have an idea!" Angela called out as she stood up and jogged towards her bag. I heard my sister squeal, jump in the pool, and swim over to her husband. I jumped into pool, went under, then came back up and smoothed my hair on my head. I looked up to see Bella standing where I had just been sitting, looking down at me with a smile._

"_Coming in, love?" I asked as she sat on the edge of the pool and put her legs in the water. I swam up to her and crossed my arms over her thighs. I watched as she bit her lip and nodded. I uncrossed my arms, put my hands on her waist and lifted her off the edge and pulled her slowly into the pool. When she was fully inside, I wrapped my arms around her waist as she put her arms around my neck, surrounding me with her warmth. Before I could say anything, I felt her warm lips connect with mine. I moaned in her mouth as I pulled her closer, trying to deepen the kiss. When I felt her tongue touch my lips, I almost lost it. The distinct sound of a camera brought me out of the fog, and I pulled away. _

"_What?" Bella asked, searching my face._

_I looked over to see Angela standing at the other end of the pool, holding her camera with a sheepish look on her face._

"_Sorry! You guys just looked so cute and I thought…" she trailed off with a shrug of her shoulders. Her thoughts were telling me she was scared we would be mad._

_I smiled at her while Bella said, "It's ok. Just make sure you give me a copy!" _

_Angela smiled and nodded._

"_Can I get a picture of you all together? I think it would be a nice picture!" Angela exclaimed. _

"_Yes you can! Rose, come here quick! And no arguing!" Alice squealed as she swam over to Bella and me, pulling Jasper with her. _

_Bella giggled at her antics while Rosalie walked down the ladder and into the pool. I felt Bella shimmy out of my embrace, move behind me, and climb on my back. I moved my hands to rest on her arms as she wrapped them around my neck, and her legs around my waist. I felt her kiss under my ear, before whispering, "I love you."_

_My whole body hummed with joy, and the smile on my face was the biggest I had ever had._

* * *

I brought myself back to reality as we walked into the office of an old run down motel. It had been close to three weeks since Bella had called, and we were closer then ever. Jacob was making mistakes. We now were almost a day behind him and moving in closer and closer. I couldn't contain my excitement. I scanned the mind of the teenager behind the counter of one of our most recent stops. He remembered seeing Bella and Jacob coming to and from the motel. They checked in and had only stayed for a day. My staring at him was making him a little uneasy, causing his eyes to shoot back and forth between Carlisle and myself. It was also making his mind get off track, which was not helping, but I needed to read every thought, every memory, to find something important. I listened as Carlisle asked him questions and watched as his mind began to fill with memories.

"Did you happen to see where they were going?" Carlisle asked in a hushed tone.

The boy shook his head, looked between Carlisle and I quickly, and answered, "No, I'm sorry."

I watched his memory of Bella and Jacob getting into a car and drive off. He made a right out of the parking lot and headed for the highway.

"Let's go," I said as I read the highway sign 76N in his mind.

I walked out of the office without bothering to wait for my father, or say goodbye, and headed towards the car. I noticed Jasper looking at me with an amused look on his face.

"What?" I asked.

"You had that kid almost wetting his pants, Edward. Try to be a little more subtle when reading someone's mind."

"We don't have time for subtle," I mumbled, and moved to talk to Sam, who was standing close to the edge of the forest next to the motel.

"He took the 76N exit, so we should head in that direction."

Sam nodded his head as his thoughts went over all the possible places they could have gone after that.

"There are a lot of places," I answered his thoughts. "But we have to try."

"Of course. We'll go on foot through the woods, since its parallel to the highway, to see if we can pick anything up."

"I'll come with you, I need the fresh air."

Sam lifted his eyebrow with a smirk on his face.

I let out a little chuckle at his thoughts and answered, "I'm sure I can keep up."

* * *

It felt good to run. And though I hated to admit it, it felt good to run with the wolves. At least with them I wasn't constantly filled with thoughts of concern and worry, and they weren't expecting that much from me. Sam's mind was always on the patrol. Tracking every scent, and finding anything that could lead us to Bella and Jacob. Leah was constantly cursing me and my family, reminding me she was only there because her brother was. And then there was Seth. Though, he did show concern for me at times, he was mostly thinking about what would happen when and if we did find Jacob. How it would all play out. I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it. Though my heart longed to just grab Bella and never let her go when that time came. My rage wanted to rip the dog to shreds for taking what was mine. Carlisle had tried to explain to me that even though I wanted to kill Jacob, Sam would never let that happen. We had to let them handle Jacob and get Bella, as far away as possible.

I made no promises.

I was jolted out of my thoughts when the most beautiful scent in the world filled my senses. I immediately stopped running, and looked around. It couldn't be.

_Do you smell that?_ Sam asked with his mind.

I stood there with the three wolves and tried to track which direction the scent was coming from. When the wind blew a second later, I took off running. The wolves were close behind me trying to catch up, but I was running too fast. That's when I saw it. Ahead on the side of the road at exit 32, was Jacob's car. My family had already made it there and were searching the car and the surrounding area.

"They're not here, Edward," Carlisle said as I stopped just in front of them.

I let out a breath of frustration and made my way over to the car. The scent was strong; they had to have left it recently.

"The battery is shot," Rosalie called from under the hood of the car. "That's probably why he left it."

I turned to see Jasper walking out of the woods with a piece of metal in his hand. "He tossed this far into the woods, probably so no one would know whose car it was."

Jasper handed me the piece of metal and I looked down to see it was the license plate to the car.

"It was pretty far back," Jasper began. "He must have really thrown it."

"He scratched the vin number off too," Emmett explained while examining the car.

Bella's scent was so strong and my heart soared. It had been too long since I had been able to smell her beautiful scent. I examined the car carefully. I had yet to speak - I wasn't sure if I could. This was a major mistake on Jacob's part. Their scent was everywhere, which meant their scent would lead us to wherever they were. I almost laughed in excitement.

I looked up as I watched Sam walk out of the woods in cut off jeans.

"Seth says he can follow their scent all the way to the town, but the woods stop, so he can't go any further."

My heart almost jumped into my chest. Could this mean we could actually find them? I looked over at my younger sister who was already searching her mind.

"I can't see. Sam you would have to wait and let us go ahead first."

I heard Leah huff from the woods, protesting with her mind.

"I don't think that would be wise," Sam stated firmly. I saw in his mind that he didn't trust what I would do to Jacob, given the chance. They still wanted Jacob to go home with them, where as I wanted him dead.

"Sam," Carlisle began as he made his way over to the pack leader. "I understand your concern, but you have to listen to us. With Alice blind, we can't know if they are going to be there or not. And if we don't form a plan on how to handle the situation, it could end with much more chaos then necessary."

Sam had his eyes locked on me and I couldn't blame him for what he was thinking.

"I can assure you, Sam, our main concern is Bella. We're not asking you to not be there at all, we're just asking you give to us a ten minute head start, so we're not completely blind. Will you please consider it?" Carlisle was almost pleading.

Sam silently weight in all the options. He knew Carlisle was right. Our major advantage right now would be Alice's vision. If Sam decided to give us a head start, and Alice had a vision, they were no longer there. But if Sam decided to give us a head start and Alice still saw black, we had them. Before Sam could give us an answer, we all heard Alice gasp a second before the vision that changed everything came to her eyes.

"Alice, what do you see?" Jasper asked.

Bella was talking into the mirror to Alice. Bella was telling us where she was! I ran over to Alice as fast as I could.

"_Alice, please hurry," Bella whispered. "I don't know how much longer I can survive this."_

I fell to my knees and let out chocked sob. My family was begging Alice to tell her what she saw as Esme and Rosalie ran to my side. We knew where she was.

I listened as Alice explained the vision to my family, then watched as Carlisle turned to Sam waiting for his answer.

Sam continued to look at me before he looked back at Carlisle. "We'll give you five minutes. I understand there may be things that happen if they are there, that are out of your control. But I'm only saying this once," Sam looked me in the eye again. "Jacob _will_ come back alive. And we _will_ intervene if we must."

I heard his threat loud and clear, with his words and his thoughts. The problem was, I didn't care. He could intervene all he wanted, it wouldn't stop me. Nothing would. Once I got my hands on Jacob, there was no telling what I would do.

Seconds later, Alice's vision went black. I snapped up and looked at her. She had the biggest smile on her face.

"I just searched for us going there! We're going to make it! Edward, we're going to get her! And now we know exactly where she is!"

I heard the rest of my family let out breaths of relief as Esme grabbed my head, kissed my temple, and hugged me. I couldn't move. All I could do was think of Bella.

I looked up at my sister and asked, "How long will it take us to get there?"

* * *

Two hours later, we were standing across the street from the Water House motel. It was a secluded motel, nothing but forest in back of it, a highway in front, and the forest in front of that, where we were now standing. We had to keep ourselves secluded; we wanted the element of surprise, and if Jacob saw or smelled us, all bets were off.

There were exactly seven guests checked in at the motel and one clerk manager, who was currently passed out in the back office. Four were otherwise occupied, while one sat alone in his room, nursing a bottle of whiskey, wondering how he was going to tell his wife about the charges being brought to him. The other two were Bella and Jacob. They were watching a movie. I could hear it clearly. Though, at that time I didn't hear her speak at all, I could hear her heart beat, and it was the most beautiful sound in the world. My family had to literally use physical force to restrain me once we reached the motel. All I wanted to do was run in and grab Bella. She was so close, yet still so far away. I vowed after this, I would never let her out of my sight again.

I listened while I paced at the forests edge, as my family tried to plan out what was going to happen. We needed to do this with as few witnesses as possible. The lonely man wasn't going to be a problem; he would be passed out in twenty minutes, leaving only the two couples and the clerk manager. Sure he was sleeping, but if something major went down, he could wake up. And with the two couples, it was hard to say. Would they stop their 'activities' to wonder what was going on outside, or would they ignore it and keep going? We all prayed for the latter of the two.

"How much longer?" I hissed as I ran my hand through my hair.

I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin if I didn't get to Bella soon. She was within reach, kind of, and I had to wait. I already waited two months; couldn't they see I had waited long enough?

"Edward, son, I understand you want to run over there, but we need a plan. Jacob will not give her up easily, and we're trying to make this as smooth as possible."

I let out a huff and continued to pace. Smooth, he said. There would be nothing smooth about it once I got through with that wretched dog.

"Give us five more minutes, Edward, please," Alice pleaded.

I ignored her and moved my attention back to the room that held the love of my existence. I slowly sorted through all the thoughts I could hear until I found _his. _They were watching some old black and white movie with horses and guns. I let out a small growl when I saw that that mongrel had his arm wrapped around Bella, not even noticing she was stiff as a board. I examined her closely through his mind. She looked so tired. The circles under her eyes proved she hadn't been sleeping, and the hollow of her cheeks proved she hadn't been eating. What did he do to my Bella?

"I'm going to the vending machine, babe. Do you want anything?" Jacob said as he got up from the couch and walked over to a bag on the floor.

Bella shook her head before turning her attention back to the TV.

I watched Jacob as he leaned down to give Bella a kiss, which she sat completely still for. I felt the hand grab my elbow before I had even registered that I was moving.

"Dude, a couple more minutes," Emmett said from my side.

I took a deep breath and nodded. He was right. I started to count down the seconds, but stopped when I saw Jacob emerge from the closed motel room. This time, both of my brothers held onto my arms, and Jasper sent small waves of calmness through me as we watched him close the door and make his way down to the end of the motel.

That's when it happened. A gust of wind came up from behind us, blowing in the direction of Jacob and the motel. I watched as he stopped in his tracks and his body became completely tense. A half a second later, he turned towards the woods, where we were located, and glared. I was almost positive he couldn't see us, but the wind did us in. It blew our scent right to him.

My family joined my side as I tried to get into his head, but there was nothing, it was completely blank. And before any of us could take a step, he ran back to the room, slammed the door behind him and the yelling started. I was already halfway across the street when I heard Alice say, "It's time."


	11. Chapter 10

**I own nothing of the Twilight universe :(**

* * *

**BPOV**

I couldn't tell you what was on the TV. My mind was going over the past two months in my head, wondering what I could have done differently, so that I wasn't in this situation. Yet everything that went through my head seemed futile and dumb. Why I even bothered with those thoughts was beyond me. But I guessed they were better than the other thoughts I was used to having. I tried to fight them, but they just kept coming.

Jacob told me that Edward wasn't coming for me. He reminded me of that every day, and part of me had started to believe it. I mean, it had been two months: they were vampires, what was taking them so long? What if Edward looked back at everything I had put him through those few months ago, and it finally sealed the deal for him? Could Edward believe that I actually loved Jacob and wanted to be with him instead? Edward had told me that he loved me when I had called him, but what if he really didn't? What if it was all in my mind?

At that moment, I felt sick to my stomach. I was suddenly regretting what I did earlier. If Alice did see my message and Jacob was right, they weren't looking for me, they could very well have been laughing at me. It could all have been one big joke to them.

_No! _

I told myself they weren't like that. They loved me just as much as I loved them, and deep down I had to believe that Edward was coming for me. In my heart, I felt it. I didn't care if it would take two months, two years, or two decades. I would believe everyday that Edward was still looking for me. Because I knew, if I stopped believing that, then I would surely end up killing myself.

I was vaguely aware that Jacob had his arm around my shoulders as he laughed at something on the TV. Couldn't he tell how stiff I was, that the slightest touch from him sent my entire body into a state of panic? His hot skin felt like fire and it made my insides boil. I yearned for the days when ice touched my skin and butterflies filled my stomach.

"I'm going to the vending machine, babe. Do you want anything?" Jacob asked as he got up from the couch and walked over to his bag on the floor.

I shook my head, then turned my attention back to the TV.

After he grabbed his wallet, he came back over to the couch, leaned down, and gave me a kiss. I sat completely still as I suppressed the urge to gag. Once he had walked out of the room, I began to roughly wipe my mouth and spit. His taste on my lips was disgusting and it was something I would never get used to, and something I would probably never forget. As I got up and made my way to the bathroom; I had to get that taste out of my mouth. The sound of the door slamming caused me to jump and turn around.

"What did you do?" Jacob yelled as he stomped towards me.

I started to shake my head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I let out a whimper of pain as he grabbed my arms and gripped them tightly.

"Yes you do! What did you do?" he yelled as he shook me back and forth, his hands becoming tighter by the second.

I started to shake my head again, but he didn't like that. His right hand left my arms and backhanded me so hard across the face; I saw white for two seconds and could taste the blood from the new cut on my lip.

"Don't you dare lie to me!"

Before I could answer, the motel door slammed open. Both Jacob and I turned to look and in that second, my heart stopped. There, in the doorway, stood a very angry looking Edward, who was crouched back, with his fists clenched and his teeth showing.

"Edward!" I screamed as I tried to run towards him, but, was stopped by Jacob. He wrapped his left arm around my waist, slammed me back into his chest, and covered my mouth with his right hand.

I let out a cry of pain as he tightened the arm around my waist and couldn't help the tear that escaped my eye.

"I will give you one minute to let her go before I tear you to shreds," Edward hissed.

I'd never heard his voice that harsh before, and oddly, it was refreshing. Jacob let out a sickening laugh as he moved his hand from my mouth down to my neck.

"You come any closer and I'll snap her neck."

I let out a whimper of fear as tears started to fall freely from my eyes. Edward let out another hiss and crouched down further. It was then, I saw his family behind him. Emmett and Jasper were on either side of him outside of the door, while Carlisle was behind them. They were all just as beautiful as I remembered them, and even more so, since I knew they were there to get me. They hadn't forgotten about me. They didn't believe the lies that Jacob had left.

"Jacob, be reasonable. You're out numbered. Sam, Seth and Leah will be here in minutes. Hand Bella over," I heard Carlisle say from outside the door. I started to panic. Why were they coming? Were the Cullens going to have to fight them, too?

"No, they wouldn't do that. They are _my_ pack!" Jacob shouted.

"Jacob, you can smell them on us, they are trying to help. You're sick. You need to let Bella go. Sam will take you to get help."

I couldn't believe my ears. All this time, I believed that the pack was helping Jacob, watching over the Cullens to make sure that they wouldn't come for me. But in reality, they were helping the Cullens. I squeezed my eyes shut as my chin quivered, how could I have been so stupid? I knew those boys. Even though Jacob was one of them, how could I have believed that they would condone something this crazy?

"Get out of here! All of you! She's mine and she belongs with me! We love each other!" Jacob yelled in desperation as he held me closer to his chest.

I opened my eyes and looked at Edward. His eyes were set solely on Jacob. It was then I realized that Edward hadn't looked at me once since he showed up. His eyes stayed on Jacob the entire time and I wanted to scream. I needed him to look at me just once, I needed to see the love that I always saw only in his eyes, I needed to know it was going to be ok, that he would make it ok. My vision was blurred from tears as I stared at Edward, while the yelling continued around me.

"Jacob, let her go! Can't you see what you've done to her?" Carlisle pleaded.

Edward still wasn't looking at me, and I had all but given up hope. As I moved my eyes to look at the floor, it was then I saw it. Jasper and Emmett each had a hold on both of Edward's wrists, trying to hold him back. I couldn't see the movement, but I could tell there was a struggle.

"Tell them, Bella! Tell them you love me and want to be with me!" Jacob shouted.

I started to struggle in Jacob's arms, which only caused him to hold me tighter. My body would be completely black and blue after this, but I didn't care.

"No! Jacob, let me go, please!" I cried out as I continued to struggle.

"Thirty seconds," Edward hissed as he crouched back further.

"Stop doing that!" Jacob screamed.

I continued to struggle as I felt his grip start to loosen. I could move more freely, and for a second, I thought he was going to let me go. But I stopped struggling when I felt Jacob's body shake with rage and his breathing become erratic. He was about to phase. I was scared to death. If he phased with me in his arms, there was no way I would survive it. I looked at Edward one last time, begging him to read my thoughts and look at me just once. I let out a gasp when I saw that _his_ eyes were finally connected to mine. I couldn't stop the tears, and I hated them for making my vision less than perfect.

His eyes were black with rage, but I could still see all the love that he held for me. I knew right then, that he would do anything to get me back to him.

"Ten," Edward warned as I watched Emmett and Jasper break their hold from his wrists.

I felt Jacob continue to shake, but my eyes never broke from Edward's. I was prepared for whatever was to come. I gave him a small, sad smile, and mouthed 'I love you', while tears came down my face. I saw his brows come together in pain before he snapped his rage-filled gaze back to Jacob.

"Five," he warned again.

"She's mine!" Jacob screamed one last time.

"One!" Edward yelled.

The next thing I knew, I was being thrown to the side, as a flash of white ran towards Jacob. I felt my head connect with the side of an end table, and everything went black.

* * *

**EPOV**

"I will give you one minute to let her go before I tear you to shreds," I hissed at the same time as I felt both of my brothers grab each one of my wrists.

_Calm down, you don't want Bella to get hurt, too,_ I heard Emmett warn.

Jacob let out a sickening laugh as he moved his hand from Bella's mouth down to her neck. I struggled to break my wrists free, screw the minute warning.

"You come any closer and I'll snap her neck."

I almost lost it when Bella whimpered.

_57... 56... 55..._

I listened as my father tried to plead with Jacob, but I could tell by Jacob's thoughts that there was no pleading. He wasn't going to give her up. I felt Bella's eyes on me and it took every ounce of strength I had not to look at her, because if I did, I would attack Jacob right then and there. I had heard his hand connect with her face before I slammed into the room, and I could smell the blood coming from her lip. I continued to struggle with my brothers, but they wouldn't let up.

_Edward, wait. I'm trying to get to him,_ Jasper warned me.

"Tell them, Bella! Tell them you love me and want to be with me!" Jacob shouted.

I watched as Bella started to struggle in Jacob's arms as he continued to hold her. She let out cries of pain as she struggled against his forceful grip.

_25... 24... 23..._

"No! Jacob, let me go, please!" Bella cried out, causing my heart to soar. I didn't know why, but some part of me still thought this was what she wanted.

"Thirty seconds," I hissed as I crouched back further.

_The wolves will be here in five minutes, Edward. Calm down,_ I heard Alice plead, but I completely ignored her. I felt my brothers' hold became tighter and I watched as Jasper's power started to take effect on Jacob. His grip was starting to loosen around Bella and his eyes were begining to flutter with exhaustion.

"Stop doing that!" Jacob screamed.

He realized what was happening to him and knew he had to phase in order to keep control. I started to panic. I couldn't let him do that. If he phased with Bella in his arms, he would kill her. I had to look at her. I heard her gasp when my eyes connected with hers. Though tears were streaming down her face, and a bruise was forming on the right side of her cheek, she was still as beautiful as ever. I tried to assure her with just the look of my eyes that everything would be ok. I didn't know if it truly would be, but she had to think it would. I would die before I let Jacob leave with her again.

Jacob continued to shake as I warned, "Ten,"

Rosalie gasped as she saw Jacob shake, and Alice whispered, "He's going to phase with her in his arms."

"Boys, let him go," Carlisle whispered. _If he phases, he'll kill her, _I heard him think. No shit.

My eyes never wavered from Bella's as I felt the hold on my wrists disappear and I prepared to attack. He thought he could take me, he planned out his attack in his head. I almost laughed. He was so irrational right now; that he forgot I could see it all.

_Stupid dog._

It wasn't until I saw Bella give me a small, sad smile and mouth 'I love you' while tears came down her beautiful face, that I realized she knew what was about to happen. Her mouthing those words were her goodbye. That couldn't happen. My brows came together in pain before I snapped my eyes back to Jacob.

_8... 7... 6..._

"Five," I warned again.

"She's mine!" Jacob screamed at me one last time.

"One!" I yelled before lunging for him.

I watched, as he tossed Bella to the side and his body transform into wolf form. When I reached him, he had completely phased and we crashed through the wall, tumbling into the bathroom, causing everything in our path to shatter. His right paw snapped forward towards my head, I ducked and threw a punch to his gut. Jacob let out a huff as he attempted to snap at my face, I grabbed his left paw, twisting it, and throwing another punch to his nose. I grabbed Jacob by his fur, lifted him up and slammed him through another wall, causing us to tumble out to the back of the motel. I rolled away from him, stood up, crouched low with my arms at my side, and bared my teeth. Jacob shook his head as he stood up on his four legs. He growled at me, salvia dripping from his exposed teeth as flashes of Bella went through his mind.

_You can't have her_, he yelled through his mind. _She's mine!_

"She was never yours!" I hissed. I was vaguely aware that Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett were now outside with us, waiting to jump in whenever needed.

Jacob let out another growl before he lunged at me with his right paw in the air, ready to strike. I moved out of the way, just in time to feel his claws tear through my clothing. He moved towards me and snapped in my direction. I smirked. He was getting mad.

_Let me at him, _I heard Rosalie beg through her mind.

I shook my head. No one would get this chance but me. I watched as Jacob took a step to the right, and I took a step to the left. He wanted leverage for an attack, but he wasn't going to get it. I saw every move before he made it. His growling became fiercer and the smile on my face only infuriated him more.

"You've lost," I told him.

Jacob snapped at me one more time, before crouching back and lunging right at me. I jumped towards him, we connect in mid air, slamming to the ground. Jacob landed on top of me, attempting to snap my neck with his jaws, but I grabbed his snout with my hands, preventing him from getting any closer. I brought my legs up and kicked him off of me, causing him to go flying through the air. I was up, and had him by the throat before he landed. His left paw came up to strike but I grabbed it and snapped it back. Hearing Jacob cry out in pain as his bones broke under my hand sent a thrill through my body. He continued to struggle underneath me as I held him down by his neck with my left hand, punching him repeatedly in the face with my right. I felt his right paw clawing at my clothing but I didn't care. I continued to punch and slam his head into the ground. All two months worth of anger and grief were coming to the surface, and I was taking it out on the person that had caused it. Flashes of Bella's bruised face came to my mind, which only caused me to hit harder. I didn't know how long I had been hitting him, when I smelled the disgusting scent of wolf blood. My hand was covered in it, and Jacob was barely struggling anymore. I felt arms around me, grabbing me, but I struggled to keep hitting the dog. There was a pair on each one of my arms and around my torso.

"Let me go!" I yelled as they dragged me away from Jacob, who was barely conscious.

_Bro, Sam's coming! You have to stop! _I heard Emmett tell me, but I didn't care. I wanted to kill that mutt. I started to feel Jasper's influence, and I began to calm down. I stopped struggling and stood there, staring at the bloody mess on the ground. I felt Rosalie's grip around my torso loosen, but she didn't let go.

Jacob finally started to move. He was slow as he moved to his feet, but I could tell from his thoughts that he wasn't done. All four of us crouched back as Jacob started to charge for us. Before he got close, we saw a sandy colored wolf fly through the air, tackling Jacob to the ground. I looked around to try and find Sam and Leah, but they were nowhere to be found. I listened for their thoughts, to try and estimate how far away they were. Apparently, Seth had taken off when he heard our fight and their backs were turned.

_Don't make me do this, Jake_, Seth pleaded with his mind. Though Jacob could not hear him, he still begged. The two wolves started dancing around each other. Seth was looking for a way out, where as Jacob was looking for a point of attack. I watched as Jacob stepped to the right, like he had with me, trying to gain leverage.

"Seth, no!" I screamed, as the sandy colored wolf took a step to the right, as well. I could practically see the grin on Jacob's face as he leaned back to shoot out towards Seth. Jacob landed on top of Seth and snapped at his shoulder, causing Seth to cry out in pain. I ran towards the wolves with my brothers and sisters close behind me, but stopped when I heard it.

_Seth!_ Leah screamed with her mind, worried for her younger brother.

In that instant, we saw a flash of grey fly through the sky, as torn clothes scattered everywhere. Leah tackled Jacob off of her brother and snapped at him, taking his neck into her mouth.

_Leah, no! _Sam yelled through his mind as he ran up.

But it was too late. Leah was so full of rage over seeing Jacob attacking her brother, she wouldn't stop. Before any of us could attempt to try and stop her, she snapped her head to the left and we heard the bones crack.

Jacob stopped struggling and fell to the ground. Seconds later, his body changed back into human form, as it laid there, lifeless.

We all stood there, motionless. Leah stared down at Jacob's body in complete shock. Her mind was completely blank. Seconds later, soft whimpers started to rack her body, followed by loud cries.

"Leah," we all looked over to see that both Seth and Sam were back in human form. Seth was cradling a bleeding shoulder while Sam kneeled down next to him, trying to put pressure on the wound to keep it from bleeding too much. Leah looked over at her brother and let out another whimper.

_What have I done?_ I heard her ask herself.

"Leah, it's ok," Seth tried to reassure her, but she wouldn't listen.

She just shook her head and took off towards the woods.

"Leah!" Seth screamed. I watched as he attempted to phase to go after her, but instead he screamed in pain and gripped his shoulder.

"You can't phase now, Seth. Your arm is too badly hurt," Sam whispered. Seth squeezed his eyes shut as Sam looked over at Jacob's body.

Jasper walked over to the two. "I'll go find her, try to calm her down."

Sam looked up at Jasper before nodding his head and saying, "She's pretty fast."

Jasper gave a short nod before taking off into the woods.

_You should go check on Bella,_ I heard Rosalie think. _Send Carlisle out, too. We'll stay out here and deal with this._

I looked back over at the two wolves, who were staring at their deceased pack member. I wanted to feel for them. I wanted to say I'm sorry. But I couldn't. I wasn't sorry that Jacob was dead. I wanted him dead. I would have done it myself, if everyone would have let me. I didn't know how this would affect our alliance with the wolves now, but at that moment, I didn't care. All that mattered to me, at that moment, was Bella. I had to see if she was ok.

* * *

**BPOV**

"Would you guys please tell me what's going on? Is Edward ok? Please!" I begged as I paced. I had woken up a couple of minutes ago, and no one would tell me what was going on. My head was pounding and my body was aching, but I didn't care. I could hear the growling and snarls coming from across the street, and it scared me. Esme, Carlisle, and Alice had taken me across the street to the woods when I was unconscious and now they wouldn't let me back over to find Edward.

"Sweetheart, you have to calm down. You hit your head pretty hard; you're probably going to have a concussion," Carlisle said to me in a calming tone.

I fell to my knees and let out a sob. I was so worried about Edward that I couldn't care less about my physical pain. What if Jacob had hurt him? What if Jacob had killed him? I fell forward, my hands landing in the dirt, bracing myself, as I cried out.

"Bella, please, everything will be fine," Alice whispered from beside me.

I sat back up as I shook my head, wiped my nose and said, "You don't know that Alice, you can't see."

"Sweetie," Esme began as she knelt in front of me. "Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie are over there with him, they wouldn't let anything happen. You know that."

I was still scared. It didn't matter if an entire army was with Edward, I would still be worried about his safety. I nodded my head anyway and I started to wipe the tears from my eyes. I was probably getting dirt all over my face, but I didn't care.

"How are you feeling, Bella? Do you feel nauseous at all? Do you feel sleepy at all?" Carlisle asked me, as Esme stood up and looked behind me.

I knew she was just as worried as me, if not more. Her children were over there, and though she wanted to put a strong front on for me, I knew it was all an act.

I shook my head to answer Carlisle. "I just have a really bad headache."

Carlisle nodded. "You will. When we get moving, I'll get you some medicine and we can clean the cut."

My hand went up to my head, and I winced in pain. The area above my right eyebrow was swollen and tender. When I brought my hand back down, I saw my finger tips covered in blood. I immediately started to panic.

"Oh God, Esme, Alice, get away from me!" I tried to move, but Alice held me still.

"Shh, Bella, it's ok. We're ok. Don't worry about it."

I nodded my head and looked to the ground. Silent tears ran down my face as I thought of Edward again. Alice held me as sobs racked through my body, and though I was thankful for the comfort, her arms were not the ones I wanted around me. I wanted my Edward here with me now. I wanted him safe in my arms. Almost a minute later, Alice's arms were off of me, and all three Cullens were standing in front of me. I looked up at them with watery eyes, confused.

"What?" I asked, but none of them answered.

That's when I heard it. There was movement behind me and it made my heart skip. I knew, I didn't know how I knew, but I did. I held my breath as I slowly turned to look behind me. What I saw made me gasp, and fresh tears fell from my eyes. Kneeling behind me, looking more beautiful than I could ever remember, was Edward. He was breathing heavily, but slowly. His brows were together and the pain on his face mirrored my own. I didn't know how long we sat there, staring at each other, but it felt like a lifetime. A part of me was so scared that I would wake to find it all a dream, that I was still with Jacob, and Edward was nowhere to be found.

"Bella," I heard him choke out as his hand slowly moved towards my face.

When I felt his cold fingertips brush my cheek, I let out a small cry as I grabbed his hand and held it to my face. I closed my eyes, while tears continued to fall, and leaned into his cold touch.

"Are you real?" I whispered. My eyes were still closed. I was too afraid to open them, thinking that he would disappear if I did.

"Oh, Bella!" Edward cried before grabbing my arm and pulling me into his cold chest.

I let out a loud sob and held onto Edward as hard as I could. I cried into his chest as he rocked me back and forth. It was the first time I had felt complete in two months, and it was all because of one reason.

I was finally home.


	12. Chapter 11

**I own nothing of the Twilight universe, i just like to borrow it from time to time!**

* * *

**BPOV **

Edward and I sat in the back of the car while Carlisle and Esme sat in the front. I didn't know where the rest of the family was, and it worried me a little. Was the fight still going on? Was everyone ok? What happened to Jacob? I squeezed my eyes shut. I really didn't want to know what was going on, or what had happened. I held onto Edward for dear life as he rocked me back and forth, whispering words of love in my ear. I couldn't bring myself to let him go, I was still afraid it was all a dream.

"I know you're probably tired of hotels," I heard Carlisle say to me as we pulled up in front of a very tall, very grand, and very expensive looking hotel. "But I thought you would like to get cleaned up."

I looked down at my clothes and saw they were covered in dirt from sitting on the ground in the woods. I could also feel the dirt caked on my face. Maybe a shower wasn't a bad idea.

"You want to take a shower, Love?" Edward asked me softly.

I sat up and looked at Edward. I still couldn't believe he was here. Could this be a dream? Could my mind have finally gone completely insane and I was hallucinating all of this? I wasn't sure. All I was sure of was that Edward was in front of me, still beautiful as ever, and I didn't want to let him go.

"Bella?" Edward asked. His face showed nothing but concern. I must have looked crazy, sitting there, staring at him.

I quickly nodded, letting him know I heard him, because at that moment, I couldn't speak. What if speaking made him go away? What if speaking made me wake up from this wonderful dream? I watched as his hand came up to my face and rested above my eyebrow. I completely forgot about my open cut and shot my hand up to quickly cover it. I hissed in pain as my hand touched it.

"It's ok, Bella," Edward told me as he rubbed the top of my hand he was holding with his thumb. "I'm ok. You should probably let Carlisle clean it though"

I gave another nod and moved my hand away. On the inside of my palm was a little bit of blood. My stomach started to turn as the smell hit my nostrils and I started to breath heavy. Edward quickly took the end of his shirt and wiped the blood off my hand. I gave him a grateful look, which he answered with a small squeeze of the hand and a smile of his own.

* * *

I followed Edward into the bathroom of the hotel room, still holding onto his hand. I didn't want to let go. I still felt that this was all a dream and at any moment he would disappear, so, I wanted to hold onto him as long as possible. That's why when I felt him start to pull his hand away to turn on the shower, I began to panic. My heart rate started to escalate, my breathing became heavy, and I squeezed his hand with all the strength I had in me as I shook my head.

"Bella, love, please calm down, please! It's ok. I'm here! I was just turning on the shower," Edward whispered as he brought his free hand up to cup my face.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to will my body to calm down. Edward leaned his forehead against mine, whispering his assurance to me. I could feel his cool breath on my skin, and my body started to relax. I began to slowly shake my head again.

"You can't let go," I whispered. My voice was rough from not speaking for a while. "I have to feel you."

I felt Edward nod, before he placed a kiss on my forehead and gave a simple, "Ok."

If he minded, he never said a word. Edward continued to hold my hand as he opened the shower curtain, turned on the water, and made sure it was at an acceptable temperature. Edward turned back to me and told me to sit down on the toilet, all the while still holding my right hand in his left. I watched as he toed off his shoes and socks before kneeling down and taking mine off as well with his right hand. When he was done, he stood and started to remove his shirt. It was then I realized the shirt was torn and ripped. The rips looked like they came from claws. I still didn't know what happened back at the hotel. Edward didn't explain, and I didn't ask. I wasn't ready to know. All I knew was that I was here with Edward where I belonged. I squeezed his hand harder, knowing he would have to let go in order to take his shirt completely off, but his touch never faltered. When his right arm was free from his shirt, he grabbed my hand with his right before freeing his left arm from the shirt. Edward knelt down again and I felt his hand go for the buttons on my shirt. My heart started to race again as the realization hit me. This would be the first time Edward and I saw each other naked, and I was covered in ugly bruises. He would be sickened by what he saw, I'm sure of it. But what could I do? I couldn't let go of him, he had to be near me, touching me. I had to feel him.

"Bella, I can wait outside if you want," Edward told me in a hushed tone. "I'll just shower when you're done."

I started to shake my head rapidly. "No!" I almost screamed.

I felt Edward start to rub the back of my hand with his thumb. I bit my lip as tears started to form again.

"I need you here," I choked out.

Edward watched me for another second before nodding and returning to his previous task. I held my breath and closed my eyes as he pushed the shirt off my shoulders and slid my arms out of it. I couldn't bear to see the look of disgust on his face when he saw my body. When I heard him gasp, I let out a sob and grabbed for my shirt again.

"Bella, stop," Edward pleaded as he grabbed the shirt out of my hand.

I let go of the shirt, but kept my eyes to the ground. Edward stood before me and tugged my hand to make me stand with him. His right hand moved behind me and undid my bra. Almost a minute later, we were both in the shower. Edward had undressed us so quickly that I didn't even have time to register the fact that we were naked before the water hit my skin. We both stood in the shower, not saying anything, just letting the water fall onto us. I faced the shower head while Edward stood behind me with his arms wrapped around my body. My arms were under his and he was holding both of my hands with his own. I brought our entwined hands up to my mouth, kissed his knuckles, and then tucked them under my chin. I felt Edward's lips on my shoulder as he pressed a light kiss before resting his chin there. I turned my head to the side to look at him, but a flash of purple caught my sight, causing me to let out a sob.

"Love, what is it?"

"I'm disgusting," I whispered as tears came down my face.

Edward let out a gasp, and my fears were confirmed. He didn't think I knew, but I did. He thought I was disgusting, too. I kept my head down and closed my eyes as he turned me around to face him.

"Bella, please look at me."

My chin quivered as I shook my head. He was disgusted with me, with my body. I felt his fingers move under my chin and gently raise my head up. The second my eyes connected with his, I almost let out another sob. There wasn't a look of disgust like I had thought, but a look of love, mixed with pain.

"You are more beautiful than any other creature that walks this earth."

Fresh tears came to my eyes as I watched Edward lift my left arm up. An ugly, dark, black and blue bruise covered my upper arm. You could see the finger marks from where _he_ had squeezed too tight. Edward brought my arm to his lips and slowly kissed the entire bruise. When he was done, he moved to my right arm, repeating his actions with that bruise as well. When he was done with my right arm, he dropped to his knees and started to kiss every inch of my stomach that was black and blue. I squeezed his hand tighter, trying to convey everything I was feeling at that moment. I heard him whisper over and over again how much he loved me, and how sorry he was. I wanted to tell him he had nothing to be sorry for. That this wasn't his fault, it was all mine, but I couldn't find the words. What he was doing at that moment was so intimate, so perfect, and I didn't want to ruin it with speaking.

Edward finally stood, running his cold hands up my arms, until they landed on my face, cupping it in his hands. He ran his thumb over the cut on my bottom lip before tilting my head and kissing the bruise that had now formed on my cheek. He didn't kiss the cut on my forehead and I didn't mind. He was already doing so much.

His thumbs wiped away my tears as he whispered, "You're beautiful."

I looked at him one more time before I crashed my lips to his. It had been too long since I felt the sensation of his lips on my own. Part of me was worried that after two months of being forced to kiss Jacob, I wouldn't be able to kiss Edward. I was wrong. Kissing Edward was different than being forced to kiss Jacob. That felt so wrong, where as this felt so right, so wonderful. I wrapped my arms around Edward's shoulders, trying to bring him closer to me. His arms were wrapped around my waist as the water ran down on us. He still didn't feel close enough. I heard Edward moan into my mouth as I opened it up for him, inviting his tongue inside. I almost lost it when I felt his tongue massage my own. He almost never let our tongues touch when kissing. But this was a different kiss. It was passionate yet desperate. We were trying to put all of our feelings from the past two months into that kiss. After a couple of seconds, I pulled away to breathe, keeping my forehead on his. It wasn't even a minute later before I started kissing him again. I had been starving for him for two months and I was finally getting my fill. My hands moved up to Edward's hair as I pulled his face closer. Our bodies were scrunched together, but he still wasn't close enough. I moved my arms back to his shoulders, using them for leverage, as I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist. I moaned loudly when I felt the evidence of his arousal brush up against me. Edward's lips stopped moving as soon as my legs were around him.

"Bella, love, you have to get down," he forced out in between his heavy breathing.

I shook my head before saying, "No, you're not close enough."

I moved my head to kiss him again while he mumbled, "I'm right here"

"You're still not close enough," I breathed against his lips.

We continued to kiss as I moved my hand in between our bodies down to below his waist.

"Bella!" Edward cried out and grabbed my wrist.

Tears formed in my eyes as I looked up at him. "Please, Edward. I need to feel you. I need to feel you love me. Please."

I was begging Edward to have sex with me. How low could I possibly get? I couldn't find it in me to care though. It felt like there was a fire in my stomach, and that fire made me feel alive. It made me forget about all the bad stuff that had happened to me for the past two months, and it made me feel loved.

"Edward, please," I whispered one last time.

I could almost see the argument he was having with himself. He was scared, scared that he would hurt me. But I knew he wouldn't. He wasn't _him_. He was my Edward, and he would never hurt me. After what seemed like hours, Edward's grip loosened on my wrist.

"I trust you," I whispered.

I kissed him as my hand made its way down our bodies. When I wrapped my hand around him he let out a throaty groan. I gripped him softly in my hand, earning another groan from Edward.

_That was hot._

I decided right then and there, that if Edward did nothing but groan for the rest of my life, I would die a happy woman. I felt the fire in my body continue to grow, and the wetness I became familiar with a while back made its way in between my legs. My tongue continued to explore Edward's mouth, as I stroked him up and down slowly.

"Bella," Edward moaned against my lips.

_No, that was hot!_

When I moved to position him at my entrance, I felt Edward move us until my back was pressed against the cold tile. Edward's hand replaced my own as my right arm tightened around his shoulder and my left hand gripped his bicep.

"You have to tell me if I hurt you," Edward whispered.

I nodded my head and let out a moan as I felt him start to push into me. My lips found his and my legs tightened around his waist urging him to continue. My head fell back against the tiles and my eyes closed as he continued to push into me. I let out a cry and heard Edward groan loudly as a sharp pain ran through my body. Edward was fully inside of me, and it felt so right. Edward leaned his forehead against my collar bone as he breathed heavily. The pain started to subside and the coolness of his skin made it almost nonexistent.

"It's ok," I breathed. "I'm ok. Keep going."

I felt Edward nod, kiss my neck, and start to move inside of me. He felt amazing. The sensations that were soaring throughout my entire body felt amazing. My whole body was singing with delight and the sounds that Edward was making only made everything more pleasurable. My grip on him grew even tighter as I let out a loud moan.

"Oh, god, Edward," I moaned before crashing my lips to his.

He continued to pump in and out of me in a slow, almost agonizing pace, but it still felt extraordinary. Edward was making my toes curl and my insides explode.

"Ugh, Bella, you feel…." Edward moaned against my lips.

The fire in my stomach was starting to rise and my face began to tingle.

"Edward, please, faster," I begged.

He felt too good to go this slow. Edward started to shake his head as it moved down my neck. I heard a small growl form in his throat and could almost hear the struggle he was going through. He continued to pump in and out of me slowly as his breathing increased and incoherent mumbles came out of his mouth. His left arm held me around my waist as his right arm shot out and slammed onto the wall next to us. I let out a moan as I heard the tile crack underneath his hand.

_God, that was hot._

Edward was turning me into a pervert.

I moved my lips to his ear, nibbling and biting it before I whispered, "Stay with me, Edward. Stay with me."

Edward let out a breath before he moved his head back up to my face. I felt him nod as his lips met mine. He finally started to move faster and the fire inside of me continued to rise. My legs tightened again and began to move with him, encouraging him to go even faster.

"Yes, faster. Please, ughhh," I moaned out.

"Ohh, shit," Edward groaned as he moved faster.

Edward cursed.

I made Edward curse.

_No, that was hot!_

My back was starting to smack against the tile wall but I didn't care. My whole body felt like it was a volcano getting ready to explode. Edward shifted on his feet, causing him to hit a spot that caused my entire body to convulse with pleasure.

"Oh god, Edward!" I cried out as an explosion ran through my body. It seemed like all of my senses were heightened and my insides were exploding with pleasure. My eyes squeezed shut and my head slammed back against the wall.

"Bella!" Edward cried out as he moved faster and his body started to shake. I felt him empty himself inside of me before he slowed down his pace, riding out his pleasure. My eyes were still closed and my head was still against the wall as I tried to will myself to calm down. My entire body vibrated with pleasure and I felt completely relaxed. Edward must have felt the same way because his forehead was on my shoulder and his breathing was almost just as heavy as mine. A small smile formed on my lips.

Edward and I just had sex.

Edward and I just had _great_ sex.

I just lost my virginity to Edward Cullen.

I probably would have squealed if I could find the energy to speak.

"Bella?"

I opened my eyes and looked down. Edward was staring up at me; his face had a worried look plastered on it. I immediately started to panic. Did he not enjoy what just happened between us? Was I not good?

"What's wrong?" I asked with a hint of panic.

"Nothing. Are you ok? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

I let out a sigh of relief and shook my head with a small smile.

"No, not at all. That was…" I bit my lip as I tried to find the words to describe what I was feeling. But there weren't any. I had no words.

A beautiful smile formed on Edward's lips. "I know."

"So, it was… you... I mean, you enjoyed it? I was good?" I asked, a little nervous.

Edward's eyebrows scrunched together and the look on his face was a look of shock. "Enjoyed it? Love, that was amazing. You were amazing!"

I let out a small chuckle and bit my lip again. Edward leaned towards me and placed a small kiss on my lips.

"We should probably finish taking a shower though. Carlisle wants to talk to you."

And with that sentence, I was jolted out of our little bubble of Paradise and brought back to reality.

* * *

I took the extra towel Edward handed me and started to rub my hair with my empty hand. He still hadn't let go of me, which I was extremely grateful for. When the edge of the towel brushed against my forehead, I winced.

"You ok?" Edward asked, he took the towel out of my hand.

"Yeah," I answered as I moved the hair out of my eyes.

Edward gave me a little smile before we started to walk out of the bathroom. There, on the bed, were two piles of clothes that weren't there before.

_Alice._

I smiled. She must've been back. I watched as Edward moved the clothes with one hand. Sure, it probably wouldn't be difficult for him, but for myself, I could hardly do anything with _both_ of my hands, let alone just one.

I had to let go of Edward. My body started to immediately rebel against my decision, but I couldn't ask him to permanently give up his hand for me. So, I gave Edward's hand one final squeeze before I let it go. He looked back at me confused.

"I can't hold onto you all the time, Edward."

Edward moved towards me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"You can hold onto me for forever, Bella. I want you to," I heard him whisper.

I immediately wrapped my arms around his body and closed my eyes. In reality, I did want to hold onto Edward forever. I never wanted to let him go, but I couldn't constantly ask him to touch me, especially after what we just did. Before, his touch always sent tingles through my body, now it was fireworks. It took all I had at that moment to not rip his towel off and jump on top of him. I leaned back with my arms still around him and looked up.

"As long as I know you're there, I'll be ok." I paused and took a deep breath. "I have to see you. You can't leave me"

Edward brought his hands up to cup my face before he left a soft kiss on my lips.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm never letting you out of my sight again."

I gave him a small smile and another kiss. The kiss quickly became passionate and next thing I knew, I found my self lying down on the bed with Edward on top of me, his hand traveling down my towel covered body. I had just lifted my right leg to hook over his hip, when the banging started.

"Once is enough for today, Edward! Stop hogging Bella!"

My eyes shot open as Edward leaned his forehead against my collarbone while letting out a groan.

"Stupid pixie," Edward mumbled as he rolled over and lay beside me.

"I heard that!" Alice screamed through the door.

I let out a little chuckle before rolling onto my side and propping my head onto my hand. "I guess spending the whole day together alone is out of the question"

Edward quickly looked over at me with panic on his beautiful face.

"We can be alone if you want, love. We don't need to be around anyone you don't want to be."

I bit my lip as I tried to decide. Spending the day alone with Edward was what I wanted. I didn't want to be around anyone besides him. But I did miss his family. And after hearing her voice, some part of me wanted to see Alice almost as badly as I wanted to see Edward. The last time I saw her was in the woods, and the situation was so tense that I couldn't really convey anything to her besides that I wanted to see her brother. Edward and I could always spend the night together.

"Yay!" Alice screamed through the door, and I could swear I heard the distinct sound of clapping.

Edward chuckled before saying, "It's fine, Bella. They want to see you, too."

I gave Edward another quick smile before jumping out of the bed to get dressed.


	13. Chapter 12

**I own nothing of the Twilight universe, i just like to borrow it from time to time!**

* * *

**BPOV**

"Jasper, please, calm your wife down!" I exclaimed with a huge smile on my face. I couldn't help it. Even though Alice's squeals could probably be heard across town, and it had been a good five minutes since she started hugging me and had yet to let go, I loved every second of it. I truly missed my best friend and just being around her made a little bit of the ache go away.

I heard everyone let out chuckles before Jasper stepped up and placed his hands on Alice's arms.

"Alice, hun, can the rest of us say hi to Bella now?"

I felt Alice shake her head on my shoulder and I let out another laugh. I gave Alice one more squeeze before I retracted my arms from around her. Alice let out a huff and let me go before she grabbed my hands in her ice cold grip and looked me in the eyes. "I'm so glad you're back."

Tears came to my eyes and I pulled her into another hug. I squeezed my eyes shut as I whispered, "Thank you. I'm glad to be back."

After another minute, we finally pulled away. I quickly wiped my face clear of any tears and turned to Jasper. I wanted to hug him, but knew better than that. With the cut on my forehead, I'm sure it was already hard enough on him. Jasper gave me a small smile as he reached out and ruffled the top of my hair.

"It's good to see you," Jasper said with a smile as Alice wrapped her arms around his waist.

I gave him a small nod with a smile.

"Ok my turn!" I heard a booming voice come from behind me. By the time I turned around, Emmett had moved next to me, wrapped his arms around my body, and swung me around. His strong grip squeezed the bruises on my body, but I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips.

"Emmett!" I heard Edward cry out from behind me.

Emmett put me down and winced. "Sorry, Bells. Did I hurt you?"

He did a little, but I didn't care. I shook my head. "No, Emmett, you're fine," I assured with a huge smile. I couldn't stop smiling and my face was starting to hurt from it.

Emmett gave me a huge grin, showing off his dimples as he pulled me in for another, more gentle, hug.

"It's so good to have you back, little sis!"

"It's good to be back," I admitted.

Emmett pulled me in closer and whispered in my ear, "Congratulations,"

At first, I was confused. Why would he be congratulating me? My eyes went wide when I saw Carlisle and Esme look away with small smiles on their faces. I could feel my cheeks burn and I suddenly wanted to run for cover.

I looked over when I saw movement and noticed Rosalie standing next to us. She seemed to be debating something in her head as she stared at me. When she opened her mouth to speak, I felt Edward's hand on my shoulder.

"Rose," Edward said softly.

I looked back at him then back at Rose. Why would he be stopping her? Rosalie let out a sigh, threw Edward a dirty look, then looked back at me.

"Did he…" Rosalie started. She let out another breath, then started again, "He didn't… he didn't..."

She stopped again and I could tell she was getting frustrated with herself. But I couldn't figure out what she was trying to say.

Rosalie let out a small growl before quickly saying, "Did he force you?"

I scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion. "Force? What do you me-" Then my eyes went wide. I knew what she meant. Rosalie was asking if Jacob had raped me.

I started to immediately shake my head. "No, he didn't." Rosalie physically relaxed. "He just…" I bit my lip, I wasn't sure how Edward would feel about this and I wasn't sure if I wanted him to know. I felt Edward's hand tense on my shoulder and Rosalie sucked in a breath.

"It was just kisses!" I spat out quickly. "He just… I had to kiss him. A lot." The last part was a whisper. I looked over at Edward as I felt the tears come to my eyes. "I didn't want to. I'm so sorry. But he would..." My chin was quivering and my words were becoming a jumbled mess.

"Shh, Bella, it's ok," Edward whispered to me as he kissed my left temple.

I took a deep breath, and nodded before I turned back to Rosalie. She was still looking at me, only now her face was filled with relief.

"I'm glad you're ok," she whispered to me before she turned and walked out of the room. Emmett threw me a small smile and followed her out of the room.

I looked back at Edward. "Is she ok?"

He gave me a little nod and said, "Bad memories."

I looked down at my hands. I didn't want Rosalie to remember those horrible things because of me. When I looked back up, Carlisle and Esme were standing before me and I couldn't stop myself from running into Esme's arms. She wrapped her arms around me as I cried into her shoulder.

"Shhh," Esme whispered as I felt Carlisle rub my shoulder.

"I missed you guys so much," I whispered as tears continued to flow.

"We missed you too, dear," I heard Carlisle say to me.

Esme pulled back and started to wipe the tears from my face. She smiled sweetly at me. "No more tears. You're home now, where you belong."

I nodded and smiled at her. She was right. I turned my attention to Carlisle and gave him a hug. When we pulled away, he put his fingers under my chin and tilted my head.

"Why don't we go get this cleaned up and get you some pain killers?"

I let out a little chuckle. "That actually sounds great."

* * *

**EPOV**

We sat in silence as we waited for the rest of the passengers to board the plane. We were on the plane heading back to Washington with the rest of my family. I had wanted to spend the night so that Bella could get proper rest, but Carlisle insisted we take her back right away. Charlie had waited long enough for his daughter. If I could cry, I would have when I spoke to Charlie.

* * *

"_I'm just going to make a quick phone call, love." Bella's eyes went wide with panic and I heard her heart rate pick up. "I'll keep the door open so you can see me."_

_Bella blinked a couple times before letting out a small sigh and nodding. I gave my father a quick nod before walking into the next room. I made it a point to stand in view of the doorway so Bella could see me the entire time. I took one final breath before taking my phone out and began dialing._

"_Forks County Police," a female voice said into the phone._

"_May I speak to Chief Swan, please?" _

"_Let me check to see if he's in, please hold." _

_As I waited, I looked up to see Bella hissing in pain as Carlisle cleaned the cut on her forehead. The pain reached me as if it were my own. _

"_Who may I say is calling?" the women asked as she picked up the phone._

"_Edward Cullen."_

"_Hold, please." _

_It took Chief Swan exactly six seconds to answer the phone. _

"_Edward? What's going on? Is everything ok?" Charlie's voice was frantic. Maybe I should have let Carlisle call. I hadn't spoken to Charlie since we left Forks. Carlisle was always the one that had called him. _

"_We got her Charlie."_

_I listened as Charlie stopped breathing. He was quiet for a good ten seconds._

"_Is she...?" he choked out._

"_She's fine. A couple of bruises and a cut on her forehead, but she's fine. Carlisle is cleaning her up now."_

_I could hear Charlie start to cry on the phone and a lump formed in my throat. I could only imagine the kind of pain he had gone through, as well, these past two months. _

"_Chief Swan, have you spoken to Billy at all?"_

_Charlie sniffed before answering, "No. We got into a pretty heated argument last week. We haven't talked since."_

_I pinched the bridge of my nose. I didn't know how Charlie would take this news._

"_What happened to Jacob?" Charlie asked before I could say anything._

_I let out a huff before explaining to Charlie everything that happened. He was silent for the most part. Only letting out small gasps every once in a while. _

"_They are driving back with Sam now. They should be there in a day or two. I'm pretty sure they've already made the call to Billy."_

"_I'll head out to La Push now. See if he needs anything."_

"_That sounds like a good idea." I paused while I looked back towards Bella. Carlisle was stitching up her forehead._

"_Do you want to talk to her?"_

_I heard Charlie let out another breath and a small cough. "Honestly, Edward, I just want you to bring her home. I don't think I'd be able…." Charlie stopped as he started to get choked up again. _

"_Our flight arrives tonight at 10 p.m., and we should be back in Forks around 10 a.m. tomorrow."_

"_I'll meet you at your house."_

"_The door should be unlocked, so just let yourself in."_

_Charlie agreed and we started to say goodbye. _

"_Edward?" I heard Charlie call out before I hung up the phone._

"_Yes, sir?"_

_Charlie sniffed one more time before choking out, "Thank you."_

* * *

"You should really get some sleep, love. I'm sure you're pretty exhausted," I said, finally breaking the silence between us.

Bella looked over at me and gave me a small smile. "Is that your way of telling me I look like crap?"

The right side of my mouth turned up as I pulled Bella into my arms. "If you could ever look like crap, as you put it, then I would tell you. But, as always, you're just as beautiful as ever."

"Not really beautiful when you're covered in bruises," I heard her mumble and it broke my heart.

"Bella," I started as I brought her face up to look at me, "you are beautiful."

I ghosted my fingers across her swollen cheek. "This will fade. It all fades. But don't think for one second that any of this makes you any less beautiful. I love you, no matter what."

Bella gave me a soft kiss and lay her head on my shoulder. We were silent for a little while longer and it gave me time alone with my thoughts. I had my Bella back and she was safe. There was also something else that was weighing in on my mind.

Bella and I had sex.

Bella and I made love.

She was amazing, the feeling was amazing, and I didn't lose control like I was always afraid I would. Making love to Bella was one of the best moments of my life. But there was a part that bothered me. I made love to Bella against the wall of a shower in a hotel room. Not exactly the most romantic place. When I envisioned making love to Bella, I envisioned a bed, candles, flowers, and soft, lovely music playing. But instead, it was against a wall in a shower. What could she possibly think of me? Could she regret what we did? Was it a mistake? And if it was, why did I have the incredible urge to do it over and over again?

"Edward, can I ask you something?" I heard my love whisper, breaking me from my own thoughts.

I gave Bella a quick kiss on the top of her head and mumbled in her hair, "Of course, love."

Bella hesitated for a minute, and I could hear her biting her lip. She was nervous about something.

"What happened to Jacob?"

My whole body went stiff and my eyes snapped over to my family. They all heard what Bella had asked and were looking over at us with concern. I didn't know what to say.

_Tell her the truth, son, _I heard Carlisle think. My eyes connected with his and I silently pleaded with him. I didn't want to have to do this.

_You can't lie to her, not after everything she's been through_, he told me.

And though it pained me to admit it, he was right. Bella deserved to know the truth.

"Edward?" Bella asked as she lifted her head off my shoulder and looked at my face.

The second my eyes connected with hers, I knew she knew. Her breath caught in her throat and her eyes went wide.

"He's dead," she stated softly.

I didn't deny it. I watched as she let it sink in. Her face was totally blank. I couldn't tell what she was thinking or feeling.

_She's having mixed emotions,_ Jasper explained to me through his mind. _She's confused. She doesn't know what to feel._

"Love?" I asked her softly.

"Did you kill him?"

I shook my head. "No, I didn't."

She was silent again. Finally she asked, "Who did?'

I let out a breath, reached out, and pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Leah did."

Bella's eyes went wide. She wasn't expecting that. I watched as she squeezed her eyes shut and licked her lips.

"Bella, do you want to…?"

"Headache," she stated, cutting me off. "I have a headache"

"Would you like some more pain killers?" I asked, as I leaned up.

Bella opened her eyes and gave me a small smile. "That would be great."

Those were the last words she said on the entire flight.

* * *

**BPOV**

_I walked through the hotel and looked around. The room was completely bare. There was no bed, no chairs, no table. But there was a smell in the air I couldn't define. The smell made my stomach turn. As I moved forward, the smell became stronger and sounds of crackling came to my ears. I put my hand up to my nose to try and block the smell that was now making me gag. When I walked through the doorway that led to the bathroom, I stopped. There was a huge hole in the wall, and right outside of the door, there was a huge fire that was blazing. I stopped when I saw Jacob standing to the right of the fire._

"_Jacob?" I called out._

"_You think you could just leave me? You think he could just win?"_

_My eyes went wide as I watched Jacob throwing things into the fire. _

"_Jacob, what are you doing?" I asked as I walked towards him._

"_You're mine, Bella. Not his. When you realize that, everything will be better."_

_My eyes went wide and I stopped walking when I saw what Jacob was throwing into the fire. _

"_Jacob, no!"_

* * *

I woke with a start and began to breath heavy. For a second, I had no clue where I was. I jumped when something cold touched my hand.

"Love, are you ok?"

I let out a breath when I heard Edward's voice. I was in the back seat of Carlisle's car with Edward, on our way back to his house. I wasn't with Jacob anymore. Edward had come for me. I squeezed my eyes shut and let my breathing return to normal.

"Bella?" I heard Edward ask again as he grasped my left hand.

I gave Edward a small smile before saying, "I'm fine. How long was I out?"

"Almost two hours," Edward answered as I smoothed my hair down.

I leaned my head back against the back of the seat and let out a little cough. The nightmare was still fresh in my mind and I could still smell the revolting smell of burning flesh in my nose.

"Next time, don't let me sleep so long, ok?" I whispered.

"Bella, you need your rest."

I didn't answer him. I just turned my head and looked out the window. I didn't want rest. Rest meant I could dream. And dreaming meant nightmares. And nightmares were never a good thing. I had been having nightmares for two months and I was utterly and completely tired of them. I watched the trees pass by outside the window as Edward rubbed small circles into the palm of my hand. It was something small, but it put my entire body at ease. I could feel Edward's eyes on me and I knew what he was thinking.

He wanted me to talk to him. He wanted me to express how I felt about Jacob's death. I shivered. How could I possible express the feelings I was having when I wasn't even sure what they were? And even if I did, why would I want to talk about it? Talking didn't make things better, they made them worse, they made things more real, and I didn't want it to be real. I wanted the last two months to be a horrible nightmare that I just woke up from.

I started to breath heavily and I needed something to calm me down. I looked down at Edward's hand that was holding my own and concentrated on the feel of his fingers. I shifted in my seat a little and flinched in pain. I was sore, but in a good way. Flashes of last night in the shower with Edward came to my mind and I yearned for the comfort it brought me. It was then I realized that while making love to Edward, I had completely forgotten about what had happened to me. I had felt like my old self and was utterly and completely happy. I couldn't remember the last time I felt like that.

''Bella?" Edward asked in a low whisper, jolting me out of my thoughts.

I looked up at him briefly before averting my eyes. "I'm fine."

I looked back out the window so I wouldn't have to see the expression on his face. Edward knew I was lying, and I prayed he wouldn't push it. Thankfully he didn't. The trees started to become familiar and I realized we were back in Forks. Carlisle turned the car down the familiar driveway, and I suddenly felt anxious. Being back in Forks meant everything was truly over.

"I guess Charlie got in ok," Esme said from the front seat.

My head shot up at the sound of my father's name. I hadn't thought about him since before Edward rescued me. I immediately felt guilty. My father must have been out of his mind with worry. What did they tell him? What could they tell him? There were so many things I had missed.

"My dad's here?"

I saw Edward nod with a smile. "He's waiting for you by the door. He's missed you very much."

I bit my lip as tears came to my eyes. I missed my father more than anything and I couldn't wait to see him. It seemed like it took us hours to drive up the long road, when in reality, it only took us mere seconds. When the Cullen household was in sight, I couldn't contain myself any longer. I opened the car door and jumped out before Carlisle could stop. I thought I heard Edward call my name, but I couldn't be sure. I was running up the Cullens driveway with only one thought on my mind: My father.

I pushed myself faster when I saw my father come to the front door. His face was a mask of confusion before a look of shock.

"Bella?" he yelled from the doorway. I continued to run as my father slammed out the front door and down the front steps. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, I had finally caught up to him. I immediately jumped into his arms, squeezing him to me. Charlie wrapped his arms around my torso in such a frantic hurry that I had never seen him show before.

"Oh god, Bella, thank god!" I heard my father breathe out as we fell into a heap on the ground.

I couldn't contain the sobs that escaped my chest as I held my father close to me. I felt him pull back and begin to examine every inch of my skin.

"Are you ok? How's your forehead? Oh, thank god, Bella!"

Tears continued to fall down my face as I tried to find the words to answer his questions, but I couldn't. I don't think Charlie minded because he didn't wait for an answer before he pulled me back into his arms and sobbed right along with me.


	14. Chapter 13

**I own nothing of the Twilight universe, i just like to borrow it from time to time!**

* * *

**BP****OV**

Edward, Charlie, Carlisle, and I were sitting in the Cullen living room while the rest of the family roamed around the house. Carlisle and Edward were seated on the couch while Charlie and I sat on the loveseat. I wanted to be sitting with Edward but I also wanted to sit with Charlie, so I told myself I would get plenty of time to be near Edward later. Now, I needed to spend time with Charlie. I had missed my father so much and had been so worried about him.

"So, you know... Everything?" I asked skeptically as I looked between my father, Carlisle, and Edward.

Charlie shook his head. "No, not everything. But enough. I don't need to know everything. They told me enough so that I would know the truth about what was going on and that's fine with me."

I nodded my head. Charlie had taken the news much better than I had expected. He didn't seem bothered by it at all and wasn't acting any differently towards the Cullens than before. I guess I found out where I got my open mindedness from, although I kind of already suspected it.

"Your mother doesn't need to know, though. I don't think this would be something she could handle."

I let out a little laugh and nodded. "Yeah, I think you're probably right."

I listened as Carlisle and Charlie began to discuss what had been going on in Forks recently, when the question popped in my mind again. I had been sitting here, wondering how I would approach the subject with him and decided it would be best just to approach it head on.

"Have you talked to Billy?" I asked.

Charlie let out a breath, smoothed his mustache out, and nodded. "Yeah. I went down to La Push yesterday."

"How is he?"

Despite everything that happened, Billy was like family to me. It wasn't his fault Jacob did what he did, and he was probably going through as much stress as everyone else was. Even more now that Jacob was gone. I shivered at the thought.

"He's, ah, he's putting up a strong front. But he can't lie to me. I'm supposed to go there tomorrow and help… set up funeral arrangements."

I was still as stone. _Funeral_. The word sounded awful in my head and I wanted to vomit. Jacob was dead, and there would be a funeral for him.

"But I won't, you know, if you feel that I shouldn't. If it makes you uncomfortable, Bells, then I won't."

I broke out of my trance and shook my head. "No, I think you should. I think it's nice you're helping Billy. He needs all the help he can get right now."

Charlie gave me a short nod while he examined my face. I still couldn't really process the fact that Jacob was dead. And to be completely honest, I still didn't know how I felt about it. Should I be glad? Or should I feel sorry? If I did feel sorry, would people be mad at me because of what he did to me? Or if I was glad, would people think I was heartless? Jacob was a friend to me. Well, he used to be. He used to be a really good friend. I thought I was in love with him at one point, too. But that was before…

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to regulate my breathing.

"Bells?"

I opened my eyes to see three set of faces filled with concern staring back at me.

"Are you o..."

"Are you hungry, Dad? I can make you something to eat?" I asked, effectively cutting Charlie off. No I was not ok, but neither he, nor anyone else, needed to know that.

Charlie began to shake his head. "Bells, that's not necessary. We can go out or order something. You should really get some rest."

"I don't need rest!" I snapped.

I looked up at Charlie and saw the hurt look on his face and I sighed.

"What I need is a little bit of normalcy," I admitted. "Let me cook us lunch and you can watch the game. I'm sure some game is on and then we can eat together."

Charlie was still looking at me with doubt.

"I'd really like that," I told him.

It was almost a whole minute before Charlie let out a huff and said, "Ok, Bells." He turned to Carlisle and Edward. "What about you guys, you hungry?"

Both Edward and Carlisle chuckled and looked down. I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face as well. "Uh, Dad. They don't eat."

Charlie blinked then shook his head. "That's right. Sorry."

"No need to apologize, Charlie. It takes some getting used to," Carlisle said in a soft tone.

Charlie nodded his head before he slapped his hands on his knees and stood up. Carlisle followed suit, along with Edward.

"Come on, Charlie, let's go down to the entertainment room and see if we can find a game."

"Phillies and Marlins playoff game on in fifteen!" I heard Emmett yell from somewhere in the house, and I rolled my eyes.

Charlie started to walk out of the room but stopped and turned back to look at me. The look in his eyes was something I'd never seen before. It was fear.

"I'll just be in the kitchen, Dad." I assured him.

Charlie gave me one final nod, before walking out of the room with Carlisle behind him. I smiled when I felt cool arms make their way around my waist.

"Is he going to be ok?" I asked softly.

"He'll be fine, love. He just missed you."

I let out another sigh before I turned in Edward's arms and lay my head on his chest. I started to think of things I could make Charlie for lunch, when a thought occurred to me.

"Do you guys even have anything here to eat? You've been gone a while, too."

Before Edward could answer me, Alice and Jasper come walking through the door with over a dozen shopping bags in their hands.

"Ask and you shall receive!" Alice sang out.

I couldn't help the giggle that came out and I shook my head. "That is a lot of food. Did you buy the whole store?"

Alice shrugged her shoulders. "Shopping is shopping. Besides, we have to keep up appearances!"

I rolled my eyes as Edward and I followed Alice and Jasper into the kitchen. Esme was sitting at the kitchen island reading a book when we entered. I gave her a smile as she stood and closed her book.

"Boys, why don't you put the groceries away while Bella and I find something to cook?"

Being the good son's that they were, Edward and Jasper immediately started to unpack the groceries and put them away for their mother.

I searched through the bags to try and find something to make, when something caught my eye. I pulled out a bag of fresh Italian rolls. Sandwiches would be good for lunch.

"Did you get any meats or anything?" I asked as I made room on the counter for the breads.

"I got all different kinds of lunch meats, and there is some pork and roast beef in there, too," Alice answered as she emptied the fridge of all the bad food.

"That's perfect. I can make hot pork and roast beef sandwiches, I'll just ask my…"

"He'll want pork," Alice said with a smile.

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Pork it is."

A while later, the five of us where laughing and joking around in the kitchen, when it happened. Esme was helping me cook the pork and prepare the rolls, Edward was making disgusted faces, commenting on the revolting smell of swine, while Alice and Jasper were talking about her next shopping trip.

"So, Bella, we should go shopping!" Alice squealed.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Sweetheart, she _hates_ shopping! Why do you insist on forcing her to go?" Jasper asked with a laugh.

"Because I'm hoping that she'll see that it's fun and learn to love it!" Alice stated with a shrug.

"And have you seen her do that yet?" Edward asked his sister.

Alice shook her head and said, "No, but I'm a patient person! I mean, how can you _not_ love shopping! Hell, I'm even in love with the little plastic credit card and it loves me back!"

I heard Jasper give a mock gasp. "You know that little plastic card doesn't love you like I love you though, right?"

My whole body went rigid. Flashes of Jacob came to my mind when he told me similar words.

"_He doesn't love you like I love you, Bella!" Jacob cried out as he shook my body hard._

I dropped the fork I was holding and started to breath heavy as sobs racked through my body. I barely took notice to everyone speaking to me as the tears started to pour down my face.

* * *

**EPOV**

"Edward, take her upstairs before Charlie sees her."

I was already half way up the stairs with Bella in my arms before Esme could finish her sentence. I sat down on my bed with Bella sobbing against my chest.

"Bella, love, calm down. You're home now, everything is ok," I assured her as I rocked her back and forth.

Bella didn't say anything, she just continued to sob. I tried my hardest to calm her with my words, but nothing was working. I finally gave up and just held her. I didn't know what caused her panic attack, but it worried me. If I didn't know, I couldn't prevent it in the future. Bella finally began to calm down but kept her head in the crook of my neck.

"Bella, what happened?"

I felt her tense in my arms. "Tell me you love me."

My brows came together in confusion as I took her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me.

"I love you, you know that. Love, what's wrong?"

Bella squeezed her eyes shut and licked her lips. She was really starting to worry me. Her entire body was shaking and her heart beat was going a mile a minute. I rubbed my thumbs on her cheek to try and sooth her, but nothing was working.

"Kiss me, Edward," she whispered as she opened her eyes.

Her beautiful brown eyes had unshed tears in them and I felt my heart breaking. I didn't know how to take away this pain she was feeling. I felt completely helpless. So, if kissing her would give her some sort of relief, then that's what I'd do. I leaned in and placed my cold lips on hers. I kissed her softly, trying to convey all my love to her. Bella's hands found their way into my hair and I couldn't help the moan that escaped my throat when she tugged on it.

_I love it when she does that._

I felt Bella's tongue beg for entrance at my lips and I was all too eager to oblige. Keeping my teeth covered, I kissed Bella with a renewed force as she moved to straddle my lap. This simple kiss was starting to turn into something more, and the tightness in my pants was becoming all too present.

"Mm, Bella, we should… mmm… probably…" Bella cut me off by thrusting her delicious tongue in my mouth.

I felt her shake her head as her arms wrapped around my shoulders and crushed my body to hers. Her center was rubbing against my erection and it felt amazing. But I had to stop her. Charlie and the rest of my family were down stairs, undoubtably waiting for us to return.

"Bella," I tried again as she moved her lips away from my own. I had to close my eyes as I felt her hot mouth kiss its way down my jaw and neck. I let out another groan as I felt her begin to nibble on my ear.

_I'm stopping her. I have to__._

I told myself that, but I quickly found my hands guiding her hips across my lap and rubbing our cloth covered bodies together. Where had all my self control gone? I could do this. I used to do this all the time. We always had to stop before; it shouldn't be too hard now.

"Make love to me, Edward" Bella whispered into my ear before continuing her work on my ear and neck.

I think I almost came undone right there. Bella asking me to make love to her was the sexiest thing I had ever heard. I wanted to rip her clothes off, lay her down on the bed, and...

_NO! _

We had to stop. Our families were downstairs. My eyes shot open and I forced my hands to stop moving.

"Bella, everyone is waiting downstairs. My parents, your father, they are all probably worrying where we are."

Ok, so it was a small lie. My family knew exactly what was going on and were effectively trying to keep Charlie busy. Esme and Rosalie were finishing up the cooking where Bella left off; Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett were watching a baseball game with him, while Alice was setting the table.

"I need to feel you close to me," Bella whispered as she tried to rub herself on me. I halted her movements and looked her in the eyes.

The look in her eyes was something I hadn't seen in months. It was the look from my Bella, the Bella from before. Her eyes had a twinkle in them and showed a warmth that they only had when they were looking at me. Gone were the unshed tears and pain from the last two months, replaced with love and a hint of dark arousal. I knew I should have stopped, but for the life of me, after seeing that look in her eyes, I couldn't.

"I need to feel you close to me, too," I whispered as my hand made its way to the back of her neck before I brought her lips to mine.

I cupped her face in my hands and continued to kiss her while she began to unbutton my shirt. In one quick movement, I had us flipped over, laying us down on the bed, with me on top of her. Bella let out a little giggle as the bed bounced from the fast movement, and I smiled. That was the most beautiful sound in the world and I vowed to hear it everyday. After a few minutes of groping and kissing, our movements became frantic and it was only seconds before we each had lost our clothes and Bella was wrapping her smooth legs around my waist. The monster inside of me screamed to take her fully, as my hand made its way down our bodies, but I ignored it and pushed it further back into my mind. I moaned when I felt how wet and ready she was for me.

"You have to tell me…"

"I will," Bella breathed against my lips.

A second later, we both cried out as I plunged into her. She was still as warm as before and I had to concentrate so I didn't lose it right there. My lips made their way down her neck as I started to move in and out of her. Her hands where all over me, leaving wonderful burning sensations every where she touched. I continued to pump into her as I moved my head down to her chest. I moved my hand to cup her breast as I brought my mouth to the other one. I kissed and licked all around it before swiping my tongue across the hardened nipple. Bella arched her back and moaned out in pleasure, and I couldn't contain the smug smile on my face. I took her nipple into my mouth and sucked on it as I felt her hands find their way to the back of my hair. After a couple seconds, I switched breasts, groping and fondling the right one, while I licked and sucked the left one. I couldn't tell how long I did that, switching back and forth; all I knew was that I discovered something while doing it. I was definitely a breast man, and Bella's breasts were beyond perfect. I could tell that Bella enjoyed what I was doing because her soft moans quickly became loud cries of pleasure as she chanted my name over and over again. I started to move a little faster inside of her and started to feel her walls tighten around me.

"Oh, God, Bella," I groaned before taking her breast back into my mouth.

Bella's body began to shake as her orgasm took over her entire body.

"Edward!" she cried out as her grip on my hair became stronger.

As I felt her coming down from her orgasm, I slowed my pace a little. Seeing Bella come was the sexiest thing I had ever seen and I had to control myself. I started to kiss my way back up her body as she moved her arms to rest on my hips. I stopped at her neck and rubbed my nose up and down it. Her scent was intoxicating, and it was making the experience even better. Venom pulled in my mouth as I across the pumping artery in her neck. My tongue swiped over the artery and the monster inside of me purred.

"Stay with me," I heard Bella whisper as she cupped my face and brought it up to her own.

I didn't know how she knew, but both times we had had sex, Bella seemed to know when my monster poked its head out and knew exactly how to bring me back.

"I'm here, love," I whispered against her lips.

By now, our moans were loud and our breathing was heavy, but neither of us cared. We were both in a state of complete bliss. I started to pump faster again and couldn't help the loud moan that escaped my throat when Bella took my bottom lip into her mouth and softly bit it. I knew I was close, but the sex-craved man inside of me wanted Bella to come one more time before I went. I thought back to when we were in the shower, and how when I had moved positions, I had gone deeper, hitting a spot that caused her to come instantly. I vaguely remembered a position I saw in Emmett's mind a while ago and decided to try it. I sat up on my knees quickly, causing Bella to look at me in confusion.

"What are you…?"

I gave her a smirk as I pulled her hips up so that her body was slightly bent. Her shoulders and top of her back were still lying on the bed, whereas her lower back and hips were raised up, with her legs wrapped around me. Bella's eyes went wide as I hit the spot I was looking for. I held her hips as I pumped faster and faster. I tried to concentrate on not squeezing her too hard, but the sight of Bella beneath me, sweat covered and completely naked, was almost too much. Bella's hands went to her hair as she closed her eyes shut and let out a throaty moan. I threw my head back and squeezed my eyes shut when I felt her start to tighten around me again. I was close, and I knew feeling her come would send me right over the edge.

_She's going to scream so loud __that__ Charlie's going to hear!_

My eyes shot open when I heard Alice speak to me. Part of me wanted to be mad that she was interfering with such a private act between Bella and I, but I had to be thankful. I didn't think the Chief would appreciate what we were doing right now. I looked down at Bella and watched as her hands shot down to hold my wrists and her breathing become erratic.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God," she chanted over and over as I plunged deeper and deeper. When her body started to shake, I let go of her hips and covered her body with my own. My lips slammed onto hers, muffling her scream of pleasure as she came. Feeling her walls tighten around me was the end of it for me. I let out a muffled groan as I emptied myself into Bella. I rode out my own orgasm before coming to a complete stop. I leaned on my elbows and looked down at Bella. Her eyes were closed, she was breathing heavily, and her hands were placed on each temple on the side of her head. I immediately began to panic.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

Bella shook her head with a smile, keeping her eyes closed. "No," she breathed. "My face is all tingly."

The right side of my mouth came up as I asked, "Is that a good thing?"

_That's a very good thing, bro!_ I heard Emmett think as Bella nodded her head.

I let out a groan of annoyance as I rolled over and lay on the bed next to Bella. Of course he was listening. Hopefully, I wouldn't have to hear it too much. But deep down, I knew I would.

"What's the matter?" Bella asked as she cuddled up next to me.

I contemplated telling her, but decided against it. I knew Bella, and Emmett's little comments would only embarrass her. So, I shook my head and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Nothing, love"

We laid there for a few minutes, just basking in the pleasure of our love making and enjoying the feeling of being in each others arms. Part of me still couldn't believe I had her back, that it was all over. And I was glad. I didn't know how much more of it I would be able to take. I thought walking away from Bella was the worst experience I had ever known, but that was quickly pushed aside when I thought she had been killed. I couldn't even put into words what that felt like. But having Bella taken from me by force, with little to nothing that I could do about it, was the worst of them all. Knowing she was out there and we were being kept apart by something that wasn't our own doing... yeah, that trumped everything else.

"Edward, I know we haven't gotten to talk about… what we've done. And I do want to, I don't want you to think that I don't, but… you don't… regret us having sex, right?"

"What?" I asked as I pulled back to look at her face. "No! Bella, God, I…." I tried to find the words, but it seemed almost impossible. I let out an aggravated breath and looked Bella right in the eye. "No, I do not regret us having sex, Bella. I think it's amazing, and I'm sort of proud of myself. I never thought we'd be able to."

Bella gave me a smile and said, "Always told you, you could."

I let out a soft chuckle. "Yes, you did. But, no, I don't regret it and I think we should talk about it, too. If anything, I'm not too happy about _where_ it happened. Your first time should have been in a bed, with candles, and music. Not in some shower."

"I don't care about where it happened or how it happened, Edward. All I care about is that it was with you," Bella whispered.

I leaned down and kissed her softly. It was the only thing I could think of to do. I was too happy to speak.

I brought my hand up to cup her cheek as I said, "I love you."

"I love you, too, so much," Bella stated with a smile that lit up the room.

_OK, Charlie just asked where Bella __is__. I told him she spil__led__ something on her shirt, so she's changing. If you guys aren't down here in five minutes he's going to start suspecting something._

"Ok, we're coming," I said to Alice, causing Bella to look at me in confusion. "We have to get downstairs; your father is starting to suspect something."

I watched as Bella's cheeks flushed, and I couldn't help but chuckle. "He doesn't know anything. Alice told him you spilled something on your shirt and you're changing, but we have to get back down there before he does figure it out."

Bella nodded her head as I leaned over and gave her a small kiss.

"I'm going to grab a towel, love,"

I jumped out of bed and raced to the bathroom to get us some towels. I was back in the room before Bella could even register I was gone; I didn't want her to have another panic attack. I gave Bella a small wink as I handed her a towel, which caused her to blush and bite her lip. We cleaned ourselves up before we both started to dress. I had to bite my lip and suppress a groan when I finished getting dressed and looked over at Bella. She had just finished pulling her jeans up her legs and buttoning them, and was now standing there in just jeans and her black bra. I watched as she walked over to my dresser, opened up the top drawer, and took one of my t-shirts out of it to wear for the illusion that she spilled something on her other one.

"So," Bella began as she pulled my t-shirt over her head. "Where did you learn _that_ position?"

I let out a laugh as I gathered up Bella's old shirt and the towels, before tossing them in my hamper. "Um." I let out a slight chuckle and whispered, "Emmett."

_No way! Which one?_

I rolled my eyes at my brother's thoughts while I watched Bella nod her head.

"Did you… enjoy it?" I didn't know why I was nervous, but I was.

Bella blushed, looked down at her feet before nodding, and said, "Yeah."

_You're welcome!_

I shook my head at my brother, reminding myself that I would have to deal with him later. Bella walked over to her bag, dug through it for a couple seconds until she removed a brush. She still had a slight tint to her cheeks and a small smile on her face as she brushed her hair and made her way over to the mirror. Things were starting to look up. That was until she looked at herself in the mirror. I watched as her eyes looked over her swollen cheek and the cut on her forehead.

"Bella?" I moved towards her, but stopped when she turned around.

The light that was in her eyes was now gone, replaced with pain and hurt. I was foolish to think that things would be ok after just one day.

"Are you ok, love?"

Bella gave me her best fake smile and muttered the two words I learned to hate.

"I'm fine."


	15. Chapter 14

**I wish I owned the Twilight world, but sadly I do not!**

* * *

**BPOV**

I would bet my life that my father knew what Edward and I were up to. When we walked down the stairs, I wanted to run back up them. Though my father hadn't said a word to us indicating that he knew, I swear he did.

"He doesn't know anything, love," Edward whispered in my ear. "But if you keep blushing, he might."

I kept my head down the entire time after that. It didn't help that everyone in the Cullen family had a knowing look on their face. While Carlisle and Esme put up a good front of _pretending_ they didn't know what Edward and I had just done, their children were quite different. Alice had a smile on her face like she always did, but her eyes were filled with amusement. Jasper gave me a wink, and then chuckled when he felt my embarrassment. Rosalie was, well, Rosalie. She stood at the counter with a blank expression on her face, but when I walked into the room, I could have sworn I heard her mumble about time. Emmett was the worst. As soon as I walked into the living room to get my father, he looked at me with this huge, knowing grin on his face. I almost died when he asked how my face felt. He must have seen my panicked look as my eyes shot to my father. Emmett just answered with a chuckle, "You know, your cut?" But that wasn't the worst part. When Charlie stood up he walked over to me and asked me the same thing, Emmett had to leave the room because he was laughing so hard.

"Not hungry, Bells?" Charlie asked.

My eyes snapped up from my food to look at my father. I was sitting at the Cullen dining room table with my father and Edward as we ate lunch. Well, my father and I did, Edward just watched.

I shrugged my shoulders and pushed my plate away. "I guess not."

I kept my head down. I could feel Edward's stare. I knew he didn't approve of me not eating, especially since the last time I ate anything was toast earlier that morning. But I really wasn't hungry. The little bit I did eat felt like it was sitting in my stomach in a huge ball not going anywhere.

"You should eat something, kid" Charlie stated before taking a bite out of his hot pork sandwich.

I let out a huff and leaned back in my chair. "I'll eat later."

I saw my father nod, he was always easy to convince. Edward, not so much. He continued to stare at me with a look that told me he didn't have to read my mind to know I was lying to make my father feel better.

I just shrugged my shoulders again before looking back down at my full plate.

"When we get home… erg… well, that is, if you're coming home?" Charlie asked hesitantly.

To be honest, I hadn't really thought about it. I guess I had two options, either I went home with Charlie or I stayed at the Cullens for a while. There really wasn't a difference. Edward would be with me either way.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

Charlie looked back and forth between Edward and I before saying, "I just didn't know what you guys, had decided."

"I'll come home and Edward will come with us," I said, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

I watched as Charlie took in this information. I knew he would feel unsure about Edward coming to stay with us, but I also knew that he knew if he said no, I would stay here at the Cullens, and he wanted me home with him.

"Ok, well, ugh." Charlie took a sip of his water before placing it down on the table, and I could have sworn I saw a smirk on Edward's face. "We could make up the couch for…"

"They don't sleep, dad," I said, cutting him off. "So, you don't have to worry about that."

Charlie looked over at Edward, baffled. "Ever?"

Edward shook his head. "No, not at all."

"Huh," Charlie responded, before taking another bite out of his sandwich.

We pulled up to our house around four o'clock in the afternoon. I stared at it through the window. I don't know why, but it looked different for some reason. I couldn't explain the difference in it, it just was. Or maybe it was me that was different. I didn't know. Before I could even reach for the handle, my door swung open, revealing Edward on the other side.

"Whoa," I heard Charlie mumble next to me, and I couldn't help but chuckle.

I gave my father a smile and said, "Yeah, it takes getting use to."

Edward offered me his hand as I stepped out of the car and shut it behind me. He was always the perfect gentleman and it was one of the million things I had missed about him. I managed another smile as he closed the door behind me. I heard Charlie start to speak but I couldn't tell you what he said. Because when I looked up, I froze in my spot. There, in front of my house, was my old beat up truck. The same truck that was given to me by my father when I first moved here and the same truck that was put back together by _him._ I squeezed my eyes shut and breathed deeply. I felt my palms start to become sweaty and my body began to vibrate.

"Bella? What's wrong?" I heard Edward ask followed by my father's worried voice.

"Bells?" Charlie asked next.

When I opened my eyes, I stared at the red truck I use to love. Flashes went through my mind of when I first got it, when I drove it to La Push, when we had the motorcycles in the back, when _he_ had to change the oil, all flashes I didn't want to see, flashes that reminded me of a person that disappeared a long time ago. My chin started to quiver and tears formed in my eyes as I stared at it. I didn't want it here. It reminded me of things I didn't want to remember.

"Get rid of it," I whispered.

"Of what?" Charlie asked, clearly confused, but I knew Edward knew what I was talking about.

I thought I heard Edward mumble to Charlie what I was talking about, but I couldn't be sure. I continued to stare at the offending truck as fear racked through my body.

"Bells, you love that truck," Charlie started. "Ever since I bought it off of Bi..."

And then he stopped. My breathing started to become heavier and I let out a sob. Tears were now flowing down my face as my father pulled me into his arms. Charlie stroked my hair as Edward rubbed small circles on my back.

"I'll get rid of it first thing tomorrow," I heard Charlie whisper before he kissed the top of my head. I just nodded my response and held onto him tighter.

* * *

**EPOV**

I wanted to give them some time alone together, but every time I tried to bring it up, Bella would get this look of complete panic on her face and silently beg me not to go. So, I sat there, Bella was always in my line of sight as she spoke with her father. Charlie, for the most part, was being very understanding. He wanted alone time with his daughter but understood she needed me around right now, so he wouldn't push it. He was just glad she was home. I tried not to listen in on their conversation as I busied myself with reading the paper. If I couldn't leave them alone physically, I would try to leave them alone conversationally. But even though the paper was in my hand, my thoughts were elsewhere. Bella and I would be having "the talk" tonight, and it made me quite nervous. She told me she didn't regret us making love, but I still had to wonder. I knew how girls envisioned their first time. I had seen it plenty of times over the years in the minds of all teenage girls, and not once was it something close to what we did. And then for me to take her again while both of our families were down stairs, I was ashamed of myself. Bella deserved better than that, she was upset and vulnerable, and I took advantage of that. I let my own lust get in the way of what Bella really needed, and I felt disgusted with myself. I felt eyes on me and looked up. Bella was giving me a glare that I had learned meant trouble. Sometimes, I wondered if she was really the mind reader.

"Well, I'm going to get to bed, Bells. Maybe you should do the same," Charlie suggested as he stood up from the table and pushed his chair in.

I watched as Bella nodded her head as she looked at the clock.

"Yeah, I will."

Charlie smoothed his mustache down and I had to suppress my smile as I read his thoughts.

"Ugh, door _open_, Bells."

My eyes connected with Bella's, and I swore I could see amusement.

"Of course, Dad," Bella responded.

Charlie nodded once before turning and heading up towards his bedroom. I watched him go before turning towards Bella and giving her a smile.

"Does he know you can read people's minds?" Bella asked in a whisper as she leaned forward.

I put the paper down on the table and shook my head. "No, I don't think he needs to know that."

Bella nodded her response before leaning back in the chair and looking around the house. I watched as she took in her surroundings, almost like she was looking at them for the first time. Her face was still blank of emotion and that killed me. I wanted her to speak to me, I wanted to know what she went through the past couple months, but I wouldn't push her. She would tell me in her own time, and I could learn to be patient, even if it killed me.

"You ok, love?" I asked as I reached out for her hand.

She looked down at our intertwined fingers before looking up at me. "I'm going to start charging people every time they ask me that."

"I guess we've been asking you that a lot lately?"

She gave me a half smile and said, "Little bit."

I looked down at our hands and almost sobbed when I saw my mother's engagement ring on her finger. It had survived through everything. I lifted Bella's hand up to my lips and kissed the ring. She was watching me with tears in her eyes.

"I turned it over, when he…." she trailed off before starting again. "I can't believe he never saw it. I lost the charm you gave me, though."

That was the first time I realized the bracelet Bella used to wear all the time, the one given to her by Jacob, was gone. My eyebrows came together in question.

"He ripped it off one night, said that the bracelet was tainted because I allowed you to put your charm there. He flushed it down the toilet."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. I just listened, but she was done talking. We sat there in silence for a minute more before I finally decided to speak. "Bella, you know if you wanted to talk about… what happened, you can."

Bella stared at me before looking down at her lap. I watched as she let out a little cough, licked her lips, and then looked back up out the window.

"I don't really want to talk…" she started as she shook her head, "about what happened. I just want to forget it."

I understood that. But talking was an important part of the healing process and she needed to get those things off of her chest. "Bella, it's not just going to go away. If you talk about it then…"

"Edward," she said firmly, cutting me off. "Don't, ok? Just leave it."

I let out breath and nodded my head. I would let it go for now. But eventually, she would have to talk about what happened.

"There is… one thing, I'd like to know," Bella whispered.

I nodded my head, "Anything, love."

Bella took a deep breath. "Jacob…. said that the pack was... watching… you guys. That they knew he took me, and they were ok with it."

I wanted to rip apart that dog's lifeless body. Who knew how many more lies he told her, and how those lies had affected her.

"No, Sam was never ok with what happened. He was actually here with Charlie right after it happened. It was never a doubt that what Jacob did was wrong."

I noticed how Bella flinched at the sound of his name and made a note to remind everyone to say it as less as possible. It was true that Sam never thought what Jacob did was right, but the rest of the pack was a different story. In Sam's mind, I found that the pack was split down the middle with what they thought. Quil, Embry, Seth, and Jared all were with Sam in thinking Jacob was sick. Paul, Colin, and Brady thought there was nothing wrong. Jacob wouldn't do that, and Bella finally decided to leave me to be with Jacob, I just couldn't handle the truth. Leah didn't care. She went where Seth went. That's why Sam chose Seth and Leah to go with him; they could be trusted to do the right thing. But Bella didn't need to know all those details. Bella nodded at my answer, and then looked back out the window. I could already feel the doors she was closing off to me and I didn't want that to happen.

"Bella," I said. She looked up at me. "What else did he tell you?"

I watched her take a deep breath, close her eyes, and shake her head. I squeezed her hand slightly to let her know I was there.

"I'm fine," she mumbled as she opened her eyes back up.

I was really starting to hate those words.

Bella started to yawn, she attempted to hide it, but I saw right through it.

"Ready for bed, love?"

Bella quickly shook her head. "I'm not tired."

My eyebrows rose up as I gave her a look that told her I didn't believe her. She just rolled her eyes in response and said, "I thought we were going to talk, anyway."

I leaned back in my chair and smiled. "Ah yes, the infamous _talk_."

My attempt at amusement seemed to work as Bella couldn't hide the small giggle that escaped between her lips. I let go of Bella's hand and rubbed the top of my thighs. I knew how I would start. I would apologize for how it had been, and where it had been. But before I could open my mouth, Bella beat me to it.

"If you apologize for anything that happened between us, I will slug you."

I let out a chuckle as I shook my head. Bella knew me so well.

"Look Edward, I wasn't lying when I said before that I don't regret what happened between us. All that ever mattered to me was that it was with you. But I know that it was your first time, too, and how you felt about the whole situation."

It was true. I was raised to believe that the intimate act of making love was reserved for the wedding night, which Bella and I had planned on doing before.

"So, I guess what all that's up for discussion is your feelings," Bella whispered.

It suddenly occurred to me, that even though I told her I didn't regret what happened between us, Bella still had some doubt.

"Bella," I started as I leaned forward and took both of her hands into my own. "Making love to you was one of the best moments in my life. I couldn't imagine my first time being with anyone but you."

Unshed tears were shining in her eyes as I reached up to stroke her cheek. I watched as Bella closed her eyes and leaned into my touch.

"I love you, Bella Swan," I whispered.

"I love you, too, Edward Cullen. More than you'll ever know."

Hours later, I held Bella in her bed as she slept soundly. I had finally convinced her to go up to her room to try and get some sleep after her eyes started to fight to stay open. She still argued against it, but after twenty minutes, she finally gave into sleep. I had a feeling I knew why Bella didn't want to sleep, though she never said anything. She was having nightmares, that I'm sure had been going on for months. I vowed right then that I would do everything I could to make them go away. I lay behind Bella with my arms wrapped around her. I never wanted to let her go. I missed the warmth of her body and steadiness of her heart as she slept. I breathed in the scent of her hair and couldn't help the smile on my face. After two months of torture, two months of not having her in my arms, she was finally here.

Home.

Safe, in my arms.

I heard Charlie move before he got out of his bed. He wanted to check on Bella. I let out a sigh. I didn't want to let Bella go, but I didn't think Charlie was ready to see Bella and me together in bed yet, no matter how understanding he had been lately. I gave Bella one final squeeze before slipping her out of my arms and moving quickly to the rocking chair in the corner. I watched as Bella whimpered in her sleep at the loss of my touch and it broke my heart.

"How is she?" Charlie asked as he stepped through Bella's bedroom door.

I looked over at Charlie as I answered, "She's ok. It took a while for her to fall asleep, but she hasn't woken up yet."

Charlie gave me a small nod before he sat down on the bed where I was just lying.

"How long has she been sleeping?" he asked as he stroked Bella's hair.

"About two hours," I answered.

Charlie didn't say anything for a long time after that. He just sat on the bed, stroking his daughter's hair, watching her sleep. There was something amazing about watching a father look after his daughter. The love Charlie felt for Bella was absolute and infallible. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her, and though he didn't show it all the time, Bella was Charlie's whole world.

"I can't begin to explain to you what it means to have her back," Charlie began, never taking his eyes off Bella. "And it's because of you." Charlie finally looked up at me. "You'll never know what that means to me."

I didn't answer him. I was afraid I would sob if I did. I wanted to tell him he shouldn't be thanking me. It was my fault she was taken in the first place. If I hadn't handed her off to that dog, she would have been safe.

Charlie sat in the room for an hour, just watching over Bella as she slept. When she started to stir, he would stroke her hair gently, and when she would talk in her sleep, he let out a slight chuckle.

"She gets that from her mother," he told me. "You could have full conversations with Renee in her sleep and she would never know. She used to wake me up all the time."

I smiled at the memories Charlie was having of himself and Renee. He was still in love with Bella's mother, after all those years. It wasn't hard to believe. If things had turned out differently between Bella and me, if Alice never would have seen her jump off the cliff, if I never came back to Forks, it wouldn't have matter how many years passed in between. I would love Bella for the rest of my life.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heart Bella's heart rate start to escalate. I stood from the chair and walked over to the bed.

"Charlie, she's having a nightmare."

He looked at me questiontngly but didn't ask. A second later, Bella started thrashing around in her sleep.

"No! Please! Jacob! Please!"

"Bells! Wake up, you're just dreaming, it's just a dream!"

Charlie tried to shake her awake as I knelt down on the floor beside her, taking her hand in my own and bringing it up to my mouth to kiss it. Bella's eyes shot open as her whole body jerked. She looked around the room with wide eyes until she finally registered her father's face and my own. She immediately broke down in tears and I wanted nothing more to scoop her up in my arms and never let her go. But I let her father handle it. Charlie wrapped his arms around Bella as she cried, all the while rocking her back in forth.

"Shh, it's ok, kiddo. You're home."

Bella sobbed in her father's arms as she kept a firm grip on my hand. I laid my forehead down to rest on our conjoined hands, feeling almost exhausted. Until Bella opened up about what happened with Jacob, she would never get better.


	16. Chapter 15

**I wish I owned the Twilight world, but sadly I do not!**

* * *

**BPOV**

**September**

_My eyes went wide and I stopped walking when I saw what Jacob was throwing into the fire. _

"_Jacob, no!"_

I snapped my eyes open with a gasp. I was back in my room. Not in a hotel room, but my own room. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to get the horrible smell out of my mind. It was the same nightmare, every night. No matter what I did, no matter how long or little I slept, I always had the same nightmare. Edward tried to get me to talk about it all the time, but I couldn't. Dreaming about it made me upset, so why would I want to talk about it? Especially when I found something much more pleasurable that made the pain go away.

Making love to Edward was the best thing that ever happened to me. Not only was he an amazing lover, but he had the ability to make me completely and utterly forget everything that happened to me over the summer. I was addicted to him, now more than ever. I craved his touch and took it whenever I could.

There was one time at his house when I had spent the night at his house, we were in the kitchen and I was eating breakfast. Carlisle was at work and the rest of his family were out hunting. I lifted my cup of coffee up to take a sip, but when the liquid hit my lips, I couldn't help the memory of Jacob's tongue on my mouth flash through my mind. The coffee wasn't hot anymore, but it wasn't exactly cold. I dropped the cup, causing the coffee to spill everywhere. Edward had rushed over to me, asking me what was wrong. Luckily, I was able to write it off as being clumsy. When it was cleaned up, I grabbed his face and started to kiss him. We made love on the kitchen table, and I didn't think about Jacob until later on that day.

There was another time when we were driving in the car, on our way back from our meadow. It was a perfect day. Edward and I had spent the whole day together, without any interruptions from anyone, just talking, and holding each other. But on the radio, some song came on where the word 'baby' was repeated over and over again. Flashes of all the 'pet names' Jacob had called me came crashing tumbling back to me and I almost had a panic attack. Edward asked me what was wrong, since he could hear my heart rate escalate, but I covered it up by kissing him on the neck and telling him I wanted him. We pulled over to the side of the road and I rode him in the front seat until we were both screaming in pleasure.

It wasn't that I didn't want Edward to know what I had gone through; I just found that there was no point talking about it. It was over and done with, and there was no need for Edward to get upset over it. There was one time when they tried to have me do some sort of 'therapy' session with Carlisle, where the end result was me sitting in Carlisle's office for an hour, staring at him, trying to assure him I was fine. I walked out of his office and into the living room where Edward was sitting with Alice and Jasper and told him to _never _make me do that again. Jasper must have told him how serious I was because after that day, the 'therapy' sessions were never tried again.

I reopened my eyes and let out a breath. It was time to get up for the day. It was then I realized Edward wasn't in the room with me. I looked around for him, but stopped when I saw a blue lily flower lying on the pillow next to me on top of a note. I smiled and whispered, "I'm fine. I'll be down in a minute."

I didn't know if he was in the house, but I knew if he was, he would have heard my gasp as I woke up and be worried. I rarely woke up screaming anymore, even though the nightmares were never ending, but it was a step. I seemed to be having them a lot lately. Edward didn't have to be within eye sight anymore. I could be alone and know everything was ok. Before, I couldn't even go to the bathroom without having a mini heart attack because Edward was standing outside the door and I couldn't see him. The first time we tried to do it was horrible. A chill went down my spine at that memory. We tried small at first, Edward was downstairs while I was up. I had one of the worst panic attacks I had ever had. I immediately started to panic and felt like I couldn't breathe. My sobs were so loud that I didn't realize Edward was back in the room until he was holding me in his arms rocking me back and forth. My hands shook for the rest of the day, and we didn't try again until Alice assured us it would be ok.

I picked up the lily and the note as I sat up on my bed. I brought the lily to my nose and breathed in its beautiful scent as I opened the piece of paper and saw Edward's beautiful handwriting.

**_I'm down stairs with your father. Come down when you're ready, beautiful._**

**_Happy Birthday._**

I let out a groan. I had almost forgotten it was my birthday today. I wanted to, but a certain pixie sized vampire would not let me. I lay back down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. I was nineteen today. The fact that I was still growing older pissed me off more than anything else. I had begged Edward a couple weeks ago to change me after I had woken up from my nightmare, more scared than I had ever been. If I wasn't human, then I couldn't sleep, and I wouldn't have any nightmares. He refused, of course, saying that it wasn't the right time. Deep down, I knew that. I was just upset about the nightmares and wanted them to go away. That was the day we had the conversation about our wedding. If everything had gone according to plan, we would be married by now and I would be a vampire. I tried to explain to him that I did still want to marry him, that I wasn't having second thoughts. But, with everything that happened, I felt that a wedding would be too much for me. In reply, Edward kissed me softly and said he couldn't agree more.

I let out one final huff and got out of bed. I grabbed my toiletry bag and headed for the bathroom. I decided that if they weren't going to ignore my birthday, then I was going to do what I wanted, and I wanted to stay in my flannel pajamas and Edward's t-shirt. I finished brushing my teeth, washing my face, and going to the bathroom in a relatively slow manner. Maybe if I was slow enough the day would go on without me and no one would notice I was still in my room. I could stay here all day and claim to be sick. As I made my way back into my room, I heard my computer chime. My brows knitted together in confusion as I walked over to it.

One new email.

I clicked on it and giggled. The email was from Alice and only had one sentence.

_I know you're not sick._

I swore that girl was going to be the death of me. I put my toiletry bag back down on my top of my dresser, grabbed my lily, and made the fateful trip downstairs. I heard whispers coming from the kitchen and couldn't help the smile on my face. Ever since I had been back, things between Edward and my father had been fantastic. When Charlie called Edward's cell phone for me, because I had still yet to replace mine, they usually talked for a good five to ten minutes before I got on the phone, and they always had their own conversations going on while we were all together. I remembered the day when Charlie needed help packing his cruiser up to go fishing and came in to ask Edward for help. "Son, can you give me a hand for a second?" he asked. The smile on Edward's face was the biggest I had ever seen, and didn't go away for the rest of the day.

I walked into the kitchen and my eyebrows went up at the sight before me. Edward and Charlie were fussing over something on the table I couldn't see, both whispering and scolding each other. I knew Edward knew I was there, but he must have enjoyed the bantering with my father because it was a good ten seconds before he whispered loudly to Charlie, "She's here!"

Both Charlie and Edward turned around to face me, looking guilty. I let out a chuckle and shook my head.

"And what are you two up to?" I asked as I crossed my arms across my chest, careful not to crush my flower.

Edward looked to the ground with a smile with his arms behind his back as Charlie wrung his hands together. After a minute of neither one of them answering, I let out another giggle but tried to cover it with a cough. I couldn't help it. I was always like that when I saw my father and Edward together like that. It was what I always wanted.

"Well?" I asked, trying to hide my smile, but failing.

"Happy Birthday!" Charlie exclaimed loudly as he walked up and pulled me into a tight hug.

I laughed once and gave my father a hug back. "Thanks, Dad."

Charlie pulled away from me and moved to my side. "We made you breakfast!"

I looked between the two with a raised eyebrow. "The man who eats out every night of the week and the other man who doesn't eat, made me breakfast?"

"You could give us more credit than that, love" Edward said with a smile. I noticed his arms were still behind his back, and I began to become suspicious.

"You both do remember that I _hate_ my birthday, right?"

"Oh, Bells, come on!" Charlie started as he put his arm around my shoulder. "It's nothing fancy! In fact, I think you might approve!"

Charlie gestured toward the kitchen table as Edward stepped away to show my breakfast. A cup of coffee and a plate with two Pop Tarts sat there next to a small bouquet of blue and white lilies.

I let out a laugh and said, "Thank you. That is great."

I leaned up and gave my father a kiss on the cheek before I walked over to Edward. I smiled up at him before giving him a quick kiss and whispering, "Good morning."

"Good morning, love. How did you sleep?"

I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at the flower in my hand. Edward knew about my nightmares and was waiting anxiously, like myself, for them to go away. He let out a sigh and nodded his head. I knew what he was thinking. He was thinking that if I talked about what happened, the nightmares might stop, but I knew that was wrong.

"Thank you for the flower and flowers," I said gesturing to both the flower in my hand and the flowers on the table.

"You're welcome," Edward responded.

I turned towards the kitchen table and watched as Edward pulled the chair out for me. I sat down and took a bite out of my Pop Tart as Charlie sat down next to me.

"I think we did ok with the Pop Tart, right?" Charlie asked with a smirk as he picked up his paper.

I chuckled and nodded. "Best Pop Tart ever."

Both Charlie and Edward chuckled as Edward took a seat on the other side of me at the round table.

"At least you guys didn't get me any presents!" I said with a sigh of relief as I took a sip of my coffee.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw both men stiffen, and I had to suppress the groan I wanted so badly to give. My eyes suddenly focused on Edward's arms that were still hiding.

"What did you guys do?"

"Well," Charlie began with a slight cough. "We know how much you hate people spending money on you. So, this present is from both of us."

I watched as Edward presented a box wrapped in red and pink paper. I stared at the offending object like it was going to attack me. They knew how to torture me.

"Are you going to open your present, love?"

I looked up at Edward and gave him a mock glare. "You're loving this aren't you?"

Edward just chuckled and pushed the box closer to me. I took another bite of my Pop Tart before I grabbed the box and brought it to me. I started to slowly unwrap it, being careful not to get another paper cut. Once the paper was gone, my eyes went wide. In my hands was a cardboard box with a picture of an iPhone on it.

"It's one of those new iPhones they have out now," Charlie explained. "Apparently, you can do all sorts of things with it."

"What am I going to do with an iPhone?" I asked as I stared at the box like it was a foreign object.

"Make calls! You needed a new one, Bells. So, Edward bought the phone and I put you under my plan and will pay for it every month. Look, I even got a new phone, too!" Charlie explained as he showed me his phone.

It was a simple silver flip phone. I was immediately jealous.

"Why do you get a simple phone and I get this?" I whined as I looked back and forth between Charlie's phone and the box in front of me.

I heard Edward chuckle beside me as he took the box from my hand. "It's a nice phone, love. You'll have everything you need on it and a little extra."

I watched as Edward took the phone out of the box, along with its charger and manual.

"I'm not even going to know how to use it!"

"That's why you read the manual," Edward explained as he plugged the charger into the wall, then into the phone. I took another bite as I watched Edward power on the phone. I decided to keep my mouth shut about it, because it could have been a lot worse. For days, Edward has been begging me to let him buy me car, that I downright refused. Sure, I missed having my own vehicle, but wasn't like I drove anywhere without Edward, anyway, and if I needed to, I could always borrow his Volvo. I tried to explain this to him, of course, but he still wanted to buy me one. My thoughts were interrupted by a chime coming from the phone.

"What was that?" I heard Charlie ask.

"A text message," Edward answered as he moved his fingers around the phone.

"Who the hell is texting me already? I just got the phone!"

Edward smiled and turned the phone towards me. There, on the screen, was an open text message.

_**HAPPY BIRTHDAY! First text message on the new phone! I know my bro's jealous! Love ya, sis! See ya later! – Emmett**_

I laughed along with Charlie as Edward showed him the message, too.

"That boy is really something else," Charlie replied as he folded his paper, then stood up. "Well, I've got to get to work. I hope you liked your breakfast and present."

I nodded my head. "They were great, Dad, thanks."

"I'll meet you at the Cullens for dinner tonight," Charlie said as he leaned down and gave me a kiss on the forehead. "Don't forget to call your mother, she's called twice already."

I assured him I would, then waved goodbye. I looked back over at Edward and took his hand in my own.

"Thank you for my present,"

Edward brought my hand up to his mouth, kissed it softly, and said, "You're welcome. Although, I would have rather gotten you something else."

I rolled my eyes and took my hand away. "You're not buying me a car, so just get that right out of your head."

I finished my Pop Tarts and coffee as Edward read over the manual of my new iPhone. I would probably never understand that phone and spend forever just trying to figure out how to make a call. I watched as Edward put the manual and the phone down and brought his hands together on top of the table. His eyebrows were together and his face had a look of concentration on it. There was something on his mind and he was debating on whether or not to bring it up.

"Just say it, Edward," I said as I leaned forward on my elbows. "Because whatever has you thinking so hard, I'm sure I can think of something else that's much more fun."

I wiggled my eyebrows and bit my lip. I could feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment. It didn't matter how many times Edward and I had sex, I was still nervous as ever to talk about it.

Edward chuckled, and took my hand back in his.

"While that sounds amazing," Edward whispered as he leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss, "there is something I would like to talk to you about."

"What's up?"

Edward took a deep breath, squeezed my hand, and looked back up at me. "I didn't want to bring this up today, on your birthday, but I tried to talk to you about it the other day and you kind of freaked out."

I snatched my hand away from him and sat back on the seat, looking down. I knew exactly what he wanted to talk about, and the bile started to rise in my throat as I remembered the fight that we got into just a month ago.

"_I just think that it might help," Edward explained. "Might give you some closure, love."_

_I shook my head and crossed my arms. "I don't need closure. I'm fine! Why won't you believe me?" _

_Edward took a hesitant step towards me with his hands reached out as if he was going to touch me. My eyes were filled with unshed tears._

"_I don't want to go," I whispered. _

_Edward put his hands on my shoulders. "I can't imagine what you're going through, Bella. But I know you. No matter what happened in the past, if you don't go to Jacob's funeral, you're going to regret it for the rest of your life."_

_I looked away from him as a single tear fell from my face. Why was he trying to make me do this? _

_I shook my head again. "No, I'm not going!" I yelled as I backed away from Edward and started to pace. "Why is this so important to you? Huh? Did you forget what he _did _to me! How he _took _me! Why the hell would I want to go to his funeral after that?" _

_I was screaming as tears came down my face, but I didn't care. There was no way in hell I was going to that funeral._

"_You think I forgot what he did to you? Are you serious? Bella, I'm trying to do this for you!" Edward cried out._

"_No you're not! You're doing this for you!" I screamed as I shook my head. "Because I don't _want_ to go, and you obviously don't care about what I want!" _

_I watched as Edward's eyes darkened and his body went stiff. The second the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. I even knew as I was saying them they were a lie, but I was so hurt and upset that I didn't know what else to do. All these emotions were coming at me and I didn't know how to handle them all at once. I silently wished Jasper was here._

"_You think I don't care about what you want?" Edward asled in a low, forceful tone. "All I care about is what you want!"_

_I looked him in the eyes as fresh tears came down. "You can't make me go," I whispered._

_Edward's eyes softened as he stepped closer to me and grabbed my hands. "Love, I would _never make_ you do anything. I just thought it would help. He was your best friend."_

_I looked down at our hands because I knew he was right. Edward would never force me to do anything, he was just trying to help. I sniffled and looked back up at him._

"_You're wrong. My best friend died a long time ago. I don't know who that person is in that casket."_

"Bella, it's been a month," Edward whispered.

I clenched my jaw and looked up at him. Why he insisted on bringing this up every other week was beyond me. My answer would never change.

"I don't want to visit his grave, Edward. I'm fine," I stated firmly. "When are you going to let it go?"

"When are you going to start talking about what happened?"

I let out an annoyed huff and looked away. He knew this always started a fight between us, yet he constantly brought it up. Why couldn't he see that I was fine?

_Maybe because you're not fine, but you keep telling yourself that you are._

I gritted my teeth at the voice in my head and ignored it. I was fine. I had to be.

"There's nothing to talk about. It happened, it's over with, move on. That's what I'm doing, why can't you see that?"

I watched as Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and I had to force myself not to cry. He always did that when he was annoyed with me. Annoyed with stupid, plain, human Bella. The tears were getting harder to hold back and I had to bite my lip to keep from sobbing.

"I'm not annoyed with you, so stop thinking that," Edward whispered.

I looked up to see him staring at him with soft eyes. Sometimes, I swore he could read my mind. Before I could say anything else, the house phone rang, ending our conversation. I probably should have gotten up to get it, but I honestly didn't have the energy. The phone rang two more times before Edward let out a sigh and walked over to it.

"Swan Residence… Hello, Renee… I'm well, how are you?"

I rolled my eyes. Of course it was my mother. She was never known for patience. As I listened to Edward make small talk with my mother, I couldn't help but go over the almost argument we just had. It seemed like lately, Edward and I were arguing a lot more than usual. Or should I say, it seemed like lately, I couldn't go forty-eight hours without snapping at him for something. I knew when I was doing it that it was wrong. He was only trying to help me, but I was so annoyed with myself that I couldn't help it. No matter how much I tried to fool myself, the truth was that I wasn't getting better. The nightmares were still as strong as ever, and the littlest things still set me off. True, I learned to control my reactions to them, so that others around me wouldn't notice, but they were still there. And it pissed me off. I needed to get better. Now, not later, because it was taking a toll on my relationship with Edward, and I didn't know how much longer he would want to stay with someone so messed up.

"Bella?"

I looked back to see Edward standing behind me, holding out the phone.

"Your mom wants to talk to you."

I lifted myself out of the seat and moved towards the phone. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to her, but she would just keep calling either way. As I lifted my hand to take the phone away from Edward, his own hand shot out and gently grabbed my wrist.

"I'm sorry, love. I just worry about you. I don't want to fight," he whispered as his thumb rubbed my wrist.

Unshed tears shined in my eyes as I said, "I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean to snap at you."

Edward then leaned in and gave me a soft kiss, causing all the worries and doubt in my mind to wash away for that moment.

Later, I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off before putting a towel around myself. Edward and I had strict orders to be at the Cullens at five o'clock sharp. Though I wanted to drag myself along and be late, Edward wasn't having it. Apparently, Alice had already called, threatening to drag me out of the house by any means necessary. When would that family ever learn that I _hated_ my birthday? I brushed my teeth as I tried to think of ways that I could convince Edward that we should just stay in together. I knew none of them would work, and Alice would probably destroy every plan. She wanted to celebrate my birthday even though I wanted to forget it. As hard as I tried, I couldn't help the memories of my last birthday come to my mind. What if something like that happened again? Would Edward leave me again? My hands started to shake and I tried to control my breathing. I squeezed my eyes shut as I remembered the words he told me.

_Bella, I don't want you to come with me._

I quickly moved for the drinking glass on the sink. I needed to calm down. I filled up the glass as best as I could while my hands were still shaking.

_He's with me, he's here, he loves me. _

I repeated that over and over in my head as I took a sip of the water. I kept trying to will myself to calm down, but it wasn't happening. I couldn't let Edward see me like this. He couldn't see that I was this weak.

_You're not good for me, Bella._

I didn't realize I dropped the glass until I heard it shattering in the sink. I looked down and saw pieces of ragged glass everywhere.

"Great," I mumbled to myself.

"Bella? Everything alright?"I heard Edward call from the other side of the door.

"Yeah," I called out, trying to keep my voice from sounding anything but normal as I started to pick up the pieces of broken glass separately. "Just me being my normal clumsy self."

"Do you need any help?"

I continued to grab the large pieces of glass, with the intent to throw them away.

"No, I'm…"

When I looked back up at the mirror, I couldn't help the scream that escaped my mouth. There, behind me, was Jacob. The look on his face was dark and angry. I turned around, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Bella? What's wrong?" Edward was now standing next to me, shaking my shoulders.

Tears streaked down my face as I looked around the bathroom to make sure Jacob truly wasn't there. I could feel myself shaking as sobs started to rack through my body. I slid to the floor, suddenly too exhausted to stand. Edward was talking to me, but I couldn't make out what he was saying. Jacob was there, standing right behind me.

"Love, you have to open your hand for me." Edward's voice was finally coming through to me.

Why did I have to open my hand? I looked down and my eyes went wide. The hand with the glass in it was squeezed shut with blood dripping from it. The pain finally started to register.

"Oh god, Edward, get out of here!" I cried out as I tried to push him away, but, of course, he didn't budge.

"Bella, stop! I have to check and see if you need stitches," I heard him say as he pulled my hand towards him.

I winced in pain as I slowly opened my fist to see the glass covered in blood. I hadn't even realized I was squeezing it when it happened. Silent tears came down my face as Edward softly examined my hand.

"What happened? Why did you scream?" Edward asked in a whisper as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

I debated on whether I should tell him or not. If I didn't tell him, he would try to get it out of me until either I gave in, or screamed at him. But if I did tell him, what would he think? Feeling completely exhausted, I made my decision.

I sniffed before whispering, "I saw Jacob."

Edward's eyes came together in confusion. "What? Where?"

"Here," I answered. "Right behind me, and I just got scared."

"Oh, Bella," Edward said as he pulled me into his arms.

I closed my eyes and drank in his scent. It made me feel so safe.

"Jacob's gone; he can't get to you anymore."

I stayed silent as he rocked me back and forth. My hand was throbbing but I didn't care. Being in Edward's arms was the only place I wanted to be.

Edward pulled back and said, "Carlisle is here. Alice called him and told him about your hand. He wants to clean it up."

I nodded my head and let Edward help me stand.

"Come on; let's get you dressed so he can take a look at it."

* * *

**EPOV**

_**Two weeks later**_

I let out a grunt as I pumped into Bella one final time before exploding in ecstasy. I would never get over how wonderful she felt and how every time we were together it felt like heaven. I rolled over onto my back, pulling her into my arms. We were both breathing erratically and her forehead was covered in sweat.

"You're really good at that," Bella breathed as she wrapped her arms around my waist.

I let out a laugh and kissed her forehead. "So are you."

A second later, Bella gave me a quick kiss before jumping out of bed and gathering her clothes.

"Where's the fire?" I asked as I watched her run around trying to find everything she had wore that day.

"I'm helping Esme with her garden today, remember?" Bella answered as she pulled her pants up.

"So, that's it? You get what you want out of me then leave me?" I asked with a smirk as I put my hands behind my head.

Bella threw on her shirt and gave me a smile as she walked back over to the bed. My smile grew wider as she leaned down, her face inches from mine.

"Something like that," she whispered.

My face changed into a look of shock as Bella let out a little giggle. She gave me a quick kiss before jogging out of the room. I let out a sigh of content as I looked up at the ceiling. It had been a few weeks since Bella's birthday and things had been relatively normal. She still hadn't talked about what happened and still refused to visit Jacob's grave, but she seemed to be doing ok. I tried to get her to talk every day, but nothing seemed to be working. I knew I should be trying harder, but the light in her eyes goes away every time I bring it up and I can't help but hate myself for doing it. I just wanted Bella to be happy.

_I would like to speak with you, so get dressed._

I rolled my eyes as I sat up in bed. I pulled on my jeans and told my sister to come in as I buttoned them up.

"Rosalie, to what do I owe the pleasure?" I said sarcastically as I started to pick up the rest of my clothes.

"Looks to me like you already got your pleasure," Rose answered.

I let out a small growl towards her, which she answered with a raise of the eyebrow.

"What do you want, Rose?"

"We need to talk," she answered softly. I searched her mind for what she wanted to talk about, but came up with nothing but pictures of a naked Emmett.

"Jesus, Rose! I don't need to see that!" I cried out as I put my shirt on.

"Well, then, stop trying to figure out what I want to talk about and just listen!"

I let out a huff and sat down on the edge of my bed. She stared at me for a couple seconds before I gave her a signal to continue.

"Please tell me you know what's going on?"

I looked at her confused before I shrugged my shoulders. "What's going on with what?"

Rosalie's eyebrows shot up in disbelief. "Are you really _that_ stupid?"

I gritted my teeth together in frustration and locked my jaw. It took every ounce of restraint I had not to walk out that room.

Rosalie shook her head and started again, "Has Bella talked at all? Has she told you anything that happened when Jacob took her?"

"She doesn't want to talk about it, you know that. That doesn't mean I'm not trying."

"She needs to talk about it," Rosalie said as she crossed her arms.

"What do you want me to do? Force her to talk about it? She'll talk when she's ready to talk!" I hissed in frustration.

"And when do you think that will be?"

I shook my head and stood up. I didn't need or want to listen to that, especially from Rosalie.

"When she's ready, Rose. God, what do you want from her?"

"I want her to get better! But she's not going to since she found a fun new addiction to take her mind off of her problems!" Rosalie hissed at me.

I was confused. What was Rosalie talking about? I searched her mindm but all I could find was her memories of all the times she heard Bella and me making love. My anger escalated.

"Who the _hell_ do you think you are? Those are private times between me and my fiancée! You have _no_ right to be thinking about them!" I yelled as I brought my face inches from hers.

"First, back the hell off!" she yelled and pushed against my chest. I stepped back, only because I didn't want Emmett to come crashing into my room. A quick sweep of all the minds in the house told me that it was just me, Rosalie, Esme, and Bella in the house.

"Second, since you _are_ that dumb! I will tell you why I'm thinking about those private times! You're _fiancée_ is sick, Edward. She went through a traumatic experience and she needs to talk about it! She doesn't need to be using sex as a means to forget about it!"

I was taken back. What the hell was she talking about? I started to get mad again.

"What are you talking about?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes and pointed to my bed. "Sit," she commanded, and I couldn't help but obey.

"Bella doesn't want to talk about what happened. She wants to forget it ever happened and move on. But it doesn't work like that. Trust me, I know. Her memories will continue to haunt her, until she lets them go. But she's not seeing that right now, because she found something to make her forget. Bella is using sex to run from her fears."

I listened as Rosalie explained herself with a blank expression. I knew Bella wanted to forget everything, but using sex to run from it? Why didn't I see that?

"Think about it, Edward. Why did she come up here a little bit ago? Did she say?"

I remembered how Bella had run into my room not too long ago. She was out of breath and her heart was racing. I had asked her what was wrong and she jumped into my arms, attacking me with her mouth, until we both tumbled over onto the bed. I didn't think anything of it. Then a vision of what happened between Rosalie and Bella right before that came to my sight as Rosalie remembered it.

_Bella and Rosalie were sitting in the living room watching TV. Ever since Bella had gotten back, Rosalie tried to make it a point to spend some time with her and get to know her. Though those times mostly ended in awkward silence between the two; I had to thank my sister for actually trying. Bella wasn't going anywhere, and the sooner she saw that, the better. Some kind of action movie was on, when suddenly it went to a commercial and a preview of a new horror movie that showed a scene with a huge werewolf. Bella started to immediately freeze up and began to have a panic attack. Rosalie rushed to her side, asking her if she was ok and if she should get me. Bella had shook her head, reassuring her she was fine, and said she would go to me herself. She thanked Rosalie for her help and dashed up the stairs._

I stared at my sister in shock. I had no idea that had happened. I was in my room listening to music, successfully drowning out the noises around me in order to give Bella and Rosalie some time alone together.

"Look back on it. Nine out of ten times, what happened right before you two had sex?"

Visions of all the times Bella and I made love came to my mind as I remembered everything that happened right before. I had been so blinded with wanting Bella to be happy that I couldn't see what was right in front of me. Rosalie was right.

"You need to do something, Edward. She can't keep doing this."


	17. Chapter 16

**I wish I owned the Twilight world, but sadly I do not!**

* * *

**EPOV**

**October**

I looked down at Bella as she slept in my arms. It was the only time she ever looked peaceful, and I drank in every second of it. It had been a week since my conversation with Rosalie and it was now the beginning of October. I knew what I had to do and I hated myself for doing it. I had tried to start the conversation many times, but failed with each time. I loved the happiness that shined in Bella's eyes during and after we made love and was scared it would go away. I tried to tell myself that Rosalie was mistaken, that Bella wasn't using sex as a means to forget, but every time I went through it in my head, I knew she was right. I wanted help with the conversation, but Alice had been successfully ignoring me ever since I had decided I was going to say something to Bella, which only meant one thing; she knew how it was going to happen. When I tried to find her at the house, she was either hunting or out with Jasper, and when I tried to call her, she didn't answer and would only send a text saying, 'You're getting no help'. I had thrown my phone against the wall at that. Here I was, not knowing if I was doing the right thing or not, and Alice wouldn't even give me a clue. I did speak to Carlisle about it; he noticed it, too, and seemed to agree with Rosalie.

"_You have to say something, son. This isn't helping her healing process," Carlisle told me in a calmed tone._

"_She's going to think I don't want to make love to her anymore," I whispered with my head in my hands._

"_Then, you'll just have to reassure her that is not the case. You're trying to help her."_

Bella and I had made love five times since then. I wasn't lying when I said I tried to bring up the conversation, I did. The first time we made love after my conversation with Rosalie, was that very night. Bella and I were lying on the couch in her living room, watching TV when she suddenly turned around and started to kiss me. There was no sign that anything was wrong, other than she wanted me. We made love quickly, just wanting to feel each other. It wasn't until later that night when Bella was sleeping that I realized what we were watching. It was some TV show where some teenage girl had to choose between her boyfriend and the new love for her best friend. I tried to talk to her about it the next day, but she just said she needed to feel me.

The second time was two days later. It was the middle of the night at my house and I had decided to jump in the shower real quick while Bella slept. I heard her before she even opened the door. She slipped into the shower with me and asked me to make love to her. I was weak and couldn't resist. Later, when we were lying in bed, I attempted to start the conversation again, but she just said she couldn't sleep without me next to her. Her eyes began to flutter shut, and I let her fall asleep.

The third time was the only time I couldn't find any reason, other than we just got caught up in the moment. It was one of her better days. It was the end of the day and we were lying in bed, talking. I told her how much I loved her and how I couldn't wait to marry her. She had the most beautiful smile on her face the entire time. I gave her a quick kiss to say goodnight, which quickly turned into me moving slowly in and out of her as I professed my love for her.

The fourth time we were in our meadow. It was a beautiful day. Bella had barely slept the night before, tossing and turning because of her nightmares. She opened up a little to me that day, telling me that she wished the nightmares would just stop. She admitted that she was having the same nightmare over and over, though she wouldn't tell me what it was. When I tried to push the subject, she rolled over on top of me, stating there were much more interesting things to do than talk. It was the first time I mentioned her using sex as an excuse to not talk. Bella snapped back with a look on her face that broke my heart. She immediately started to deny those accusations, saying she just wanted to make love to her future husband. I gave in right away.

The final time was yesterday. While we didn't exactly make love, we did have a sexual encounter. We were food shopping and ran into Sue Clearwater. Sue immediately enveloped Bella into a hug, asking her how she was doing and told her how Seth really wanted to talk to her. Bella put up a good front of talking to her until Leah was brought up. Sue explained that Leah went to go spend some time with Sue's sister in Seattle. Bella listened intently before Sue stated she had to go. Bella whispered to me that she felt sick and I rushed her to the stores bathroom. I tried to talk to her about it, but she refused. I couldn't stop the helplessness I felt as she wrapped her arms around me, begging me to tell her I loved her. I did without question. We began to kiss heavily and moments later, she tried to get me to make love to her right there in the bathroom, but I refused. I almost lost it when she shoved my hand in her pants and I felt how ready she was. I brought her to a quick release with my hand, and I hated myself for the rest of the day.

It wasn't that I was regretting our encounters, I was regretting that I wasn't strong enough to stop them. Bella was using sex to forget about what happened to her, and I wasn't doing anything to stop it. I was a horrible person. I knew I couldn't continue condoning her actions - I knew I had to help her.

I would do it tomorrow.

Tomorrow night.

The day after tomorrow, definitely.

Bella began to stir in her sleep as her heart rate picked up. She was having another nightmare. I looked at the clock and saw she had only been asleep for two hours. The nightmares were becoming more frequent.

"Shhh, love. You're ok," I whispered as I brushed the hair out of her face.

My heart broke as she began to whimper, "No, please, no!"

I rocked her in my arms, trying to calm her. "It's just a dream, Bella. You're safe."

She began to immediately jerk in her sleep as she screamed at the top of her lungs. This was the worst I had seen her in a long time. I thanked the heavens Charlie had to work the night shift at the station. I started to shake her shoulders to try and get her to wake up.

"Bella, love, please wake up!" I said louder.

Bella continued to scream for a couple more seconds before her eyes flew open. She looked around the room before her eyes settled on mine. She immediately broke down in tears before curling herself into my chest and sobbing loudly.

I wrapped my arms around her again as I kissed the top of her head. "It's ok. You're safe. I'm here."

Sobs racked through Bella's body and it made me want to die. I didn't know what else to do but hold her and be there for her. She needed to talk about what had happened; that was the only solution. I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt Bella's shaking hands start to unbutton my shirt.

My hands shot out to stop her. "What are you doing?"

"I need you, Edward. Please," Bella pleaded as she tried to continue to unbutton my shirt.

"No, Bella. You're upset, we can't do this"

Bella looked up at me with her big, beautiful, brown eyes that were filled with tears and I felt my entire body ache.

"Please, Edward. Make this go away. Please. I need you," Bella pleaded with me as tears ran down her face.

_Forgive me_, I thought to myself as I leaned down to kiss her. I tasted the salt from her tears on her lips and felt as she continued to work on my shirt. I wished I could have been stronger. It would have lessened the blow later, if I was. But, I was just as selfish as she. Within seconds, we were both relieved of all our clothes and then I was pushing myself inside of her.

Bella moaned in pleasure when I was finally fully inside of her. I wanted to say I was doing this for her, but I was lying. This was for me. I needed to feel her one last time, before I did what I knew I was going to do.

"Make me forget, Edward," Bella moaned into my ear as I moved in and out of her.

_I will, my love. One more time._

* * *

**BPOV**

I walked down the stairs of my house, rubbing my eyes. I knew it was early; but Edward was nowhere to be seen. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I made my way to the living room where I could hear the TV. A small smile came to my face when I saw my father passed out in his recliner, still dressed in his police uniform. I walked over and grabbed the remote to turn the TV off. There would be no point in waking him, he would just stay up for the rest of the day and my father needed his sleep. As I untied his boots, I couldn't help but think about last night. The nightmare was stronger than it had ever been, but the worst part was how I acted after it. Surely, Edward would have something to say about how I acted, but I couldn't help it. I was shaking and scared and I needed to feel reassurance from him. I would have to think of something to say to him if he brought it up. Which got me back to wondering where he was. He was always either with me or down stairs with my father. But he wasn't in either place. I started to wonder if it had anything to do with how I acted last night. I would really have to do some work to make him forget about it and not ask questions. Just as I pulled the blanket up and over my father, the front door opened and Edward walked through. The smile on my face almost hurt as I walked over to greet him.

"I was wondering where you went," I told him as I leaned up to give him a quick kiss.

Edward rubbed his hands up and down my arms. "I just went out to hunt real quick. Sorry I wasn't here when you woke up."

I nodded and let out a sigh. I felt utterly guilty when he went out to hunt. Edward hadn't been out for a proper hunt since before I was taken and I knew he was probably growing tired of the limited selection in Forks. I tried to convince him that it would be ok and he could go hunt, but I could barely convince myself that it was ok, and he could tell. The first month was the hardest. His eyes would be completely black from thirst, but he couldn't leave because of me and my stupid panic attacks. Carlisle would give him bottles of deer blood so he could manage. I'd never forgiven myself for doing that to him.

"Let's go to my house. Emmett and Rose want to go to the movies," Edward said with a small smile.

Later that night, Edward and I were lying on his bed, listening to music. We had just gotten back from seeing the new Nightmare on Elm Street and surprisingly, it didn't cause any panic attacks. The movie was ok. The original, of course, was better, but I was happy to be able to sit there and enjoy a movie with Edward and his family.

"Did you like the movie?" Edward asked me softly before giving me a kiss on the forehead.

"Yeah," I answered. "Was it just me or did the guy in the beginning look just like Emmett only with blonde hair?"

Edward chuckled. "Yeah, Rose thought that, too."

We lay there in silence for a little while longer, just enjoying the feel of being in each other's arms. I could tell there was something on Edward's mind. He had been acting weird all day, but I couldn't get up the nerve to ask him about it. I just knew it had to do with last night and I didn't want him thinking of it. I didn't know how I knew, but I could tell he was about to bring it up, and I had to distract him from it. I turned slightly and started to kiss up his neck. Edward's skin, though cold as ice, tasted sweet. I would never get tired of it. As my hand made its way to the buttons of his shirt, I felt his grip on my wrists. I stopped kissing him and looked up, confused.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"We need to talk," Edward stated before he got out of the bed and stood up.

I bit my lip and sat up. "About what?"

_That's good, Bella_, I thought to myself. _Just act stupid._

"What was last night, Bella?"

I looked down at my hands to try and find a distraction. "A nightmare." I shrugged my shoulders. "I have them every night, you know that."

"That's not what I'm talking about," Edward whispered.

Of course I knew that wasn't what he was talking about, but he didn't know that.

"Edward, it was nothing. Don't make a big deal out of it."

Edward let out a breath and looked to the ground. "Bella, what happened when Jacob took you?"

My whole body went tense and my breath caught in my throat. My face turned hard and my voice sounded cold. "I don't. Want. To. Talk. About. It."

"You need to talk about it."

I shook my head and stood up. "I don't _need_ to talk about anything! I'm fine! Why can't you understand that?"

"You're not fine, stop saying that! Bella, your nightmares are getting worse, and if you think I haven't noticed that little things still set you off, you're mistaken."

I tried not to look shocked. I thought I was hiding it pretty well. Edward shook his head again.

"This isn't how I wanted to do this."

I started to panic. Do what? What was he trying to do? Was he leaving me? My breathing started to pick up as my thoughts went in every direction. I had finally done it. I was too broken, too immoral for him to want to be with me.

"Are you leaving me?" I asked in a whisper.

"What?" Edward asked me with a look of disbelief on his face. "No, Bella. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, I love you."

I let out a sigh of relief and my breathing became normal again. Edward put his hands on my face and rubbed his thumbs over my cheeks.

"I'm never going to leave you again. I promise."

I nodded my head and gave him a kiss. I tried to turn the kiss passionate, but Edward put a stop to it. I let out a groan of frustration and pulled away.

"Why do you keep stopping me?"

Edward closed his eyes for a second before pulling away and looking me in the eye. "Because we can't do this anymore."

My brows came together in confusion. "Do what?"

"You're not talking about what happened, and you need to be. I thought I would give you some time, but you're avoiding it." Edward took a deep breath. "And you're using sex as a way to forget."

My eyes went wide. He was crazy. I wasn't doing that.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Last night was just…" I tried to find the words I wanted to say, but they escaped me.

"Last night was the perfect example, and I shouldn't have given in like I did," Edward whispered.

I took a step back. I didn't know what he was saying, but it sounded like he regretted making love to me last night. I knew it. I knew he didn't enjoy it.

"We can't make love anymore until you talk about what happened."

I shook my head in disbelief as tears started to cloud my vision. I couldn't believe this was actually happening.

"Bella, please listen to me," Edward pleaded. "I know what you're thinking."

I let out a dry laugh. "You actually think I could form a thought right now?"

Edward took a step towards me, attempting to reach out, but I flinched back. I saw the hurt look in his eyes, yet I couldn't seem to bring myself to apologize. I felt so betrayed and so hurt. Tears started to spill down my face as I tried to look anywhere but at Edward. It seemed like my whole world was falling apart and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Jacob's voice rang through my head.

_He doesn't love you._

My hands made their way to my hair as I pulled at the roots.

_He doesn't want you._

"Shut up," I mumbled as I shook my head back and forth.

"Love, please, I'm so sorry," I heard Edward whisper but I wasn't paying attention to him.

_How could he love you? Look at you._

"Shut up!" I screamed out into the direction of Jacob's voice, but no one was there. I looked around; I was sure he was there. But all I saw was Edward looking at me with complete worry.

"Bella?" Edward asked. I hadn't realized he was right in front of me, until I felt his cool hands on my elbows.

I immediately jumped back. "Don't touch me!" I yelled. "Don't pretend you want to touch me!"

"Bella, I'm trying to help you, you have to believe me!" Edward cried out.

I shook my head. "No, you're not! You never wanted to have sex! You've regretted it since it happened!"

I didn't want to believe the words that were coming out of my mouth, but how could I not? Edward was standing here telling me he didn't want to make love to me anymore. My whole body was shaking as gut wrenching sobs flowed through my whole body.

"That's not true! I love you! But what you're doing is not healthy, and I can't let it happen anymore."

I continued to shake my head as I looked to the ground. He couldn't take this from me, it was the only thing I had. It was the only thing that made the pain go away.

"But the only time I feel anything like I used to feel... the only time I forget is when we…" I whispered as I hugged my body. My sobs were loud and uncontrollable as I fell to my knees on the floor.

I felt Edward wrap his arms around me, and I didn't have the strength to push him away. I cried as he rocked me back and forth.

"I love you," he whispered in my ear. "I'm so sorry. I just want you to get better. I love you so much so much."

I listened as he told me he loved me over and over, but the words had no effect, because in the back of my mind, Jacob's voice rang out.

_He doesn't love you, Bella. He never did._

I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to block out Jacob's voice. I couldn't do this. I needed Edward. I needed to make love to Edward to make his voice go away. I quickly turned so that I was now facing Edward and grabbed his face in my hands.

"Don't do this," I begged as I pressed my lips to his. "Please, I can be better. If you're not enjoying it, I'll learn, I promise."

Edward's head snapped back and a look of shock took over his face. "Enjoying it? Bella, you're amazing! This has nothing to do with me not enjoying it." I watched as he took a deep breath before cupping my face in his hands. "Making love to you is the most pleasurable thing I have ever done. You have no idea how hard this is for me."

I quickly slammed my lips against his. If I had any shot of changing his mind, it would be right now. Edward kissed me back as his hands squeezed my face. I knew that kiss. That was the kiss of urgency. I brought my shaky hands up to the buttons of his shirt and attempted to unbutton them. Before I could even get the first one, Edward grabbed my hands. I let out a sob as he pulled away from our kiss.

"Please," I begged. "I need this. Just one more time, please."

I couldn't believe I was begging him. I was begging Edward to have sex with me. I hit an all new low. I was disgusted myself. Edward let go of my hands and I let out a breath of surprise. He was going to give me what I wanted. He brought his hands back up to my face, but instead of kissing me on the lips, he gave me a kiss on the forehead before pressing his forehead against my own.

"No, love. I'm sorry," he whispered.

I stared off as I heard his answer. He wasn't going to give me what I needed. He was going to take away the one thing that helped me through everything. I immediately became angry and started to push him away. He let go instantly and stood up.

"Get away from me!" I yelled as I scrambled to my feet. "Don't come near me!"

The hurt look on Edward's face would stay in my mind forever. But I was so angry with him, I couldn't do anything about it. I wanted to yell and scream. I wanted him to feel the way I felt right then. He was taking away something that meant everything to me.

"This is your fault!" I screamed before I even realized what I was saying. "If you would have just changed me in the first place, none of this would have happened!"

I regretted the words the instant they were out of my mouth. I knew this wasn't his fault, it was mine. But whatever control I had in me was gone. The look on Edward's face was heartbreaking, and I was sure that if he could cry, he would be doing so right then.

"I know it's my fault," he whispered. "It's my job to protect you, and I didn't. You'll never know how sorry I am for that."

It was then I realized that Edward truly blamed everything that happened on himself, and probably thought I thought the same thing. And because I was so upset, I just confirmed his thoughts. I nodded my head and looked to the ground.

This whole time I thought I was the one with the problems. That I was the only one effected by what happened with Jacob. I couldn't believe how stupid and naive I was.

I don't know how long we stood there, both of us breathing heavily, not saying a word. The anger that I felt slowly disappeared and was now replaced with exhaustion. This fight had opened up so many doors that I didn't want to deal with.

"Love, please…"

"Just stop," I whispered before I looked up at him. I knew in that moment that if we continued with this fight, that I would say something else I would regret.

"I need to get out of here," I said as I made my way towards the bedroom door. "I can't be around you right now."

It was partly true. I knew that if I stayed there we would just continue to fight and I would say more hurtful things. I didn't want to do that. This wasn't his fault. It was mine. I opened his bedroom door to reveal Alice and Rosalie standing there.

"Can you guys take me home?" I asked as tears continued to flow.

"Of course," Alice said as Rosalie nodded.

I looked back at Edward one final time and almost told them never mind. The look on his face was completely heartbreaking, and I couldn't stand that I was the reason that it was there.

"I love you, Bella," he said one final time.

And deep down, I believed him.

Alice, Rosalie, and I pulled up to my house a little while later. None of us had said anything the entire ride, and I was grateful. I knew they all heard what happened and I was completely embarrassed. They all knew how pathetic I was and I hated it. I stepped out of Rosalie's car before I turned around to say goodnight. I was confused to see both Rosalie and Alice getting out of the car with bags in their hands. I hadn't seen them bring bags into the car.

Before I could open my mouth, Alice spoke, "We're having a girl's night. No arguments. It'll help."

I looked at Alice, then over at Rosalie. She gave me a small smile. I let out a sigh. To be honest, I didn't want to be alone and having Alice and Rosalie around seemed extremely appealing. I nodded my head and we made our way into my house. The door opened to reveal Charlie on the other side.

"Hey, kiddo," Charlie greeted as I walked through the door.

"Hi, Charlie!" Alice said with a smile. Rosalie greeted him with a smile and a nod.

"Hello, ladies. Where's my future son-in-law?" Charlie asked as he looked out the door.

It wasn't normal for me to come home without Edward. I should have known Charlie would have picked up on it right away.

"Actually, Charlie, tonight we decided we were going to have a little girl's night. I hope you don't mind!" Alice asked with the sweetest smile.

If I wasn't so upset, I would have laughed. Charlie loved Alice and would give let her get away with murder. Of course he wouldn't mind.

"No, you girls have fun. I'll be in the living room watching the game if you need me," Charlie said before walking into the living room.

I let out a sigh of relief that he didn't question the fact that I had never had a girl's night in my life and usually did anything and everything to get out of them. Charlie was great for letting things go.

"Come on! Let's go up to your room, I want to paint your toe nails!" Alice squealed as she grabbed my wrist and dragged up the stairs.

I let out a groan. "I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"

"Definitely," I heard Rosalie say with a slight laugh from behind me.

Hours later, the girls were still there, keeping me company. Alice had tried to paint my toe nails hot pink, which I immediately disagreed with. With a huff, she agreed and painted them a dark blue. We didn't talk about what happened with Edward, which I was immensely grateful for. Alice talked about clothes and the upcoming holidays, while Rosalie made fun of her for talking about clothes and the upcoming holidays. I even let out a small laugh once or twice. It wasn't something I normally did, but it felt nice for a little while. But now, as I lay on my bed with Rosalie sitting next to me against the headboard and Alice by my feet, I couldn't contain the tears as I remembered the fight I had with Edward.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Alice asked softly as she rubbed my calf.

I shook my head as I sniffled. There wasn't anything to talk about. Edward didn't want to have sex with me anymore. Somewhere along the line, he realized that he didn't want to do it anymore, and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Bella, I know what you're thinking," Rosalie started. "And you're wrong. My brother is trying to help you."

I let out a chuckle and rolled my eyes. "You don't have to lie for him, Rose. I know why he did what he did."

"If you think I would lie for my stupid brother, you really don't know me at all," Rosalie said with a hint of an attitude.

I watched as Alice rolled her eyes and shook her head. "What Rosalie is trying to say is that Edward was telling the truth. I know it's hard to hear, but you have been using sex with Edward as a means to forget. And that's not healthy. You need to talk about it, not shut it away."

I sat up in my bed, suddenly irritated, and shoved my hair behind my ears. Who were they to tell me how I felt? "I don't need to talk about anything, Alice. I'm fine. And I wasn't using sex to forget. Excuse me if I enjoy making love to Edward." I let out a huff as I brought my knees up to my chest.

"We're not going to push you, Bella. But you'll see, eventually," Alice whispered.

I clenched my jaw to keep myself from saying something smart, and looked forward. This would be the first time Alice would be wrong. No, I wouldn't see. They would. I didn't need to have sex to forget about what happened to me. It was already forgotten.

I looked over at Rosalie when she let out a huff and leaned up. "Do you want to talk to him?"

I looked over at her confused. She motioned to the window with her hand as she said, "He's out in the woods."

"He just wanted to make sure you were ok," Alice stated.

I looked out the window and it was like my whole heart went out there. All the anger I felt for him was gone, because I knew it really wasn't his fault. It was something I did to make him feel this way. I don't know how long I stared out the window before Alice broke me out of my thoughts.

"If you want him to go, he'll go." I looked over at her. "Whatever you want."

What did I want? My whole body ached for Edward, but my mind wanted to hide from him. I was completely embarrassed by what happened and I didn't know how to deal with it. But could I deal with a night without him?

I looked up at Alice, who gave me a small smile. She nodded her head, already knowing my answer, before she stood up. Both she and Rosalie said their goodbyes and turned off my bedroom light before jumping out the window. I let out a sigh and put my hair behind my ears again. I did want to see Edward, but I didn't want to talk about anything. I just needed him near me. I lay down in my bed with my back to the window. I didn't have to hear him to know he was there. My body always reacted when he was around. Tears threatened to spill, but I held them at bay. I didn't want to cry anymore. It wasn't long before I heard the sound of Edward's shoes being placed on the floor and felt the shift in the bed. I was glad I didn't have to beg him to lie there with me. It would have just been another humiliation to add to the list. When I felt his arms make their way around my body, I had to bite my lip to keep from sobbing. The tears finally won and they started to stream down my face, silently. Edward held me close to his chest as he kissed the back of my head. He held me the entire night, never saying a word. I welcomed the silence, because then I could dream that he still wanted me.

_He doesn't love you._

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to block Jacob's voice out of my head. I didn't sleep at all that night, or the three nights to follow.


	18. Chapter 17

**In my mind Edward is mine and I have him locked in my closet for my own personal fun. But this is reality, and everything belongs to Stephanie :(**

* * *

**EPOV**

**November**

Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into a month. Bella was getting thinner by the day and the dark circles under her eyes were proof of the little sleep she was getting. October was, by far, one of the worst months of my existence. The first week after I told her I wouldn't make love to her anymore until she talked about what happened was the worst of them all. Well, for me that is. Bella didn't sleep for three nights after that and didn't speak a word to me for a week. She acknowledged me, of course, when I asked her a question, or when I handed her something, but she didn't say a word to me. She would, however, speak to everyone else, but me. I hated every second of it. I finally begged her to speak to me one night, telling her I missed her beautiful voice. I apologized for an hour straight and told her I loved her over and over, reminding her I only wanted the best for her. She then uttered the words that still haunted me to this day.

With a voice filled with pain and fear, Bella whispered, "I'm afraid to go to sleep."

I had hoped that after that confession, more would come. But they didn't. The weeks that followed were no different. Bella got about two to three hours of sleep, if any, at night, and woke up screaming each time. I wasn't allowed to hold or touch her during the day anymore. Every time I tried to reach for her hand, or wrap my arms around her, she moved out of the way. Bella only permitted me to hold her at night, claiming she couldn't sleep without my cold embrace. But, I wasn't allowed to console her after her nightmares, either. When I tried, she always pushed me away and I had to spend that time on my knees, on the floor next to the bed, while she held herself and cried. I hated every second of it. I craved her touch more than anything and counted down the minutes until she would let me hold her again. We hadn't kissed since that night, too. That was another thing Bella had taken away from me. She said she didn't want me pretending. After the fifth time of her saying that, I grabbed her face in between my hands and forced her to look at me. I explained to her that I loved her with my entire being, and the only thing that I had been pretend was the fact that she when wouldn't let me touch or kiss her, it wasn't killing me. Tears had formed in her eyes as she pulled me close and wrapped her arms around me.

Bella barely ate during the day and when she did, if and when she had a panic attack, she would get herself so worked up to the point where she threw up whatever she did eat. Carlisle tried to give her medicine but she out right refused, always claiming she was _fine_. Charlie noticed the difference in his daughter, of course. He had asked me about it just last week. I explained to him that we were trying to get her to talk and she was refusing. I didn't tell him Bella had been using sex to forget about what happened, I just explained that Bella tried to forget and realized recently she couldn't, and that this would all be good in the long run. He trusted our judgment, but was worried about her health. I flinched when he remembered in his mind the last time he saw her like this.

It was when I had left.

As October turned into November, my family and I tried different approaches to get Bella to talk about what happened, but nothing worked. Whenever it was brought up, Bella would clam up and get lost in herself. The littlest things were also still setting her off. We were walking around Port Angeles when a dog barked. As a result, she went into a complete state of panic. There was another time when the phone rang at her house and it was Billy. She cried her eyes out the rest of the night. Just recently, Bella was on the phone with Renee, and Renee had asked how Bella was dealing with Jacob's death, because she knew they were such good friends and asked why she didn't tell her. Bella was shaking so badly I had to grab the phone and explain to Renee that she was so upset that she couldn't talk about it.

Though I put on a brave front for Bella, inside I was dying. I was running out of ideas on how to get her to talk and I felt like a complete failure. We fought constantly now, and I felt like I was losing her. Though most of our fights consisted of her yelling at me, and me just sitting there, I still considered them fights. But, I would do it every day, if it meant it would help her. Carlisle explained to me that though it may not have seemed like it, the yelling was helping. She wasn't bottling everything in anymore. It was a step forward.

But, at the time it was happening, it never felt like it. Just like the night before. Bella and I were sitting at her kitchen table while Charlie was in the living room watching TV. She was attempting to eat dinner, but of course, it wasn't working out too well. After a half an hour of trying to force food down her throat, Bella let out a huff and threw her fork on the plate.

"Love," I started softly, "you have to eat."

"I don't want to eat"

I let out a sigh. "You have to eat."

"I'm not hungry, Edward. Just leave it alone," she begged.

I really wanted to, but I couldn't. She was already losing too much weight and she needed to eat to be healthy.

"I'm sorry but you have to eat."

"What are you going to do? Force it down my throat?" Bella snapped. "I know when I have to eat and when I don't, and right now, I don't. I'm a big girl, Edward. You know, I'm nineteen, getting older each day, because you won't change me!" Bella cried out, her voice starting to rise.

I looked up towards the ceiling as I clenched my jaw. Another fight was coming, and I wanted to stop it.

"Bella, love, please, I don't want to fight with you. I just want you to be happy and healthy," I said softly.

Bella let out a dry laugh and shook her head. "You want me to be happy? How can I be happy knowing that my fiancé doesn't want me anymore?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. She still didn't understand, and I didn't know how to make her understand.

"That's not…"

"Save it, Edward. I'm done hearing your excuses." Bella said, cutting me off as she stood up and threw her plate into the kitchen sink.

I wanted to answer, but I heard Charlie make his way into the kitchen. He heard Bella when she started to raise her voice.

"Everything ok in here?" he asked as he looked between Bella and me.

I gave him a small smile as Bella leaned against the kitchen sink and crossed her arms.

"Everything is fine, Dad," Bella answered him.

Charlie looked at me questionably. He knew better than to continue to ask questions, but just wanted to make sure. I gave him a small nod.

"I'm going to bed," Bella stated as she made her way out of the kitchen.

I stood up to follow her but stopped when she turned back to me.

"I want you to stay down here tonight, Edward. I'll talk to you in the morning" she said before turning and going upstairs.

I sat back down at the kitchen table and put my head in my hands. I was losing her. I could feel it. I looked up when I felt Charlie's hand on my shoulder.

"It'll be ok, son. It's just going to take a little longer than we all hoped."

I gave him a grateful smile and a nod. I made my way into the living room to watch TV with Charlie. I tried to ignore the sound of Bella's soft cries and sniffles, but my whole heart ached and I wanted nothing more than to be up there with her. Charlie headed up to bed around one in the morning, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the soft sounds of Bella's tears. I didn't want to do this anymore. I was hurting her with what I was doing, and I hated it. But, I knew she needed to talk about what happened and what we were doing before was not helping.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Bella's soft whisper, "Please come up here."

I was up in the room before she could even finish her sentence. She was sitting up in bed with her knees to her chest and her eyes red from tears. She almost looked surprised to see me.

"You're still here," she whispered, relief evident in her voice.

"Of course," I said as I sat down on the edge of the bed. "I'm never going to leave you, Bella, unless you order me away."

Bella took a deep breath before she started to sob. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it!"

"Oh, Bella," I breathed out as I pulled her into my arms. Bella held onto me tightly as she cried.

"I don't know why I keep doing this," she cried. "I'm sorry, please forgive me."

I kissed her forehead as I rocked her back and forth. "There's nothing to forgive, love. It's fine."

Bella cried herself to sleep in my arms, and the next morning, after she calmed down from her nightmare, she apologized again. I told her I loved her, and she never had to apologize for anything she did.

We spent the rest of the morning together like we normally did; it wasn't any different then any other morning. The rest of the day didn't feel any different, either. But somehow, it was. We were sitting on the couch watching TV with Alice and Jasper; it wasn't anything special, just some random comedy. Everyone else in my family was hunting, so it was just the four of us. Jasper was watching Bella warily out of the corner of his eye.

"What's the matter?" I asked him low enough so that Bella couldn't hear.

_She's confused. It's almost like she's debating something in her mind,_ he answered with his thoughts.

I looked over at Bella and saw that Jasper was right. She was looking past the TV, her brows were scrunched together, and she was biting her lip. Before I could ask her what was wrong, Alice cut me off.

"Edward!" she cried out, causing all of us to look at her like she was crazy. "Can I talk to you upstairs for a minute?"

I searched her mind, but she was, effectively, blocking me. I let out a huff and told her yes.

"I'll be right back," I told Bella, who nodded before I followed Alice upstairs.

"What?" I asked, rather annoyed. Something was on Bella's mind and I wanted to see if she would talk.

"Shhh! Listen!" she whispered with the biggest smile on her face as she motioned towards the stairs.

"Jasper?" I heard Bella ask softly.

"Yeah?"

Through Jasper's mind I saw Bella continue to bite her lip as she squeezed her eyes shut. She took one final deep breath before turning towards him on the couch.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?"

My eyes went wide and I whipped my head towards Alice. She started to nod her head vigorously.

"She's going to talk to him! Edward, she's opening up!" Alice squealed as she jumped up and down while grabbing my arm.

"Of course, darlin. What's on your mind?" Jasper asked as he turned towards her, as well.

Even though I could hear them perfectly, I leaned my head toward the steps more and gave Alice a dirty look when she grabbed onto my arm.

"Come on," she started. "Let's give them some privacy."

I clenched my jaw. I wanted to hear what Bella had to say, but Alice was right. Bella deserved her privacy. I reluctantly followed my sister out of the house and into the woods. She assured me everything would be fine, and things were going to start to look up. A smile came to my face when she showed me a vision of Bella and myself smiling and laughing together. Though a small part of me was a little upset that it wasn't me who Bella opened up to, that was out weighed by the great happiness I felt that she actually _was_ opening up. The smile stayed on my face as my sister and I ran deeper into the woods.

* * *

**BPOV**

I took a deep breath. I could do this. I knew I could. I had to. If last night wasn't proof enough that things needed to change, then I didn't know what else was. Yeah, I was confused. But, if anyone would understand me, it would be Jasper.

"I don't know where to start really," I mumbled. "I feel like a complete idiot, to be honest with you."

"Why do you feel like an idiot?" Jasper asked.

I let out a huff and bit my lip. I felt like crying, this was such an embarrassing topic. I looked up when I felt Jasper's cold touch on my shoulder. He moved from the couch he was on to my own.

"You don't have to be embarrassed, hun. You're my sister. You can talk to me about anything," he said softly.

I gave him a thankful smile and sniffled. "Edward was right. Everyone was right. I'm not fine. I haven't been for a long time." I mumbled the last part. Jasper didn't say anything; he just sat there and listened.

"I was using sex with Edward to forget about everything. It helped, made things better for a little while. I see that now. But I can't keep going on like this. It's killing me, and I'm scared it's going to tear Edward and I apart"

Jasper started to immediately shake his head. "Bella, Edward loves you. Nothing would tear you guys apart."

"I want to believe that," I whispered with tears in my eyes. "I really do. I just feel… to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel, or how I _should_ feel."

"Who says you _should_ feel someway?"

"Shouldn't I?" I asked with a shrug. "Jasper, he was my _best friend. _My best friend who I thought I was in love with. I lead him on then dumped him. This was my fault."

"Ok, Bella, just stop right there," Jasper said with a firm tone. "Yes, Jacob was your best friend, there is no doubt in that, and ok, you thought you were in love with him, there's nothing wrong with that. It was a very confusing time then, Bella. Edward left, and Jacob was there. You can't help your feelings. But, you didn't _dump_ him. You made your choice very clear from the beginning; Jacob was the one who couldn't handle it."

I shook my head. "How is telling him I loved him ok, when I didn't?"

"You didn't love him?"

I hesitated for a second. I let out a groan as I put my head in my hands. "I loved Jake. My Jake. I loved the boy, not the wolf. And the person who took me was the wolf."

I let out another sigh and looked back up. "Jasper, I'm so confused. I want to hate him. I _should_ hate him! And in a way, I do! I hate the wolf, but not Jake. And that's what's so messed up because it's the same person!" I cried out.

Jasper still remained silent and I was sort of grateful. I was in the mood to just talk.

"Part of me feels that the last time I saw my actual best friend was that night at the movies. Then, when he left, a new person came back."

"Bella?"

I looked over at him.

"Now, don't get mad at me for asking this. I really want you to think about this answer, and I will help you if you're confused," he explained.

I waited a second before I nodded.

"How _do_ you feel about what happened? Don't think about how you _should _feel, or how you think people think you should feel. Think about how _you_ feel."

I leaned back against the arm of the couch and thought about my answer. I erased all thoughts of what others would think and thought about just myself. It seemed like I sat there forever, trying to think of how I felt, when it suddenly popped in my head.

"I'm fucking pissed off!" I yelled, not even realizing I had cursed. "How could he do that to me? How could he take me like that? Who does that to someone? Who takes them against their will and tries to force them to love them? I'm so angry I just want to flip out! Jasper, seriously, who does that?" In the middle of my rant I stood up and started to pace. "I'm glad he's dead!"

My hand shot to my mouth and covered it as my eyes went wide. I couldn't believe I said that.

"It's ok, Bella," Jasper reassured me.

I brought my hand down and took a deep breath before I started again. "I know it's horrible. I shouldn't think that. But, I'm glad that _thing_ is dead! He killed my best friend! He took him away from me and walked around in his body!" I screamed.

My breathing was hard and the tears that were present a little while ago were now dried up. I couldn't explain it, but for some reason, after I got done screaming that, I felt lighter, somehow, like I wasn't carrying around this heavy luggage anymore. A smile made its way to my face as I looked down at Jasper.

There was a similar smile on his face, too, as he asked, "How do you feel now?"

I felt amazing.

Talking felt amazing.

That was why I couldn't stop. I talked every chance I got. I talked to Alice one day when I let her take me out shopping. I don't think I shut up the entire car ride. There was the time with Emmett when he was playing Playstation, he stopped to listen to me, and the time with Rosalie out in the garage. There was the time with Esme out in her garden, and the time I walked into Carlisle's office and talked to him for three hours straight. But for some reason, I couldn't talk to Edward. I tried. Every night, I tried. But, I just couldn't. I could tell he was waiting for it, too. Though he never out right asked me about any of the times I talked to his family, I knew he knew. He had this beautiful smile on his face I couldn't help but return. I wanted to open up to him, I truly did. But, part of me was scared of how he would see me after I did. I explained my feelings about this to Carlisle and he, like everyone, tried to reassure me that those feelings were crazy, but I still felt them.

Though I couldn't talk to Edward, our relationship was a little bit better. I was constantly smiling and we were laughing a lot more than we had been. We were almost like the old us. Almost. There was still this tension between us because of my not opening up to him. We also still weren't making love. Though we held each other all the time now, and kissed, and just enjoyed the feel of each other, we still didn't make love.

And god knows I wanted to.

We would get into pretty heated make out sessions, which always left both Edward and I wanting more. Just as things would start to get interesting, Edward would pull away. I couldn't blame him though; I had been using sex like a drug for two months. His hesitation was expected. But I was doing better, I was talking. Not to him, but I _was_ talking. Couldn't we do something?

Two days before Thanksgiving, Edward and I were playing chess in my living room. It was a beautiful day, even though I had a, now rare, nightmare the night before, and despite the fact Edward was beating me, I couldn't contain the smile on my face. He had me laughing the whole day and we just felt... normal.

Edward moved his Queen to C6 and I let out a huff. I used my pointer finger to knock my King over and I pouted.

"You still had plenty of moves you could have made," Edward said with a chuckle.

I shook my head. "We both know that every move I would have made would have just ended with you winning, anyway. So, that was the most logical choice."

Edward leaned back on the couch and shrugged. "Maybe not."

I gave him my best 'yeah right' look before I moved the chess board onto the table and leaned back to snuggle into his side. I closed my eyes and let out a content sigh. Being in Edward's arms was the best feeling in the world, and I never wanted to leave. I went over our life together and realized that Edward literally was my savior. He started with saving me from Tyler's van and had been doing it every day since. Everything we had gone through, all the trials and tribulations, we made it through it all.

That could really only mean one thing...

Edward really did love me.

I smiled when a full minute went by and I didn't hear Jacob's voice. I was really getting better.

"You have no idea how much I wish I could read your mind right now," Edward mumbled before kissing the top of my head.

I let out a giggle. "Why don't you just ask?"

"There's no fun in that!"

I laughed again and looked up at Edward. "I was just thinking about how happy I feel. How just sitting here with you, being in your arms is the most amazing feeling ever, and you'll never know it."

Edward rewarded me with a dazzling smile. "Oh, I think I know, because I feel the same way."

"You compare one small tree to the entire forest." I threw his words back at me that he said so long ago.

Edward's smile went wider as he leaned down and whispered, "Impossible," before he kissed me softly on the lips.

I closed my eyes and let the wonderful feeling of Edward's lips on my own take me over. Words couldn't describe how amazing it felt.

I didn't know which one of us moved first, but the next thing I knew, I was straddling Edward's lap while we continued our heavy make out session. His hands seemed to be everywhere while I pulled at his hair. I could feel the familiar tingles that were in my stomach work their way down further. I moaned when I felt his cold tongue massage my own and couldn't help but grind myself onto his hard erection. Edward's body immediately turned stiff and his mouth ceased all movement. I had to fight the urge to groan in frustration as I pulled away from his mouth and leaned my forehead on his shoulder. My breathing was heavy and my skin was hot. Edward placed his hands on my hips before letting out a deep, long sigh.

"I'm sorry, we can't," he whispered.

I let out a huff and moved to sit next to him, but left my left leg across his lap. I lay down on the couch and brought my hand to my forehead. I had no one to blame but myself for this. He was only trying to help. I went over in my head trying to argue about how I was talking and I was better, but I knew he wouldn't listen, which in a way, I was glad. I didn't want to fall into my old routine.

There was a way we could make love again, and he would let it, and I would be ok with it. All I would have to do is talk to Edward, open up to him. I quickly sat up and moved closer to him. I could do this.

I knew I could.

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. Edward watched me very closely as my mouth opened and closed. I took a deep breath and tried again, but still, nothing came out. The hurt look that came to Edward's face was horrible. I wanted so bad to be able to talk to him, tell him. But the voice in the back of my head told me he would look at me different if he knew the truth.

Tears flooded eyes as I looked up at him and whispered, "I'm sorry."

Edward gave me a sad smile and kissed my hand. "It's ok."

But, I knew it wasn't. Though we both tried to put that little moment behind us, it stayed with us for the rest of the day, and the days that followed.

Thanksgiving came and I still couldn't talk to Edward. Charlie and I ate at the Cullens, I cooked us a huge turkey, more so that my dad would have lunch for the rest of the week than anything else. The Cullens sat with us, not eating of course, as Charlie told them all embarrassing stories of my younger, even clumsier years. It would have been a perfect holiday if the tension between Edward and I hadn't been so thick. That night, we were sitting in my room together as I tried to convince him to go hunting with his family.

"Edward, you haven't been hunting with your family in months. It's Thanksgiving, you should go with them," I explained.

Edward shook his head. "I'm not leaving you."

"Edward, I'm fine," I backpedaled when I saw the annoyed look on his face. "I mean, I'm better. You know that, I want you to go be with your family. Alice will be with you; she can watch to see if anything happens. And you'll be back by tomorrow night. I think you should go."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. "You're still having the nightmares every once and a while."

I bit my lip and looked down at my lap. I knew why they were still there. It was because I hadn't said everything that had happened, and until I let it go, they would still be there.

"Please, just go spend time with your family," I whispered as I raised my hand up to his face to lightly touch under his eyes that were almost black. "When was the last time you hunted? Last week?"

Edward looked down and shrugged his shoulders. I leaned over my bed and grabbed my iPhone off the coffee table. "I'll even turn my phone on and you'll have yours on. You can call me anytime you want, and I'll call you if I need you. I promise."

He looked up at me and stared. I knew what he was waiting for and I couldn't do it. I shook my head and looked down. Tears came to my eyes when I heard him sigh. I looked up just in time to see him stand.

"I'll go, but I'll be back tomorrow afternoon," he said as he leaned down and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

I watched as he slowly walked towards the window and my heart broke. I needed to get over my fear of telling him what happened and just do it.

I squeezed my eyes shut and called out quickly, "He told me you didn't love me!"

When I opened my eyes I saw Edward standing there, looking at me from over his shoulder. I took a deep breath and started again.

"He told me that every day. I didn't want to believe it, but after listening to it everyday for two months, I couldn't help it."

Edward turned towards me fully. "What else did he tell you?"

I moved so that I was sitting Indian style on my bed and brushed the hair out of my face and behind my ears.

"He told me you weren't looking for me, that you never left Forks."

"You know that's not true," Edward whispered as he made his way back to my bed.

I nodded. "Now I do, but then… I had no idea. I wanted to believe it, but it was hard."

I didn't stop the tears as they ran down my face and I looked at my hands. "If I tell you this, if I tell you what happened, if I tell you everything, can you just promise me something?"

I refused to look up at him as he sat down on the bed and said, "Of course."

I bit my lip and chocked back a sob. "That you'll tell me the second you feel differently towards me, no matter what."

If I would have looked up, I would have seen the enraged look on Edward's face.

"Bella, look at me," he said firmly.

I looked up at him and there was a look in his eyes I couldn't quite explain. It was anger mixed with sadness.

"Do you not understand my feelings for you at all?"

I looked down again and shook my head. "This is different, whether you want to believe it or not. So please, just promise me."

I looked up just in time to see Edward nod once and promise. I took a deep breath and started talking. I knew that if I waited any longer I would chicken out and not talk. I started from the beginning. I told him how scared I was when I realized that Jacob wasn't turning back and how waking up in that hotel room was horrible. I explained how Jacob threatened to have the pack attack his family if I didn't stay with him, and that was the only reason I agreed. I told him that phone call I made was a lie and Jacob was standing right there, it was the only reason I had to say those things, and how I still felt extremely guilty for saying them.

"We saw the vision of you writing the note," he told me softly as he reached into his back pocket. "I knew the phone call was coming. You have nothing to feel guilty over."

Edward handed me what was in his pocket and I let out a sob. In my hand was the note I had written all those months ago, though the paper was so thin it could've crumbled from just touching, and the words were almost faded, you could still make out what it said.

_**I don't know if you can see this, but I have to try. Please tell Edward that I love him. Jacob is going to make me call him and tell him lies. Please tell him he is my life. I will try to leave some clues when I can to let you know where I am. Please find me, Edward. Please bring me back to you.**_

"You kept this?" I asked Edward with a voice filled with disbelief.

"I looked at it everyday," Edward admitted. "It was my life line. To be honest, I don't know why I keep it with me still; I just couldn't bring myself to throw it away. It seems stupid now."

I sniffled and shook my head. "It's not stupid."

He gave me a small smile as I put the note down on the bed. I started to talk again. I explained everything to him. I told him how frightened I was and how my first attempt at escaping was something that still haunted me.

"The look on that waiters face," I started as a flash of what Jacob did to the waiter came in my mind. "Edward, he was just trying to help me, and Jacob nearly ripped his arm off. I was upset for weeks about that. If I had just tried something myself… I was stupid to think that Jacob wouldn't hurt anyone else."

Edward explained to me how they went to visit the waiter, and that he was doing fine. A broken arm was all he had, and the biggest regret he had was that he couldn't help me. I made a promise right then to find that waiter and thank him for what he did for me.

I continued to tell Edward everything, all the horrible things that Jacob said, all the times he screamed at me when I awoke from sleeping, and how he made me kiss him. Edward listened to every word without interrupting once, and didn't even flinch when I told him the hours of groping and kissing I was forced to endure. I told him how I was scared he was going to rape me, and was shocked he never tried to take it further than that.

"He would push himself against me, and I would be able to feel… him… and I would be sick to my stomach. He wasn't subtle with what he wanted, but never tried to _take_ it."

I also explained to Edward the countless times I had to tell Jacob I loved him.

"Every time I had to tell him I loved him, I apologized to you in my mind. I didn't want to, I really didn't, but he would get so angry," I started to cry again and Edward immediately took me into his arms.

He rocked me back and forth, whispering to me that it was ok, that I didn't have to feel sorry, he understood. After a couple of seconds, we lay down on the bed together, and I rested my head on his chest. I told him how every night I would always have these dreams of him being there, and when I would get close enough, Jacob would kill him. And then I finally explained to him the nightmare I had been having every night since then.

"I'm walking through the hotel and there is this hole in the back wall. When I get outside there is this huge fire and Jacob is standing beside it. He's... he's throwing pieces of your body into the blaze" I cried.

Edward held me close and kissed my head. Once I calmed down I continued on. I told him how I missed him so much, and everyday felt like an eternity. That there were times that all I wanted to do was give up, but his voice was the only thing that kept me going. I explained how I started to feel disgusted with myself for everything that was happening and blamed it all on me, but quickly told him how now I knew it wasn't true, that it was all Jacob's fault. Jacob was the one with the problem.

"There would be times, when I could swear I saw my Jacob in his eyes. He would get this sad look on his face and just say sorry. I tried to reach him, but those times were only seconds long, before the hard look returned," I whispered.

Edward continued to listen. I didn't know how long I talked for, but once I started, I couldn't stop. I told him that after I had escaped and managed to call him that night that I never told Jacob I loved him again, and that was when the abuse started. I felt Edward tense underneath me as I explained how he would slap me, push me, and grab me constantly, all the while saying harsh things to me.

"One time, I guess I was calling your name in my sleep, I woke up to being shoved off the bed. I landed on the ground so hard, I thought my arm was broken. He grabbed me, forcing me to stand, while slamming my back into the wall while he screamed. I would just listen until he was done and then cry in the shower. I was so scared."

Edward's hold on me went tighter as he kissed the top of my head. I continued to tell him how Jacob would tie me to things when he went out and how he called me all those stupid pet names like baby, sweetie, hunny, and how I hated every single one of them.

"It was like my friend was completely gone," I said. "My Jake was no where to be found, and the person in front of me was a complete stranger."

I shivered as I remembered the time he started to cry after he was done yelling at me.

_You told me you loved me._

I was at my lowest point then. That was the day before Edward and his family had come to rescue me. Edward told me that they had found Jacob's car right before Alice got my vision from the shower. He also told me how it took all his restraint not to run into the hotel as soon as they got there. I explained how when I saw him in that door way, that nothing else mattered, that I was ready for death, because I got to see him one last time. Edward tried to protest, but I cut him off by asking him to tell me what happened after I was knocked out. I wasn't surprised to hear that Jacob's mind was all over the place; he definitely wasn't in the right state of mind that entire time. I was surprised to hear that Jacob went after Seth when he intervened. He really didn't care about anyone anymore. I couldn't help the sadness I felt when Edward told me how utterly guilty and confused Leah felt after she killed Jacob. Leah was only trying to protect her brother, I understood that, but Jacob was her friend. I had the sudden urge to talk to Leah and thank her for all her help, though I was sure she wouldn't want to hear it.

"I don't hate Jacob," I explained. "I hate the wolf. I'm not sure if that makes sense. But, it's how I feel. Jacob was my best friend, and I was… in love with him. I'm sorry if that hurts you, but my Jake, my best friend, was the one I was in love with. But, he died a long time ago; it just took me a while to see it."

Edward just held me tighter, kissed the top of my head again and whispered, "I understand."

After a couple minutes of silence, Edward began to speak again. "You know what, I do feel different."

My entire body went stiff and my mind went blank. Edward chuckled and moved his finger to under my chin and made me look up at him.

"I think I love you even more. You're the strongest person I have ever met, Bella. And my only regret is that I couldn't protect you from all of that."

I shot up quickly and straddled Edward's waist. He looked at me confused as I grabbed his face in my hands so that he couldn't look away.

"You're going to shut up and you're going to listen to me. What happened was Not. Your. Fault. It was Jacob's and Jacob's alone." Edward opened his mouth to protest, but I cut him off. "Shut up. I know what I said to you that night last month, and I'm so sorry. I was angry, I was confused. Nothing was your fault. If anything, you saved me, and I'm sorry I couldn't see that before."

Tears came down my face as Edward pulled me down towards him and our lips connected. It wasn't a sexual kiss or simple kiss. It was a kiss filled with the feelings we had for each other for the past couple of months that we couldn't express. We finally pulled away when I needed to breathe. Edward's hands cupped my face just like mine did to his. We just stared at each other with a small smile on each of our faces.

"Welcome back, love," he whispered as he rubbed my cheek with his thumb.

I smiled down at him, gave him another quick kiss, then lay back down. I closed my eyes as I snuggled closer into his chest and let out a content sigh.

"How are you feeling?" Edward asked.

"Honestly?"

"Always," he said.

"I feel tired," I said with a laugh.

It was true. I felt completely exhausted. All the crying and remembering everything that happened took a lot out of me. But, I also felt lighter. Like everything was gone, nothing was holding me back. I really started to feel like my old self again.

Edward chuckled. "Why don't you get some sleep, love? I'll be here when you wake up."

My eyes shot open and I looked up at Edward. "No way, mister! You have to go hunting with your family!"

"Bella, calm down. They are going to wait until tomorrow to go and we'll all go together"

I looked at Edward confused and he explained. "Alice saw us talking and explained it to everyone, so they all decided to give us tonight and I'll go with them tomorrow."

I looked over at the clock and my eyes went wide. It was now three in the morning. We had been talking for five hours.

"Wow, I didn't know we were talking for that long," I looked back over at Edward and started to feel guilty again. I brought my hand up to his face and touched under his eyes. "You're really thirsty, Edward. You should hunt."

Edward brought my hand to his lips and kissed my fingers. "I'll be ok. I'll go tomorrow, I promise."

"I want you to know that when we made love in the shower, it wasn't about forgetting or anything else. That was us, together, and it was perfect," I whispered.

"I know, and I'm sorry I had to do that," he said, and I shook my head.

"Don't apologize. You were right, I just couldn't see it."

Edward gave me another kiss before pulling the covers up and over us. "Sleep, love."

I closed my eyes with a smile on my face. I was asleep within minutes.

That was the first night I slept the entire night and without a single nightmare.


	19. Chapter 18

**I sadly do not own any of the characters of this story, even though I desperately want to! :(**

* * *

BPOV

I looked out the window as the trees passed by. Edward and I were on our way to Port Angeles to do some Christmas shopping. It was now December and I was starting to feel like my old self again. I hadn't had a nightmare or heard Jacob's voice since I opened up to Edward.

Edward.

His name made my smile grow wider. Things between us couldn't have been greater. We were stronger and better than ever, and for some unknown reason to me, I couldn't wait to marry him. I hadn't brought it up to him at all, but I had been thinking about it for a while now. I wanted to start our life together, but there were other factors in the equation now. Charlie knew everything and would have to know what was going on. I didn't know how he would react to the news of me wanting to become a vampire, but I would have to explain to him that this was my life, and I loved Edward more than anything and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I had to, somehow, ease Charlie into the change. I didn't know how I was going to do that yet, so I would have to think. I would have to talk to Alice.

Two seconds later, my iPhone chimed with a new text message.

_**We'll talk later.**_

_**P.S. I know you're shopping! Meet you at the mall!**_

I let out a giggle and shook my head. "Looks like we're not getting out of shopping alone."

Edward chuckled and nodded his head. "Should have known we wouldn't have gotten out of this one."

Edward and I continued to talk on the drive towards the mall. I silently prayed that Alice wouldn't be thinking about the conversation we would be having later, but deep down, I knew if anyone could hide anything from Edward, she could.

"How mad do you think she'll be?" I asked as we pulled up to the mall parking lot.

As Edward parked the car, we saw them. There, standing outside of the mall, was Alice and Emmett. Emmett was waving to us with a smile on his face that showed off his adorable dimples, while Alice stood there with her hands on her hips and her foot tapping on the ground.

"Aren't they supposed to be hunting, anyway?" I asked as Edward parked the car.

We got out and made our way towards them. "Apparently, Carlisle got called into the hospital, so they all decided to come back."

I nodded my head in response. I was about to greet Alice and Emmett, but was stopped when Alice opened her mouth to speak.

"How _dare_ you even ATTEMPT to shop without me!"

I rolled my eyes. "Alice, you guys were hunting. Besides, it's just Christmas presents"

Alice crossed her arms over her chest. "Shopping is shopping!"

I let out a chuckle and turned to Emmett. "And how did you get roped into this?"

Emmett shrugged his shoulders. "Pixie here said you were Christmas shopping, and the only time I shop is with Rose. So..."

"So, you figured you'd sneak out with us and get Rosalie's Christmas present?" I finished for him.

Emmett smiled at me then wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Exactly, Bella-Bear."

We looked over and saw Edward and Alice having one of their internal conversations. To anyone else, it would simply look like they were staring at each other, but I knew better.

"Now, now, children," Emmett started. "Is that something you want to share with the rest of the class?"

I laughed at Emmett while Edward rolled his eyes.

"We can shop for everyone who isn't here, and then tomorrow, we'll all go out separately and get for each other." Edward started to protest, but Alice cut him off. "And by separately I mean me and Bella."

I just shook my head. Of course Alice would have everything already planned out. Emmett removed his arm from around my shoulders and the four of us walked into the store.

"Hey, I have to stop at the ATM real quick to get some money," I explained when the machine caught my eye. Edward and Alice both tensed and started looking at anything but me. I looked over at Emmett, who shrugged his shoulders then back over at the two of them. I shook my head, deciding they were just being themselves, and walked over to the ATM. As I put my card into the machine, I started to count up the little funds that I had left. I needed to buy presents for everyone and that was the only money I had. So, I had to make it stretch as far as possible. I pushed the buttons for the amount I wanted and waited as the machine processed my request. I didn't want to have to borrow money from Edward for Christmas presents; I wanted to do it on my own. I rolled my eyes at the thought. I was surprised he even let me come get money out. I grabbed the money out of the tray before grabbing my receipt and card. I looked down at my receipt as I walked back and almost had a heart attack. I had money. I had about ten thousand dollars more than I should. I flipped the receipt over to look at the back to make sure I hadn't read it wrong, but it was the same.

"Those are called numbers, Bella," Emmett called out with a chuckle.

When I looked up, I saw Emmett chuckling and Edward and Alice still looking at everything besides me. I clenched my jaw. I stormed over to both of them and crossed my arms.

"Want to tell me why my bank account has tripled when I haven't made a deposit in four months?" I asked angrily.

Emmett burst out laughing next to us. He was laughing so hard, people were starting to look, so he had to walk away. Edward let out a sigh.

"I had Alice put the money in there," he admitted softly.

"When?" I asked in disbelief.

"Well, I sort of decided to ask her when you said you wanted to come to Port Angeles," Edward mumbled.

I looked at him, confused. "But that was just…" I stopped. Of course, Alice must have seen his decision to put money into my account and decided to do it for him. I shook my head. "How did you get my account information?" I asked, stunned. Alice and Edward both gave me a look that said 'really' and I let out a huff. "Well, I don't want it. Take it back."

"Bella, please…" Edward pleaded.

I shook my head again. There was no way I was taking their money. That was a lot of money and I didn't want a cent of it.

"Bella, you have to look at it this way," Alice started as she walked up and looped her arm with my own before we started walking. "You're a Cullen now. Money comes with the whole package."

I rolled my eyes. I knew there was no way to argue this. If I decided to take the money out and hide it and never touch it, Alice would know and Edward would just put it back. If I kept it in my back account and never touched it, she would know again, and Edward would be upset again. I didn't know what I was going to do.

"Besides, the Christmas present you want to get Edward will cost double what you had in your bank account," Alice explained.

My eyes went wide. She did not really just say that? Did she forget her brother can read minds?

"Oh please, Bella," Alice huffed as she let go of my arm and walked further ahead. "Have a little faith in me."

She turned back towards me and tapped her head before walking away towards Emmett

"She's going through different present ideas for everyone in her head," Edward whispered into my ear.

I let out a breath of relief and nodded my head. Thank god.

"So, does that mean I get to buy you an expensive gift for Christmas?" Edward asked as we followed Emmett and Alice.

I let out a groan and walked ahead of him.

Three days later, I had all my Christmas presents bought for everyone and they were all wrapped and stacked in Edward's room, except for Edward's, of course. That day we had been helping Esme in her garden all day just to spend time with her. I think she loved every second of it. We were now in the bathroom, cleaning ourselves up, when I had an idea. I was at the tub, getting it ready for a shower, while Edward was at the sink with his back to me. I took the detachable shower head and put it to my side.

"You know, there are advantages to you not being able to read my mind," I said with a smile.

"Oh yeah," Edward answered as he turned off the water. "What's that?"

Edward started to turn around and I squirted him with the water. Edward raced over to me and reached for the shower head. We both laughed as he wrestled for the shower head, both of us getting soaked in the process. Both of us were laughing loudly as we fought for the shower head. I was determined not to let go, but that all changed when I slipped on the wet floor. I fell forward into Edward who fell to the floor with me. I lay on top of Edward, both of us completely wet and laughing hysterically.

"You did that on purpose!" I laughed.

Edward leaned up and put the shower head in the tub before lying back down. "I don't know what you're talking about, love."

I smiled down at him and gave him a kiss. The kiss started to slowly become more passionate. Edward's hands made their way to behind my neck as he pulled me closer. I moaned into his mouth and put more force behind the kiss. My skin was on fire and the familiar tingles started to make their way down my body. I could feel Edward's erection through his pants and couldn't help when I rubbed myself against it. I almost came in my pants when Edward moaned against my mouth. A second later, we were standing, panting, and staring at each other. I expected him to tell me we couldn't do this, that we had to stop, but he never said anything. He just stood there staring; it was as if he was waiting for permission.

A small smile came to my face before I grabbed the hem of my soaked tank top and took it off. I threw the wet garment towards Edward. It hit him in the chest and stayed there for a second before it started to fall. Edward grabbed the shirt but kept his eyes on me. It was the boldest thing I had ever done and my heart was going a mile a minute.

I was standing before Edward in my sweat pants, no shirt, and no bra. I gave him a little smirk before I turned and headed toward his bedroom. I wasn't able to take two steps before I felt Edward lift me and next thing I knew I was being tossed onto the bed. Edward attacked my lips as he moved until he was completely on top of me. I wanted to take it slow, but I couldn't. I needed him; it had been too long to go slow. I yanked his plaid shirt off before he sat up to take his tank top off. Edward's chest was beautiful and I loved every inch of it. When he sat up and brought his tank top up, I followed him and started to kiss and suck on his chest. Edward moaned out in pleasure before he grabbed my face and started kissing me again. I started to unbutton his pants and moved quickly to remove them. The rest of the clothing removal was a blur, because the next thing I knew, we were both naked and Edward was kissing his way down my body. His ice cold lips felt amazing against my hot skin and were sending sensations throughout my body. When Edward's lips encircled my nipple, I grabbed his head and held him in place as I cried out in pleasure. The things that man could do with his mouth were amazing. I hadn't even noticed his hand was making its way up my thigh until I could feel his fingers at my opening.

"Oh god," I moaned out as his finger entered me.

Edward came back up to suck on my neck as his finger worked in and out of me. I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt the sensations already. It had been too long. I yanked Edward's face to my own and kissed him hard. He added a second finger as his thumb started to rub my clit. Seconds later, I was writhing beneath him as I exploded all over his hand. I was panting as Edward removed his hand and kissed me softly. He brought his hand up to his mouth and my eyes went wide as he sucked on his finger. His eyes rolled back into his head as he let out a groan. It was positively the hottest thing I had ever seen. When Edward removed his fingers, he opened his eyes and gave me a lazy smile.

"You taste so sweet," Edward whispered, causing my heart to skip a beat.

I grabbed the back of his neck and slammed his lips to mine. I could taste myself on his tongue and I moaned in pleasure. I pushed against his chest, causing him to sit up. He looked at me, confused, before he realized what I was doing. Edward lay down on his back as I straddled his waist. I positioned him at my opening before I sank down, taking him completely inside of me. We both moaned out in pleasure. I hadn't felt Edward inside of me in a long time, and now that I had, I felt whole again. After a couple of seconds, I began to move. Edward held on to my hips as I moved on top of him. I was moaning loudly and I was sure that if anyone was around, they could hear me, but I didn't care. I was in pure ecstasy. Edward's hands moved from my hips up to my breasts. His hands massage my breasts as his thumbs rubbed my nipples. I threw my head back and moaned as I felt another orgasm approaching. Edward suddenly sat up and wrapped his arms around my body as I started to move faster. I saw fireworks as he grounded up against me and I exploded everywhere. I wrapped my legs around Edward's waist and held him close as I rode out my high.

"Shit," Edward whispered into my neck. "I'm not going to last."

My fingers made their way into his hair and I gripped it in my hands. I pulled his face back and slammed my lips down, as I moved even quicker on top of him. Edward's hands moved to my hips and tightened as he guided me along. Edward let out a loud groan as he came undone, which trigged another orgasm for me. Edward and I sat there for a couple minutes, panting and letting the shocks of pleasure run through our body. We eventually lay down on the bed on our sides facing each other. I smiled as Edward reached out and moved strands of my hair from my sweat soaked forehead.

"That was amazing," I mumbled, suddenly feeling exhausted.

Edward nodded his head. "Yeah, it was."

Tears came to my eyes as I realized we were back. There was nothing between us anymore. It was just me and him. Edward saw the tears in my eyes and began to worry.

I shook my head. "I'm fine, I was just thinking… I…" I took a deep breath. "We're really us again."

A tear escaped my eye and Edward wiped it away with his thumb. He leaned forward and gave me a soft kiss. He pulled the blankets up over us and took me into his arms. I snuggled closer to him and closed my eyes.

"I love you," I breathed out.

Edward kissed my forehead and whispered, "My heart belongs to you."

"Are you sure you're going to be ok?" Charlie asked me for the fifth time as he grabbed his jacket and gun holster off the coat rack.

"Yes, I'm sure! I am an adult, you know. I can be left alone in the house," I said with a smile.

"I know that," Charlie mumbled. "I just don't like to leave you alone, especially with the Cullens so far away."

Edward and his family were out for another hunting trip and had been gone for three days, but would be back tomorrow, since it was Christmas Eve. I put my hands on Charlie's back and started to push him out the door.

"Edward and his family will be back tomorrow afternoon. You're only going to the station for a couple hours; it's not a big deal. Go!"

"But what if you need something or need to go somewhere?" Charlie protested.

I opened the front door and motioned outside. "Edward left his Volvo here for me. So, if I need anything, I'll use that. Now go! I'll be fine!"

Charlie protested for a couple more minutes before finally giving in. I waved him off and shut the door. I leaned against the front door and couldn't contain the smile on my face. A night alone was just what I needed. When the clock in the living room chimed, I was brought out of my thoughts and was reminded of what I wanted to do. I ran over and grabbed my iPhone and Edward's car keys.

I quickly dialed the number as I locked up my house and headed towards the shiny, silver, Volvo.

"Hey Angela, its Bella. Is it still ok that I come over to grab that?"

* * *

_I walked down a path to an open clearing. The place was familiar though I couldn't quiet place exactly where I was. I looked to my right and saw two motorcycles sitting there. I walked over to the motorcycles. I knew them. They were mine and Jacob's. My hand ran over the metal of the bikes and I smiled as I remembered all the good times they had. I heard something behind me and turned around. I stared in shock at the person before me._

_It was Jake._

_My Jake stood in front of me._

_His hair was long like it used to be, and he was beautiful. _

"_Jake?" I whispered._

_He smiled that wonderful smile I remembered, and said, "Hey, Bells."_

_I ran into his arms. I couldn't help it. We stood there for what seemed like forever, just holding each other, before he whispered, "I can't stay."_

_I pulled back and looked up at him. Tears were on the verge of spilling but I didn't care. "What do you mean you can't stay? I want you to stay"_

_Jacob smiled down at me as he brushed as piece of hair out of my face. "I wish I could. I just wanted to say I was sorry"_

_I looked at him, confused. I knew there was a reason why he was saying it, but at the time, I wasn't sure of what that reason was. The tears finally spilled and Jacob wiped them away with his thumbs._

"_I miss you," I whispered. _

"_I miss you," Jacob answered with a sad smile._

_I didn't know why I was feeling this way. I didn't want to let him go, because I knew if I did, I would never see him again. _

"_I love you. I'm sorry for getting lost," he whispered. _

_With tears spilling down my eyes, I said, "I love you, too."_

_When Jacob started to pull away, I panicked and held onto him tighter. "I don't want you to go."_

_Jacob gave me one final smile before leaning in and whispering in my ear, "I'll always be with you"_

_When he moved back, he placed his lips on my own. They were soft and warm. This wasn't like any other kiss we had experienced before. It was beautiful, and we both wanted it. The kiss ended as quickly as it started, but was meaningful none the less._

_Jacob leaned his forehead on mine and whispered, "Goodbye."_

* * *

I woke with a gasp and looked around my room. When I realized it had all a dream, I started to cry immediately. I cried hard and tears raced down my face. I cried for everything that I couldn't before. But mostly, I cried for my best friend. I cried for his death and the fact that I would never see him again. I lay down in my bed and wrapped the covers around him. I wished Edward was there to hold me, but wouldn't dare ask him to leave his family. I bit my lip as I continued to cry. I didn't want to alert Charlie because then he would come into my room and just sit there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. I wouldn't even know how to explain it. I was finally mourning the friend I had lost so long ago, and it hurt more than I could possibly imagine. It was only a second later when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I quickly shot my head over my shoulder and saw Edward leaning over my bed with a concerned look on his face. For some reason, when I saw him, the tears came at full force and I started sobbing. Edward immediately took me into his arms and held me the entire time. He never said a word. He just rocked me back and forth and gave me the comfort I needed. When I finally calmed down, my head and eyes hurt, and my throat was dry. Edward and I still didn't say anything; we just lay there in silence. It wasn't long before I realized he should have been hunting.

"What…" My voice was scratchy, so I had to cough slightly to be able to speak somewhat normally. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be hunting"

"Alice saw you. I had to come make sure you were ok," he whispered. "Did you have another nightmare?"

I shook my head and sniffled. Confusion crossed his face as I sat up and wiped my own. Edward sat up with me as I explained my dream to him. He took me in his arms again and kissed my forehead.

"I'm sorry if that upsets you. I need you to know, though, that it was never a question of who I wanted to be with. Yes, I loved him, but I love you more. Always have," I mumbled.

Edward let out a slight chuckle and shook his head. "I know. It doesn't upset me in the slightest, love."

I bit my lip. I knew what I wanted to do and I needed to do it today.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?" he answered as he breathed in the scent of my hair.

"Can you take me to visit Jacob's grave?"


	20. Chapter 19

**In my mind Edward is mine and I have him locked in my closet for my own personal fun. But this is reality, and everything belongs to Stephanie :(**

* * *

**BPOV**

It wasn't until later when were actually making the plans to go visit Jacob's grave, that I realized that Jacob was buried down at La Push, and Edward wasn't allowed to go there. We stopped at the flower shop just outside of La Push where I purchased one white rose and one red. The plan was that Edward was going to drive me to the treaty line where I would meet Billy and Seth. Then, they would take me to Jacob's grave. Sam had allowed permission for Edward to come with me, but I told Edward this was something I needed to do alone. Edward understood without question and told me he would be right there waiting for me. Plus, Sam let it slip that some of the pack still held Edward and I accountable for what happened to Jacob, and though they had to listen to their Alpha's orders, they still weren't too happy about letting Edward over into La Push. They couldn't say anything about me, since I was still, in fact, human and not signed to any treaty. As we pulled up to the treaty line, my heart started to race. I hadn't seen Seth or Billy since before everything happened, and I was completely nervous.

"Are you ok?" Edward asked as he parked the car.

I stared out the window at the two men and nodded my head. "I'm just a little nervous. What if they hate me?"

Edward brought my hand up to his mouth and kissed my knuckles. "I could tell you exactly what they are thinking"

I rolled my eyes at him and continued to look out the window. I never asked Edward to tell me what someone was thinking before, but at that moment, it would be extremely helpful. I looked over at him and nodded.

"They are just as nervous as you, and are worried about the same exact thing you are."

I looked over at Edward, shocked. Why would I hate them? He gave me one last reassuring nod before he got out of the car. I took a deep breath before stepping out myself. Edward held onto the flowers for me as I made my way over to Billy and Seth. When I got a good look at Billy, my heart broke. He looked worn down and tired. It seemed like he aged ten years in just a couple of months.

I stopped about two feet in front of them and gave Billy a sad smile. "Hi, Billy."

Billy smiled up at me, washing all my fears away. "Bella, sweetheart. How are you?"

I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at my hands. "I'm sorry, Billy," I started softly before looking back up at him with tears in my eyes. "For everything."

Billy's eyes shined with unshed tears, but the smile remained on his face. His arms opened up and I leaned down and hugged him.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, my dear," he whispered. "It was not your fault."

Billy and I pulled away a second later and I turned to Seth. Though he was twice my size, his face still reminded me of the young boy he actually was.

"Bella!" Seth cried out right before he pulled me into a tight hug. His hug reminded me of Jacob's and I couldn't help but smile. When we pulled away I looked up at him and smiled genuinely.

"Seth, how are you? God, you keep growing!"

Seth chuckled and nodded his head. "Yeah, so I've been told!"

The four of us stood there, making small talk, avoiding the obvious reason I was there. I didn't mind. I didn't want to speak the words out loud, they were still too hard. Seth was the first one that spoke.

"So, I'm going to take you to… the ugh…"

I nodded my head, letting him know he didn't have to finish.

"Edward, as you know, you have permission from Sam to escort Bella if you wish," Billy stated softly.

Edward started to shake his head. "Thanks, Billy, but Bella wants to do this on her own. I'm going to just wait here"

"That's not necessary, Edward. I won't be going with Seth and Bella. You may wait at my house, if you wish"

Edward nodded his head. "That would be great, Billy, thank you"

* * *

"His grave is just up there. I'll wait here for you. Take your time," Seth said to me.

I nodded once and made my way into the direction he pointed. My heart was pounding in my chest and my grip on the flowers in my hand was causing the stems to dent. I think I took about a million deep breaths before I came up to the tombstone. It was granite Himalayan blue and was oval shaped. Engraved in lovely font on the front said:

**In loving memory of Jacob Ephraim Black**

**Friend, Son, and Brother**

**January 1992 - August 2009**

Under all of that was an inscription written in the Quileute language. Tears came to my eyes as I knelt before the grave.

"Hey, Jake," I whispered as I put the flowers down onto the ground. I leaned up and brushed leaves from the base of the grave.

"I miss you every day. I miss riding our bike's together. I miss walking on the beach." I looked down at my lap. "I just miss you. I'm sorry it took me so long to see that."

I lifted my hand and traced the letters of his name as silent tears came down my face. I talked to his grave as if I was talking to a person. I explained to him all the feelings I never could before. I apologized for hurting him and not being there when I should have been. But I mostly just sat there. For some reason, just sitting there, I felt more close to Jacob than I had in months.

"I'm sorry I let you get so lost. I should have been there to help. I'll never forgive myself," I whispered. I leaned forward and kissed the tombstone. "Goodbye, Jake"

The wind blew as I stood up, brushed the dirt from my pants, turned and walked away. I held myself as I walked back towards Seth. He stood there with a small smile on his face.

"You ready to go?"

I nodded my head and wiped my face free of tears. "What time is it?"

"Going on four," Seth responded as we walked back towards his mother's car.

My head snapped up towards him. We had been there for almost two and a half hours. "Seth, I'm so sorry! I didn't know we had been here for so long! You should have said something."

Seth waved his hand dismissively. "It's nothing, Bells. Don't worry about it."

I gave him a grateful smile as we pulled away from the graveyard. I stared out the window, towards the direction of Jacob's grave. I wanted to believe I would come back to visit, but deep down, I knew that wasn't going to happen, so I said my final goodbyes. When Edward changed me, it would break the treaty, and we would have to leave. I doubted we would ever come back to Forks, and if by some chance, we were allowed to, I wouldn't be allowed down La Push, anyway. I let out a deep breath. I had to tell Edward I was ready to marry him along with telling Charlie that I would be leaving with him. We didn't need to keep up the lie that I would be going to college. It wouldn't be fair to Charlie. I would have to explain to him that this was my choice, and I wouldn't be able to see him for a while. It would hurt, but it would be better because I wouldn't have to lie to him and could see him as soon as my newborn year was over with. Renee would be a different story. We would have to keep up the lie for her, but that wouldn't be too hard, anyway. I would see Renee for the wedding and I could say my goodbyes then.

I was brought out of my thoughts when we pulled up to the border line where Billy and Edward were waiting. Apparently, Seth had called when we were walking back to let them know we were done. I was glad. I didn't think I could handle seeing Jacob's house with all the memories. As soon as I got out of the car, I ran right into Edward's arms. His cold embrace made me feel like I was home.

"Are you ok?" he asked as I looked up at him.

I gave him a little smile and said, "I'm amazing."

I let go of Edward and walked over to Billy. I gave him a hug before giving Seth one, too. I thanked them both for all their help, wished them a Merry Christmas, and told them I would see them again soon, though I think we all knew that was a lie.

I stopped right before Edward and I got into his car and turned around. "Seth!"

Seth turned around as I raced over to him. I couldn't believe I almost forgot. I reached into my back pocket and pulled out the piece of paper. "Um, I wanted… erh… can you give this to your sister?"

Seth looked at the piece of paper before grabbing and nodding his head. I gave him another hug and a kiss on the cheek before turning back to Edward's car. We made our way back towards town. He never asked how it went and I never told him. It was an understanding between the two of us that if I wanted to talk about it, I would, and that was all we needed.

I woke up the next morning to the smell of chestnuts and the faint sound of Christmas music playing from downstairs. I started to stretch when I felt arms pull me close to a hard chest.

"Merry Christmas, love," Edward whispered in my ear before giving me a kiss.

I opened my eyes to see Edward's arm raised above my head, and dangling from his fingers was a sterling silver necklace with a hallow heart charm. I sat up slowly and looked at the necklace. It was beautiful.

"What's this?" I asked as I looked over at him.

He smiled at me and said, "Part of your Christmas present"

I looked at him skeptically. "Part?"

Edward chuckled and sat up. "We had a deal. Since you admitted my Christmas present was expensive, I didn't have a limit for yours." I rolled my eyes. "You don't like it?"

Edward's face fell a little and I could tell he was nervous. "God, no, I love it. It's beautiful," I said as I took the necklace from him. Engraved on the one side of the heart was a saying.

_Love never fails._

Tears came to my eyes. It was the most perfect saying. I leaned over and gave Edward a kiss.

"Thank you. Merry Christmas" I whispered.

Edward helped me put the necklace on before giving me another kiss. This Christmas was already twenty times better than last years.

I played with the charm on the necklace as I asked, "What time is it?"

"Just past…"

But before Edward could finish his sentence, Emmett came crashing through the bedroom door. When I saw him, I threw my head back and laughed. Emmett stood there in a one piece red and green footie pajamas. Both Edward and I laughed hysterically on the bed as Emmett posed in his pajamas.

"You two laugh, but you both _know_ I look good," Emmett said seriously.

I had to hold my sides because it hurt I was laughing so hard and tears were even coming down my face. Edward was hiding his face in my neck, but he was laughing just as hard as I was.

"Ok, that's enough! It's time to get up, Bella! I've been waiting since dawn! I wanted to wake you up, but Assward over here wouldn't let me! Even the Chief is up before you, so let's gooooooooo!" Emmett hollered while the entire time jumping up and down.

Edward and I finally calmed down enough to get out of bed. I still had a snicker or two because Emmett in those Christmas pajamas was, hands down, the funniest thing I had ever seen. I went into the bathroom and did my normal routine before heading down the stairs. My dad was waiting at the bottom of the stairs with two cups of coffee.

"Merry Christmas, Bells," Charlie said with a smile as he handed me a cup of coffee.

I leaned up and gave him a kiss on the cheek before taking the cup. "Thanks, Dad, you, too. How did you sleep?"

Charlie had slept at the Cullens last night with me so we could all spend Christmas together. He was the one that actually suggested it, which surprised me completely.

"Like a rock. You better get in there," Charlie started with a motion of the head. "Emmett's been going crazy since I woke up."

"He's been going crazy all night," I mumbled as we made our way into the living room.

The Cullen household was a sight to be seen during Christmas time. White and silver Christmas decorations were all over the place and the tree was gigantic, filled with beautiful decorations and lights that twinkled every couple of seconds. It was like our own personal Christmas town. When I walked into the living room, the sight before me made my eyes water. Charlie sat with Carlisle and Esme on the couch, making small talk like old friends. Emmett sat in front of the tree, bouncing like a little kid, while Rosalie sat in a chair behind him, shaking her head with a very small, almost nonexistent smile. Alice ran up to me and gave me a big hug, which I returned as equally as I could. We walked to the couch to join Edward and Jasper. I sat down and brought my legs up onto the couch to sit Indian style.

"Ok, Emmett," I said as I blew into my coffee. "I'm here now."

Emmett immediately grabbed a present and started to shake it. Edward rolled his eyes and said, "Read the name tag, Em."

Emmett brought the present in front of him and said, "To Charlie, From Alice and Jasper"

A slight tint came to Charlie's cheeks as he leaned forward and grabbed the box. He wasn't used to presents like this; it was always just gifts between us.

"Why don't you kids open your presents first, then us adults we'll open ours last," Charlie said as he looked over at Esme and Carlisle. They both nodded in agreement. I had to hold back a giggle. It was clear that Charlie often forgot that everyone in the room, besides me, was older than him.

Emmett started handing out presents again, more excited than ever. It was amazing to see the gifts everyone bought each other. Some were extravagant, while others were small, but had beautiful meanings. Emmett bought Rosalie a new state of the art tool set for her first gift, and the second was, stuffed brown bear with a blue t-shirt that said "snuggle buddy" on it. Rosalie bought Emmett a football Jersey along with a box of things that we weren't allowed to see, and made Edward groan. Jasper bought Edward a book of sheet music while Edward bought him a new coat for the motorcycle he gave him so long ago. I wasn't sure what Edward and Alice bought each other, they just said they exchanged their gifts earlier. Alice and Jasper's gift to each other was a vacation they would be taking next month. Edward and I got Rosalie and Emmett tickets to the Pearl Jam concert in Seattle, while they got us a new computer. Esme and Carlisle got each of us, Charlie excluded, a thousand dollar visa gift card. They got Charlie two new fishing rods. I almost choked on my coffee when I saw it. But Edward explained that was the normal gift they got every year because the kids refused to take any gifts since Carlisle and Esme already did so much for them. I just smiled and said thank you. Edward and I bought Charlie a new fishing rack to hold his new fishing rods, plus had room for all his old ones. He really loved it. Alice and Jasper got him a new fishing vest, while Rosalie and Emmett bought him a bucket full of fishing accessories. When it came time to get my gifts, I was overwhelmed. Alice bought me three outfits, which I bit my lip about- it was Christmas after all- while Jasper bought me a new a docking system for my iPhone so I could listen to music when I wanted. I got Alice a purse that I knew she would love and Jasper an acoustic guitar. Edward bought me more jewelry, which I gave him a dirty look for, and an old fashioned jewelry box.

"Edward," I breathed out as I looked at the jewelry box in amazement, "this is beautiful. Where did you find it?"

Edward let out a little cough and said, "It was my mother's."

My eyes snapped up towards him. His face had a look I couldn't quite explain. I put the jewelry box in my lap and leaned over to give him a kiss.

"I love it, thank you," I said as I leaned back and looked back down at the jewelry box. "That wasn't so bad; I thought you were going to do much worse."

The second the words were out of my mouth, Edward's whole body tensed. My eyes narrowed as everyone else chuckled around me. Edward reached out and opened the jewelry box. Inside was a small white box. I gave Edward a look before I picked the box up and opened it. Inside was a single key. My eyes went wide and my jaw dropped.

"You bought me a car?" I all but shrieked.

Edward looked at me innocently. "Merry Christmas, love"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I would not flip out. It was Christmas. I would not flip out. I took another deep breath before I opened my eyes and forced a smile. "Thank you, but now you have to wait until my father is done giving out his presents until you get yours."

Edward chuckled and shook his head as my Dad got up and walked to the other side of the room.

"How much trouble am I in?" Edward whispered in my ear.

"Heeps," I answered with a smile. Edward let out another chuckle before he kissed my forehead.

"Well, ugh," Charlie started out nervously, "when I was growing up, my mother always told me that memories were the most important thing one could keep, and it was tradition for all the couples in my family to have their own chest. My mother gave Bella's mother and me one when we got married, and it held a lot of good memories for us. I wanted to pass along that tradition to you guys."

When he was done speaking, Charlie removed the sheet that was next to him to reveal four wooden chests. We all gasped as we made our way over to the chests. Each chest had a black, metal lock, and names engraved on the top. Carlisle and Esme. Rosalie and Emmett. Alice and Jasper. Edward and Bella. I looked down at mine and Edward's chest in amazement. They were beautiful. I ran my fingers over Edward's name and smiled. I looked up to see Charlie blushing as Esme gave him a kiss on the cheek and thanked him for the wonderful gift.

Charlie mumbled thanks, before everyone moved back to their previous spaces.

"Do I get my present now, love?" Edward asked with a smirk.

I shook my head. "Nope, now Carlisle and Esme get theirs."

Edward laughed as I stood and grabbed a wrapped present from under the tree. I walked over to Carlisle and Esme and handed them the box.

"This is for both of you. Merry Christmas."

Carlisle and Esme both smiled at me before they started to open the gift. I bit my lip as they unwrapped it. I didn't know why I was nervous, I just really wanted them to like their gift. When they opened the box, Esme gasped as Carlisle wrapped his arms around her. In the box was a picture frame. It was silver with different carvings and designs all over it. In the picture frame was the picture Angela had taken of all of us in their pool that day we all went swimming.

"Angela took that the summer after I met you guys. I thought you would like it," I said softly.

Esme handed the picture frame to Carlisle before standing and walking over to me. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me close.

"Bella, it's wonderful! Thank you so much!"

She leaned back and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I couldn't help but smile. Carlisle embraced me next.

"A picture of all my children. I couldn't have asked for a better gift," Carlisle whispered in my ear.

"Angela can make more copies of it, if you would like to take a copy to work."

Carlisle nodded. "I would like that very much, thank you."

I nodded my head in response and walked over to the tree to grab Edward's gift. The only unopened present was hidden behind everything else. I pulled out the small box and walked over to Edward. My heart was beating wildly in my chest and my palms were starting to sweat. I looked over at Alice who was practically vibrating in her seat. She gave me an encouraging nod and smile. I took one final breath before walking over to Edward and handing him the box.

"Merry Christmas," I whispered as I sat down next to him.

Edward gave me a smile before he unwrapped the box and opened it. I think his whole body went still as he stared into the box. He didn't move or make any noise for a good minute before I said, "They're our wedding rings. I had them made."

Inside of the box were two white gold wedding bands, one female, and one male. Edward still wasn't saying anything and I was starting to get nervous. I looked around the room, and everyone, but Alice, had the same shocked expression on their faces. I turned back to Edward and grabbed the rings out of the box.

"I had them inscribed. See," I said as I showed him the rings.

On the inside of each ring, was the same inscription.

_So the lion fell in love with the lamb._

Edward stared at the rings, still not saying anything. A lump formed in my throat.

"You hate them. I'm sorry… I just…"

"Shut up," Edward whispered, and my eyes went wide. Edward shook his head and said, "I apologize, that was rude of me. Please, forgive me."

I nodded my head and stared at him.

"Bella, what are… I mean… does this mean?" he asked in a whisper.

I smiled. He didn't hate them. He was confused. I grabbed his hand in my own and brought it to my lips. I squeezed his hand and took a deep breath.

"Edward Anthony, will you marry me?" I asked with tears in my eyes.

A huge smile broke out on Edward's face before he yanked me into his arms and kissed me. Cheers broke out around us, but we didn't take notice. We were the only two people in the room. It wasn't until a loud cough came from right next to us that we broke apart.

"Sorry, Dad," I mumbled with a red face.

Charlie just chuckled, shook his head, and took a sip of his coffee.

Edward and I stared at each other. Words didn't have to be spoken, we understood how we felt. I wanted to marry him, and he knew.

"Well, thank GOD that it's out now! Bella, you and I have some _major_ planning to do!" Alice cried out with a clap.

Edward looked back and forth between me and his sister. "Is this what you've been hiding from me?"

Alice nodded her head with a huge smile. "It was a lot harder than I thought, because all I wanted to do was plan plan plan!"

Everyone in the room laughed as Alice started to shoot off her plans for our wedding, but Edward and I weren't paying attention. We were wrapped up in our own little world. It was the best Christmas ever.

* * *

**EPOV**

I looked down at my phone to check the message that I had.

_**Charlie and I are going out for lunch! I miss you! Bag a big lion for me! :)**_

I smiled at the message and put my phone back in my pocket. I was hunting with my family on the out skirts of Washington. I hadn't seen Bella in over twenty four hours and I was definitely missing her. I would be back in Forks late that night; she would probably be sleeping, so I tried to talk myself out of waking her when I got there. That wasn't working out too well. Tomorrow was New Years and my family and I were surprising Bella and Charlie by taking them Seattle for the ball dropping. Alice said they would love it and have a great time. I smiled as I thought about the last week with Bella.

When Bella told me she wanted to continue with the wedding, it took everything I had not to jump up for joy. After everything that had happened, and after all the times she spoke against marriage, she finally wanted to marry me. I was beyond thrilled and completely surprised when she started planning with Alice, Esme, and Rosalie. The invitations were sent out the next night and the band and caterers ordered two days later. We were getting married January twenty first. Bella was being a good sport about everything, I had to say. She gave her honest opinions about the flowers and even told Alice she would wear high heels for the wedding ceremony, if she was allowed to slip into flats for the reception. Alice reluctantly agreed. Every day it was something new. What kind of music would be played, what kind of dinner the guests would eat, the human guests, of course, and the color of the bridesmaid dresses. Alice wanted to stay home from the family hunting trip, but Bella pushed her to go. Saying she needed a little ''breather.'' Alice agreed only when Bella promised they would go look at wedding dresses next week. My sister was persistent.

I walked back over to my family. I was about to greet them when I heard Alice gasp and then saw the vision that would stay with me for the rest of my life. My eyes went wide and before anyone could say anything, I took off towards Forks. I could hear my family follow me as Alice explained the vision she saw.

_No._

Panic soared through me as I pushed myself to run faster.

"We're not going to make it!" Alice yelled.

I growled and pushed myself even faster. I would make it. I had to. I couldn't think. My mind was completely blank as I ran. Flashes came to my mind causing me to sob loudly.

_Oh god, please._

I prayed over and over again. But it did no help. My family called for me, trying to tell me to be calm, but I ignored them. I just had to run faster. I made it to the secluded road in record time, but not quick enough. When I stepped onto the road, I was just in time to see Forks' Chief of Police cruiser flip for the second time, before landing upside down.


	21. Chapter 20

**In my mind Edward is mine and I have him locked in my closet for my own personal fun. But this is reality, and everything belongs to Stephanie :(**

* * *

**EPOV**

I ran over to the police cruiser and cried out at what I saw. Bella's upper body was thrown through the front shield and her lower body was still inside the car while Charlie was hanging upside down, secured by his seat belt. Both of their heartbeats were almost nonexistent, but the sound of coughing told me Bella was conscious. I raced over to her and pulled her out of the car just in time for my family's arrival.

"Bella!" I cried out as I cradled her in my arms.

She looked up at me frantically as she tried to speak.

"Shh, save your breath," I whispered while I wiped her hair out of her face. My eyes stung with venom and I had to chock back tearless sobs.

I kept my eyes on hers as I whispered words of encouragement to her. Her left arm was broken and both knees were crushed. She was coughing up blood and was struggling to breathe. I barely noticed Carlisle as he checked over her body. My sobs were too loud and I couldn't remove my eyes from her face. I was vaguely aware of the sound of my family talking. They were trying to decide what they were going to do.

"Her ribs are broken. One is lodged into her lung. She only has minutes," Carlisle whispered.

I looked up at him, shocked, before looking back down at Bella. She was still coughing as her eyes searched my own.

"I… l-love… You…" Bella coughed as she reached her hand up to caress my face.

I let out an enraged yell before I bent down and sunk my teeth into her neck. I didn't have a choice. I didn't want to change her like this, I wanted it to be on her time. But if I didn't, she would die. I had no choice. Her blood flowed into my mouth and it tasted amazing. The monster inside of my screamed to continue but I couldn't. I pulled away before anyone could tell me I had to stop. I quickly stood and ran towards my house. I had no other thoughts, no other concerns, but to get Bella home. I didn't care how they would explain the car accident, I didn't care if they entire town saw me carrying a bloody and broken Bella; I just needed to get her home. I ran up to my room and laid her down on the bed. Her breathing was erratic and her jaw was tense. She hadn't made a sound. I began to wonder if I did it right. I knelt down next to the bed and took her hand in my own.

"She's fine, Edward." Carlisle's voice startled me.

He walked over to the bed and moved her broken arm so that it was lying straight and did the same with her legs. It was then I heard the screaming coming from downstairs. My brows came together in confusion before turning into anger.

"Who?" I demanded.

Carlisle closed his eyes for a brief second before opening them again and tending to Bella's bones. I saw in his mind how he remembered the accident. Alice and Esme pulled Charlie from the car, before Alice sunk her teeth into Charlie's neck. I let out a low growl and squeezed my eyes shut.

"He would have died, Edward," I heard Alice whisper from the doorway.

"It wasn't your decision," I growled at her through clenched teeth.

"She would have been devastated," Alice whispered. "She wants this."

My head snapped over to hers. "You see her?"

Alice gave me a faint smile and nodded. "She's going to be beautiful."

I turned my head back towards my love and brushed the hair from her forehead. "She's already beautiful," I whispered as I stroked her hand.

"Her bones are set. She'll start healing fairly quickly now." Carlisle reassured me, but he wasn't telling me what I wanted to hear.

"She's not making a sound, Carlisle. Shouldn't she be screaming now?" I asked, concerned.

Carlisle continued to check over her vitals, his thoughts filled with nothing but medical knowledge. I started to rock back and forth. He wasn't answering me.

"Carlisle," I said again, but he still didn't answer.

Carlisle opened Bella's eyes and shined a light in them. They were reacting normally, but were completely bloodshot.

"Her eyes are reacting normally, and the bones are healing normally," he mumbled to himself as he removed his stethoscope and put it back in his bag.

"Carlisle!" I screamed.

He finally snapped his eyes towards mine. I stared at him with a locked jaw and eyes burning with fear. Carlisle reached over and put his hand on my shoulder.

"She's going to be fine, son. The transformation has already started."

I let out a sigh of relief right before Bella started to whimper.

"Bella, love," I called out to her, hoping she would answer. Bella's eyes shot open as she looked over at me. Her face scrunched up in pain as the tears started to come down her eyes. I barely took notice that Carlisle left the room as I leaned down, my face only inches from hers.

"You're ok, love. You're going to be fine. It's the venom, do you feel it?" Bella nodded her head and locked her jaw further. I wanted to cry. I knew why she wasn't screaming; she was trying to make it easier on me.

"It's ok," I whispered to her. "Don't hold it in. It's ok. I'm here. I'm not leaving you. I'm ok."

I gave her a kiss on her forehead before the screams started, and they didn't stop for three hours straight.

* * *

"_Do you really have to do this?" Bella whined as I guided her towards our garage with my hands covering her eyes. _

"_Yes, now will you stop whining?" I said with a chuckle. _

_Bella let out a huff and crossed her arms. My entire family was following behind us. None of them knew what kind of car I had gotten Bella, except Alice, of course. I wanted to keep it a complete surprise. When we finally made it to the garage, everyone was pleasantly surprised._

"_Shit," Charlie mumbled, causing me to chuckle, while Rosalie was having fantasies of working on it. _

"_Dude! That's a nice car!" Emmett cried out which caused Bella to whimper. _

_I threw him a dirty look before leaning in to whisper into Bella's ear, "Now, if you don't like the color, we can always change it, but I thought it suited you."_

_I moved my hands and watched as Bella's eyes first adjusted to the light, then took in the car before her. It was a shiny, blue 2010 Chevrolet Camaro. Bella's eyes went wide, and though she tried to hide it, a small smile formed on her face._

"_Do you like it?" I asked her, but I had a feeling I already knew the answer. _

_Bella looked over at me with one of the cutest smiles I had ever seen._

"_I love it," she whispered, before wrapping her arms around my neck and giving me one of the sweetest kisses. _

* * *

"Edward?"

I lifted my head and looked at the door. Alice stood there with thoughts of nothing but concern for me. I hadn't moved from Bella's side, or spoken to anyone else since the accident. Carlisle came in to check on her and explained that she and Charlie were doing extremely well, but I didn't care. It was taking forever for the change to happen and I was becoming impatient.

I squeezed my eyes shut as Alice's thoughts invaded my mind.

"Emmett and Jasper are on their way to take care of it," she whispered as she walked into the room.

I let out a sigh and brought Bella's hand to my lips. "I don't want to deal with it, Alice."

"You have to. They will be finished just in time for the deputy to see the crash. Angela Weber will drive by with her family, see it and come right here to you. You have to play the part, Edward."

I shook my head slightly. I didn't want to play the part. I wanted to sit here with Bella until she opened her eyes again.

"People will suspect something if you don't. It will end badly," she whispered as she showed me flashes of our future. Images of news stories of my disappearance and rumors flooding the town of me being guilty of causing the accident. I let out an aggravated groan and stared straight ahead. I would have to play the part, whether I wanted to or not.

"Angela will be here in little over an hour. You have to act like you don't know anything, then you're going to have to call Renee. We all have a role to play, Edward. We have to act like Bella and Charlie died in that car accident and they are gone forever."

I gave her a nod before brushing another hair away from Bella's face. I heard Alice turn to leave before she stopped. "You should check on Charlie, too, she would want that." Then she walked out of the room.

I stared at Bella's face. As much as I wanted to stay by her side, I knew I had to do the right thing. I stood up, leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, love," I whispered into her ear before walking out the bedroom door.

It was time for me to go mourn the human life of my fiancée.

It was exactly seventy-four minutes later when I heard Angela's tires turn onto our long driveway. She was crying, but trying to control herself for when she saw me. When the officers began talking about their deaths, she hopped right into the car. At that moment, she was thinking that it would be better if someone I knew, told me about Bella's death, instead of a stranger. She was also going through flashes of the accident scene in her mind. This was one of the many times I wished I couldn't read minds; I didn't want to see the car. Emmett and Jasper did a great job, though. The cops found Chief's cruiser just three minutes after Emmett and Jasper caused the explosion. It was all working out exactly the way Alice saw it. I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard a knock at the door.

_Don't forget your eye drops._

Alice reminded as I made my way for the door. Right. I needed tears, and I couldn't produce any. I took a deep breath before opening the door. Angela was standing there, hugging her body, her eyes were bloodshot and her nose was running slightly.

"Angela," I tried to sound surprised. "Is everything ok?"

_Oh god, I can't do this. He's going to be so crushed._

I clenched my jaw at her thoughts. I had to act natural.

"Can I come in Edward?" Angela whispered.

I nodded my head and moved out of the way. I didn't trust myself to speak. I longed to go upstairs and be with my love as she went through one of the toughest times in her life. Angela moved into my house as I closed the door behind her.

"Bella's…" I swallowed the lump in my throat as I said her name, "not here, if that's who you're looking for. She's having lunch with her father."

Angela squeezed her eyes shut.

_Keep it together, Angela. He'll need you to be strong. _

Angela took a deep breath and opened her eyes back up. "Actually, I came here for you. Do you think we could talk?"

I nodded and offered to go into the living room. "Would you like something to drink?" I offered as we sat down on the couch. I could see in her mind she wanted to offer that to me, so I did it before she could.

Angela shook her head. "No, thank you."

We sat there in silence as she debated in her head how she would start. I wanted to say something, but every time I tried to open my mouth, nothing came out. She looked completely and utterly devastated. She was truly mourning her friend, and part of me wanted to tell her that it was all a lie. Bella was fine. Well, not fine. But she would be in a little over two days.

"Edward, something happened… and I don't know quite how to say this," she whispered as more tears escaped her eyes.

"Angela, are you in some sort of trouble? Do you need help?" I had to do this. I had to act like I didn't know and it killed me. I didn't want to do this.

Angela let out a slight sob and shook her head again. "Edward, I don't know how to say this."

I put my hand on her shoulder. "Whatever it is, Angela, I'm sure it will be easier if you just say it."

Yes, please just say it. Let this be over and done with so I can go back to Bella.

"There was an accident," Angela blurted out. "Bella and Chief Swan were on their way to lunch when they hit a sink hole in the road… Edward, I'm _so_ sorry."

My brows came together in confusion and I started to breath heavy. I wouldn't have to act this part. I could wear my grief on my sleeve.

"I don't…. ugh…. I don't understand what you're saying."

Angela sniffled. "Edward…"

"But they're…" I cut her off. "They're ok, right? I mean, I just talked to her a couple hours ago. They were going to lunch, are you sure it was them? It could be someone else."

I was talking in a frenzy and had to remind myself that I couldn't go any faster or she wouldn't be able to understand me. Angela reached out and took my hand in her own.

"It was the police cruiser. It was them," she whispered.

"So, it was just a bad accident," I started. "Just a bad accident and they'll be fine."

I didn't know who I was trying to convince. I knew how bad the accident was, but this denial was coming out of nowhere.

Angela shook her head as she looked at me. Tears were falling freely from her eyes now. "Edward, I'm so sorry. She's gone."

My eyes went wide and my body went stiff. I knew this, I knew she was in an accident, and she wasn't gone. She was upstairs, changing, becoming like me. But hearing that she was gone brought back feelings and memories from a time I actually thought she was gone.

"Are you sure?" I whispered.

Angela nodded her head. "There was an explosion. There's nothing left."

I stared off. The story worked. People would believe that Charlie and his daughter were killed in an explosion that was caused by a bad car accident. I started to breath heavy. I needed to play the part so I could get back to my love. I put my head in my hands and started to sob tearlessly uncontrollably. This part wasn't an act. This was for me. I was supposed to protect her and it seemed I failed at every chance.

Angela wrapped her arms around my shoulders as I continued to sob. I should probably have put the eye drops in my eyes to look like tears, but I didn't plan on lifting my head. I heard Esme make her way into the room and ask what was wrong as she sat down next to me and took me into her arms. Angela explained what happened and Esme acted just as frantic. Esme held me as I continued to sob while Angela held my hand. She was a good friend. I would be sad when I couldn't talk to her anymore.

Angela didn't stay any more than she needed to. From her thoughts, she knew she should leave for when we had to tell the rest of our family. I was going to offer to walk her to the door when she stood up and said, "If there is anything that my family or I can do, please don't hesitate to ask," before walking out. She was about to break down again and didn't want me to see her like that. I was worried about her driving while she was so upset, but Alice came into the room and reassured me that she would be fine.

"You were perfect, she didn't have a single doubt," Rosalie said to me as she came into the room with Emmett. Alice was with Bella and Carlisle was with Charlie. Jasper had to leave. All the pain in the house was too much for him.

I didn't say anything. I just took my cell phone out of my pocket.

"What are you doing?" Esme asked from her seat next to me.

"I have to call Renee and tell her that her daughter and ex husband were killed."

Esme put her hand on the phone right before I hit the call button. "Edward, don't you think that I or your father should do this?"

I shook my head. "No, I'll do it."

Esme gave me a slight nod before she left the room, having Rosalie and Emmett follow her. I took a deep breath and pressed send on the phone. This was going to be one of the hardest conversations I would ever have in my life.

"Edward! What a pleasant surprise! How are you?" Renee sounded so happy. I hated myself for what I had to do.

"Renee, there's been an accident," I started softly.

* * *

I sat next to my love and held her hand. I had cleaned up all the dried blood that had been on her and put her into fresh clothes. Alice tried to talk me into her putting a dress on her, but I just growled at her causing her to huff and leave the room. It had been two days since I called Renee, and since the town had found out about Charlie and Bella's death. Renee would be in town tomorrow, and together we would make the funeral arrangements. My family and I had been over to Charlie and Bella's house. We grabbed some clothes for them, but not much that someone would take notice. We decided to wait until Renee was there to go through the personal items, there would be items she would want to keep, and when Charlie and Bella were awake, we would ask them what they wanted.

The hardest part out of all the days was telling the werewolves. They heard about the accident and had arrived at our house just seconds after I ended the call with Renee. It was Seth, Sam, Paul and Billy Black. Though Sam and Seth appeared in their human form, Paul remained a wolf. Carlisle and I went outside to explain, while Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Esme prepared for an attack. We broke the treaty. They had the right to attack.

But they didn't.

We explained to Sam everything that happened and explained how they would have died. Carlisle told them how this was Bella's wish, though they were unsure of Charlie, it would have been what Bella would want. That was when Billy explained it was what Charlie wanted, too. It was the reason they had gotten into that argument so many months ago.

* * *

_Charlie had gone down to the reservation to go fishing with Billy. They were packing up the truck when Billy asked how everything was going with the search._

"_Carlisle called two nights ago. Said they picked up a trail and were heading towards them. It's like they are always one step behind them," Charlie mumbled as he lifted the fishing bucket into the truck._

"_For what it's worth, Charlie, I'm sorry. I had no idea Jacob would go and do something like this," Billy said softly. _

_Charlie nodded. "I know that, Billy. I just wish you would have told me the truth about all you guys before this."_

"_Would that have made it better?" Billy asked._

"_I don't know, but I wish Bella would have told me about the Cullens, too. But it all makes sense now, those looks she was giving me for a while. She was planning to say goodbye."_

_Billy nodded. "She would have to, Charlie. It would break the treaty and she couldn't be around you anymore."_

"_If she would have just told me, we would have made the plans together, we wouldn't have to say goodbye," Charlie said as he closed up the truck and moved around to the driver's side._

_Billy followed as quickly as possible in his wheelchair. _

"_What do you mean?"_

_Charlie let out a sigh and turned back to Billy. "I mean that if Bella wants that life, then I want it, too. I'd rather become one of them, and spend eternity with her, than go the rest of my life not seeing my daughter."_

"_You're not serious, Charlie."_

_Charlie looked Billy in the eye and said, "I'm completely serious. She's my whole world. I don't ever want to lose her, and that way, I won't."_

* * *

Billy explained the fight got heated after that. Both of them screaming at each other trying to explain each of their sides. The fight ended with Charlie jumping into his truck and speeding out of La Push. The next time they talked was when Charlie showed up right after Jacob's death. I was completely surprised. I never saw that in Charlie's mind, ever.

After Billy told us that story, he asked if he could go see Charlie, to say his final goodbyes. He knew he would never see his friend again. Sam explained to us that this would not affect the treaty because Billy willed it. And since Billy was the only direct descendent from Ephraim Black, then they obeyed it. They truly were an amazing pack.

"Edward," Alice called from the doorway. I looked up to see her smiling. "Charlie will be waking up in three minutes."

I heard as my family raced into Charlie's room. I knew I had to go down there, but I didn't want to leave her. If Charlie was changing, Bella wouldn't be too far behind.

_Edward._

I groaned when I heard my mother's voice. I kissed Bella softly on the forehead before making my way into the room that held Charlie. Surprisingly enough, Charlie's transformation was easy and completely normal. No different than anyone else's, and nothing like his daughters. His memory was fuzzy, as expected, but we filled in the blanks. Charlie asked for Bella almost immediately. Right after he asked for blood, of course. As my family explained to him that he couldn't see Bella until she woke up, I slipped out of the room and went back to my Bella.

Carlisle came into the room ten minutes after and began to check over her.

"She can probably hear you now," he said to me.

Excitement went through me as I leaned closer to her.

"Come on, Bella, love," I whispered. "I'm right here. It's time for you to come back. Everyone's waiting. I'm waiting, love. I'm waiting for you, always."

"Still no change?"

"None," I whispered. It had been almost forty-eight hours since Bella had made a sound, and I was worried.

"Bella? Can you hear me?" Carlisle watched her carefully to see if he could get some kind of response.

_Try talking to her, Edward._

"Bella, love? Can you open your eyes?" There was no response. "Maybe... Carlisle, maybe I was too late."

"Listen to her heart, Edward. It's stronger than even Emmett's was. I have never heard anything so vital. She'll be perfect."

_She's going to be okay, Edward._

"But she's so still," I whispered. "I must have done something wrong."

She was supposed to be screaming and writhing in pain, but she wasn't moving at all.

"You did everything right and then some," he assured me.

"She must be in agony," I sobbed.

Carlisle sighed. "We all were, son. It passes."

"Bella, I love you," I whispered_. _"I'm so sorry."

"It won't be long now," Alice said as she walked into the room.

She showed me a vision of Bella and myself running together in the woods, smiling and laughing, with Bella's skin sparkling in the sun.

"She's really going to be fine," I breathed out in relief.

"Of course she is," Alice said matter of factly.

"Could you give me an estimate on what time?"

"Impatient, are we? Fine. Give me a second…" She looked into the future and saw the clock on the bedside table beside my bed where Bella was lying. It read 5:03pm. It was now 2:57pm.

"Thank you, Alice," I said.

As the time passed, I sat with Bella. Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie took Charlie to meet up with Jasper to go hunt. He was getting thirsty and needed to drink. They all assured him that he would see Bella soon enough and that drinking was the most important thing right now. He relented after only a couple seconds. Around 4:56, Bella's heart began to speed up. It almost sounded like someone starting to pick up the pace on a set of drums.

"Carlisle," I screamed, but he and Alice were already in the room. "Listen."

"Ah," Carlisle said. "It's almost over."

Alice started jumping up and down and squealing. "Soon!" she said, smiling. "I'll call the others." Before she ran out of the room.

Seconds later, Bella's hand twitched. Carlisle and I both gasped before I grabbed her hand.

"Bella? Love?" I asked anxiously. But she didn't respond. I continued to stroke her hand as I gave her words of encouragement. "It's okay, Bella, it's okay. It's almost over. I'm right here. I'm with you, love, I'm with you."

Alice raced back into the room just in time for Bella's heart to go into overdrive before slowing down. We all listened and waited as Bella's heart beat for the last time. And at exactly 5:03pm…

Bella opened her eyes.


	22. Chapter 21

**nothing is mine :(**

* * *

**BPOV**

I could hear everything. I could see everything. I could see the little dust balls flying in the air and hear the animals moving in the earth. I stared out the window, unblinking, unmoving. I didn't have to. My eyes weren't drying out and the muscles in my body weren't begging for me to move. I could stand like that for hours, days, months if I had to. It was amazing to see the world how the Cullens had seen it. The colors were much brighter and everything just seemed alive.

"You ready to go hunt, love?" Edward asked, taking me out of my thoughts.

I looked over at him and smiled. I was still in shock at how different he looked. How many times had I stared at Edward and marveled over his beauty? How many hours – days, weeks – of my life had I spent dreaming about what I then deemed to be perfection? I thought I'd known his face better than my own. I'd thought this was the one sure physical thing in my whole world: the flawlessness of Edward's face. I may as well have been blind. For the first time, with the dimming shadows and limiting weakness of humanity taken off my eyes, I saw his face. I had gasped and then struggled with my vocabulary, unable to find the right words. I needed better words.

The burning in the back of my throat reminded me that was what I wanted. But I still hadn't seen Charlie yet, and didn't want to leave without seeing him first.

"Is my father here yet?"

Edward shook his head. "No, but he'll be here when you get back. They had to go pretty far so they wouldn't run into any humans."

"How long until he's back?"

Edward took a step towards me. "About fifteen minutes. You should hunt, love. I know you're thirsty."

I was, but seeing my father was more important. "I'll wait."

Edward nodded before he came and took me in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him close. He didn't feel cold to me anymore, but warm. It was nice.

"Um… carefully, Bella. Ow" Edward said with a chuckle.

"Oh," I gasped as I let go, worried I had hurt him.

"Don't panic, love. You're just a bit stronger than I am for the moment," Edward explained with a smile.

My eyes went wide. I was stronger than Edward. I made him say _ow._ I smiled.

Edward rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up."

I giggled before snuggling up against his chest.

Exactly sixteen minutes and seven seconds later, my father came crashing through the door.

"Bella!" he called out as he ran into the living room.

I gasped when I saw him. His skin was flawless and his hair seemed darker. He was my father, only with blood red eyes.

"Dad!"

We ran towards each other and hugged like we hadn't seen each other in years. We held onto each other so tight that it actually started to hurt a little.

"Ow," we both said at the same time with a little laugh.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him as we pulled apart.

Charlie laughed and held his arms out to his side. "I feel amazing! I can see everything! Do you hear the cars on the freeway? I do! I just want to run everywhere! I've never felt this good!"

We all laughed at him and he clapped his hands together.

"And hunting! My god, hunting is amazing!"

As my father went on and on about the joys of hunting, the burning in the back of my throat became more noticeable. My body became tense and my jaw locked. It was then it happened. The tires on the dirt were deafening. The roar of the engine seemed louder than everything else, and the wonderful scent of human blood filled the air.

I didn't remember who moved first, Charlie or myself, but we both lunged for the door. Everything went kind of blurry after that. I remember snapping my jaw and throwing people off of me as I tried to make my way out the door. It finally took Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Edward, and Rosalie to get Charlie and myself out of the house. Apparently, the mail man had fallen down while getting out of his truck and scraped his knee pretty bad. He was driving down the road to see if Carlisle was home to see if he should get it checked out or just clean it up. The next thing I knew, the blood of a dead mountain lion filled my senses and I moved quickly drink it up. The burning in the back of my throat went away as the blood poured down it. I knew everyone had left so that it was just Edward and me, but I couldn't remember when they left. All I could think of was the blood I was drinking at that moment. I had never tasted anything so sweet in my life. I had to agree with my love; mountain lions were delicious.

I had drained my fifth mountain lion, and I was finally full. I pushed the dead carcass away from me and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I made a little mess, but not much. I looked up to see Edward draining his own lion and I couldn't help the groan escape my throat. Watching Edward hunt was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. The way he let himself go and how he just went into the hunt, I wanted him. As soon as he moved his head away from the animal's neck, I lunged for him. As I tackled Edward to the ground, I slammed my lips against his. I could taste the blood of his own kill on his lips and it only made me groan louder. I couldn't see or smell anything but him, and he smelt amazing. I was aware he was trying to talk, but I didn't want him to talk. I just wanted him to touch me. I ripped open his shirt, sending the buttons flying everywhere.

"Mm," Edward moaned. "Bella…"

"Shut up," I hissed, cutting him off.

I quickly sat up and raked my nails down his chest. Edward let out a loud groan as I watched his skin crack underneath my nails and then heal itself automatically. I leaned down and ran my tongue over the trail I just made. His skin tasted amazing. Before I could move down any further, Edward grabbed my arms, sat up, and brought me back to his lips. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he tore my shirt and bra from my body. Edward kissed and sucked on my neck as I yanked on his hair. I don't remember how our pants came off, but the next thing I knew was Edward had grabbed my hips and pushed himself into me.

"Oh god!" I cried out as the pleasure took me over.

Our movements were frantic and faster than any human pace. We rolled around the ground, each of us trying to gain dominance and push harder than we ever had before. I squeezed my legs tighter around Edward's waist when he rolled himself on top, and I screamed out my orgasm. It was one of the best orgasms I had ever had. Everything felt heightened and everything helped the sensations come to life. I opened my eyes when I felt Edward lifting us up. My lips found their way to his as he slammed me against a tree. I bit Edward's lower lip while he pushed up into me with an amazing pace. The world around us fell apart and all that could be heard were our moans and the sounds of our bodies coming together. Not long after my first, I felt my insides start to flutter and I knew I was close.

"Ugh, Edward!" I cried out as my body started to explode with ecstasy.

Edward let out a loud moan and started to move faster. He let out one final grunt before he exploded inside of me. A huge smile came to my face as I came down from my high. It wasn't until a couple seconds later that I realized we were lying down. I looked around, confused, until I felt the tree beneath my back.

I started to laugh, causing Edward to look at me with a questionable look.

"When did we knock the tree down?" I asked in between laughs.

Edwards's eyes went wide as he looked around. He immediately started to laugh along with me.

"I have no idea!" he answered.

We both sat there laughing and just enjoying being in each other's arms.

"How did you do it?" I asked in a whisper.

"Do what, love?"

"Not hurt me," I answered. "I feel so strong. It must have been impossible not to hurt me."

Edward smiled and kissed my head. "Practice."

I smiled up at him and gave him another kiss. We stayed like that for a while, not talking or moving, just being with each other. It wasn't until we decided it was time to head back when we realized both of our clothes were torn to shreds. I looked down at myself. It was also the first time I realized I was naked. I couldn't believe it. When I was human, I would have been too embarrassed to lie there like that; I would have tried to cover up immediately. But now, as a vampire, my body seemed more beautiful, more perfect, and I didn't care if I had to walk around naked at all.

"Ergh, what are we going to do about clothes?" I asked as I tried to tame my wild sex hair.

Edward sat up and looked at our torn clothes. "Hmm, I guess you're right. Maybe if _someone_ didn't tear them to shreds we would have something to wear," Edward replied with a smirk.

"Hey! It's not my fault my hormones are all crazy!" I said with a little pout.

Edward chuckled and leaned towards me. "Do you hear me complaining?" he whispered with his lips almost touching mine.

Edward captured my mouth in his as I wrapped my arms around his neck. It was amazing how with one little kiss he had me ready for more. We fell back onto the ground just as a ringing sounded from somewhere around us.

"Ignore it," I mumbled against his lips when I realized it was his cell phone.

Edward moaned his response and cupped my face in his hands as he continued to kiss me.

"I'll come tear you two apart! I swear I will!" we heard from a distance, causing us both to groan in frustration.

Edward leaned his head on my shoulder and growled.

"Did you two want to walk back with no clothes on? I'm sure Charlie would _love_ that!" Alice exclaimed before a bag came flying towards us. Edward and I quickly untangled ourselves and grabbed our clothes to get dressed.

"How many times has she interrupted us now?" I asked as I handed Edward his clothes out of the bag.

"At least six"

"Try nine," Alice called from the distance.

I just shook my head and grabbed my clothes out of the bag. I growled when I saw what Alice picked out for me. Edward turned to look and see what was wrong and had to try hard to fight the smile on his face when he saw what I was holding.

"I'm going to kill you," I growled in the direction of my _best friend_.

I rolled my eyes when I heard her distinct giggle in the distance.

I put on the offense garment and turned just in time to see Alice walking towards us.

"I think it looks beautiful on you!" Alice squealed with a smile.

"Of course you would, it's a dress!"

I heard Edward chuckle, but he turned it into a cough when I threw him a glare.

"Oh, come on, Bella, it's not bad at all and you know it!" Alice argued.

I looked down at the dress and hated to admit that she was right. It was a light blue dress with white lace around the waist, collar, hem line, and a white bow in the corner. Alice started to clap and jump up and down. I rolled my eyes at her as we all headed back to the house.

"So what's the big deal? Why did you have to come get us?" I asked as we walked at human pace back towards the house.

"Our company will be here in a half an hour," Alice said casually.

I stopped walking and looked over at them. Edward was throwing Alice a glare and she was looking at him questioningly.

"What company?"

"You didn't tell her?" Alice asked Edward as she hit his arm.

"I kind of got distracted," he said through clenched teeth.

I was confused. Everyone we knew thought I was dead. What company could possibly be coming over that didn't know. I watched as Alice and Edward had a silent argument for a couple minutes before I interrupted them.

"Um, hello! Is somebody going to tell me what company we're having and why?"

Edward and Alice both looked over at me. Edward closed his eyes for a brief second before opening them again.

"Thanks, Alice," Edward mumbled, too low for any human to hear.

"I can hear you," I reminded him.

Edward looked over at me with wide eyes. I chuckled. Someone wasn't used to me being a vampire yet. He gave me a sheepish look before scratching the back of his neck.

"Um, well, love, the next couple days, we're all going to be pretty busy, and won't be around. So, we have a couple people coming over to help out," Edward explained.

I was confused. I knew the next couple days would be extremely busy with my mom coming into town and my… _funeral_… but who could they possibly have coming to help with all that? Then it hit me and my eyes went wide.

"You're bringing someone to _babysit_ us?" I cried out in anger.

"Not exactly," Edward mumbled.

Alice just stood there with her arms behind her back, rocking back and forth, and looking at everything but us. The anger in me was soaring. I did not need a babysitter.

"Then what is it, then? Because to me, it sounds like you're inviting someone to watch over me and my father while you and your family are tending to… stuff" I said through clenched teeth.

"Love, you have to remember. You two _are_ newborns. What if something happened like it did today? You don't want to hurt anyone do you?" Edward said softly as he walked over to me.

The feel of his hands on my arms started to soothe me. I knew most of my anger was coming from being a newborn, but I couldn't help being a little hurt that he would get a babysitter for me.

"I guess you're right," I mumbled, causing Edward to relax. "Who's the company, anyway?"

Edward went tense again as Alice tried to hide her smirk. I didn't like the way they were acting at all.

"Who?" I asked again.

Edward let out a deep breath and said, "Kate and Tanya Denali."

The anger that flowed through me was unlike anything I had ever felt. I saw red. I wanted to destroy something, but they would never let me. So, I did the next best thing. I turned my heel and ran. They followed after me, of course, but Alice was no match and though Edward was close to catching me, I still wasn't pushing myself as hard as I could go.

"Bella, wait!" Edward screamed, but I only pushed myself faster.

"Edward, let her go! She'll be fine!" Alice called from behind us, but Edward growled her off.

Edward tried calling for me one more time before I pushed myself as fast as I could. It was a full two minutes before I realized I had lost him. I slowed down and looked around. I had to be careful, I didn't want to cross the treaty line and get ourselves in trouble.

I came to a full stop forty two seconds later and just stood there. I was feeling all different types of emotions that I couldn't explain. Anger was a big one and for so many reasons. One, they had people come to _babysit_ my father and me, like we were two year olds.

_You two are newborns._

Shut up, stupid smart voice in my head. The second reason, _Tanya Denali_ was one of them, the same Tanya Denali that wanted Edward, and hadn't hid her true feelings at all. What the hell was I going to do? How could I even stay in the same house with her, let alone be alone with her while everyone is out. I let out a huff and punched a tree. A little over reactive, I know, but I was a newborn and couldn't control my emotions. I rolled my eyes and decided to head back towards the house. It was getting dark soon, which meant Edward was probably already haveing a fit.

I was surprised he wasn't here already, but Alice probably warned him. I couldn't be around him at that moment. I knew more or less that it wasn't _just_ him that invited them, and as much as I hated to admit it, inviting them was probably the smart thing to do.

"But why did it have to be _her_?" I asked quietly to myself as I started to run back towards the house.

It didn't take me long to find my own scent and trace it back to where Edward stopped following me. I followed his scent to find my way back to his house and felt guilty the entire time. I shouldn't have run from him like that. I should have talked to him about it. Explained how I felt. But I didn't. I groaned when I realized how much trouble I was probably in. About a mile away from the house was when I heard them.

"See, I _told_ you she was alright! Why don't you ever listen to me?" Alice cried out.

I had to laugh at her tone. She sounded like a little kid who felt like they were being ignored. I kept running towards the house when Edward appeared in front of me. I stopped running and we both just stared at each other, neither saying anything. I could tell he wanted to come to me but didn't.

"I shouldn't have run; I'm sorry," I said softly.

Edward nodded. "I was worried."

I didn't answer him; I just looked to the ground.

"Bella, I'm sorry you're not happy about this, but you have no reason to be jealous, you know I love you"

My eyes snapped up towards him. "Who the hell said I was jealous?"

Edward raised his eyebrow at me as if to question what I just said and I let out a huff. He walked over to me and put his arms around my waist, pulling me towards his body.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, and rolled my eyes. I had been saying that a lot lately since I had become a vampire.

Edward kissed my lips. "Don't worry about it. What you should be worry about is how incredibly sexy you look right now"

I pulled away from and looked at him like he was crazy.

"You're not serious? Have you seen me?" I asked while looking down at myself. "I've ripped my dress, my feet are disgusting and my hair is crazy from running and the wind blowing. Yeah, real-"

But I couldn't finish my sentence because Edward attacked my lips. I brought my arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer to me. We continued to kiss, never having to stop for breath. After a couple seconds, I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist. He moaned in pleasure and held me tighter.

"Ok, now this will count as ten times I've interrupted" Alice called out.

I growled towards her while Edward tried to put me down. I wrapped my legs tighter and shook my head.

Edward laughed and gave me a kiss. "They are here, love. We have to get back."

I let out a sigh and nodded, but when he tried to put me down again, I stopped him and moved onto his back.

"Just like old times," I whispered into his ear. He rubbed his thumb on my leg in response and I smirked. "Well, before I was faster than you."

Edward threw his head back and laughed loudly. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. We talked the whole way back, which only took up two minutes and thirteen seconds. When we walked up, I saw this strikingly beautiful strawberry blonde woman hugging Alice while a tall, pale blonde woman hugged Carlisle. I knew who Tanya was immediately. She was breathtakingly beautiful with her strawberry blonde hair, long legs, and slender waist. And I knew the outfit she had on was not picked out accidentally. She was wearing black opened toe high heels, a suede gray mini skirt and a black, lace, strapless, shirt that could have been easily mistaken for a bra. The other woman, though equally beautiful, was a little more subtle with her outfit. She wore a black tunic shirt with a pair of skinny jeans and black heels. I think I was going to like her.

As soon as Tanya caught Edward's scent, she spun around quickly and the smile on her face made me want to slap it right off.

"Eddie!" she cried out as she made her way towards us.

I started to get off Edward's back and he stopped me. He didn't want me to, but I didn't want to be draped all over his back in case I had I felt the need to kill this girl.

"Tanya, how are you?" Edward asked politely as Tanya wrapped her arms around his neck in a vice grip, while giving him a kiss on the cheek. When she pulled away, I saw the red lipstick mark she left on his cheek and I wanted to kill her.

"Tanya, I would like you meet my _fiancée_, Bella. Bella, this is Tanya Denali, our _cousin._"

I wanted to smirk at the frown on Tanya's face when Edward emphasized on the words fiancée and cousin . She looked towards me and plastered a big smile on her face.

"Bella! It's so nice to meet you!" she said in a sickeningly sweet voice as she gave me fake kisses on each cheek.

"You, too, Tanya."

"So," she started with a smile, "let me see the ring!"

I looked over at Edward, who shrugged as he wiped his cheek, before I showed her my left hand. She grabbed my hand and smiled.

"Wow that is… different. Pretty! Where did you get it, Eddie?"

Every time she called him Eddie I wanted to smack her head against the wall.

"It was my mother's," Edward replied, causing Tanya to snap her head up and look at him in complete shock.

"Elizabeth's?"

Edward put his arm around my waist. "Yes."

Tanya blinked before the smile returned to her face. "Well, congratulations!"

When she turned and walked away- swaying her hips mind you- Edward chuckled, shook his head and kissed my temple. I would make him tell me what she was thinking later.

We walked over to our family and the other woman introduced herself as Kate. I knew instantly that Kate and I would get along. She was so caring and sweet. We all made our way into the Cullen's house when Tanya started to speak.

"So, where's Charlie at? I'd like to meet every…" Tanya trailed off, never finishing her sentence.

I looked over to see what stopped her and saw her eyes glued to the stairs. I followed her gaze and saw my father standing on the stairway with the same awed look on his face. I continued to look back and forth between the two, wondering why they were staring at each other like that, until I heard Edward groan from behind me. I was about to ask him what was wrong but I had already figured it out.

My eyes went wide as I whispered, "Oh god."

* * *

The next three days of our lives were absolute torture. Edward and his family had barely been home due to taking care of arrangements for my _funeral_ and helping Renee. During that time, Kate and I had gotten very close, while Charlie and Tanya had gotten… I shuddered. I didn't want to think about that.

"We need to get out of here," I groaned as I covered my ears, though I knew that wouldn't help.

Kate laughed. "I think you're right. Want to go hunting?"

I nodded my head vigorously and stood up. I wasn't _that_ thirsty, but I would do anything to not hear my father and Tanya's love making anymore.

"Let me just go get changed. You go ahead. I'll meet you," I told her as I made my way towards the steps.

Kate looked a little skeptical and I rolled my eyes. "I'm not planning anything, and if I was, Alice would have called. You go; I'm kind of interested to see how my tracking skills are, anyway."

Kate gave me one final look before agreeing and heading out the door. I moved quickly up the stairs and scrunched my face when I passed Charlie's room. I moved as fast as I could and was changed and heading down the stairs in five seconds. But apparently, it wasn't fast enough because when I passed Charlie's room again, I heard Tanya moan, "Oh Charlie-baby."

If I could have thrown up, I would have then. That little sound was never going to leave my mind. I stepped out of the house and took a deep breath. I picked up Kate's scent and followed it. But when I got about a third of the way through the woods, her scent was split into three different directions. I smirked and looked around. She was challenging me. I went down the first path and found that it was a dead end.

"Damn," I mumbled and headed back to my starting point.

I found that I was actually having fun trying to track Kate. I was horrible at it, but I thought that with more practice, I could be a lot better. I would have to ask Edward to help me. I stopped dead in my tracks when Edward came into my mind. At that moment, Edward and the rest of his family were at my funeral.

Funeral.

I hated that word. I looked to the left of me. In that direction was the graveyard. My mother was there. I never got to say goodbye. In that second, I took off. It was a last minute decision. I prayed Alice didn't have enough time to call Kate and tell her.

I stood at the top of the hill and looked down. There were people everywhere, people I didn't even know, crying over my casket. Their scents hit my nose as the wind blew, causing the burning in my throat to return, but I didn't move. I watched and listened as the priest said words of prayer, but I couldn't take my eyes off my mother. She had a tight grip around Phil's left arm with her right hand while she held onto Edward's hand with her left. She cried into Phil's arm as the priest continued to speak. Edward sat there, stone still and face hard. The makeup Alice did was perfect. Edward looked like any normal human crying. His nose and cheeks were red and his sunglasses hid the fact that there were no actual tears coming from his eyes. Nobody questioned it. When a light wind blew from behind me, I knew I was caught. The entire Cullen family, with the exception of Alice and Edward, went stiff along with the whole wolf pack. They picked up my scent, but couldn't react. I watched as Edward's eyes moved to where I was.

"I'm fine," I assured him.

"You shouldn't be here, love," he whispered, too low for anyone else to hear.

"I had to come."

"I know," he answered.

I smiled. I forgot he would have known already.

"How long have you known?"

Edward hid his smirk. "Alice saw you decide just as we all got settled here. No time to leave."

I let out a slight chuckle and shook my head. So that last minute decision worked. I heard her footsteps long before I saw her. I knew she would be coming. I planned on it.

"Hello, Kate," I said with a smile.

"You tricked me, Bella," Kate stated as she walked up beside me.

"I'm sorry," I started, "I really am. That wasn't my intention when I told you to go first, truly. But I had to come. I had to see her one last time."

Kate placed a comforting hand on my arm. "I understand, sweetie. I do. But you're still a newborn. Their scents must be driving you crazy."

I swallowed back more venom as another hint of wind blew all of their scents towards me.

"It's not that bad," I lied.

Kate started to talk again, but I cut her off. "Can we just stay until it's over?"

Kate looked at me for a couple seconds before nodding her head and turning back towards the graveyard. My mother was worse than before. Her sobs were uncontrollable as she held onto Phil as tight as she could. Phil was also a mess, but he was putting a good strong front on for Renee. He would always take care of her; I wouldn't have to worry about that. She would always miss me, always love me, but her life was full, and satisfying. Renee could make it through this. I watched as the people walked by both Charlie and my casket to place flowers on top before Edward and Phil helped my mother towards them. When Renee reached my casket, she collapsed on top of it. I let out a whimper as Kate wrapped her arms around me.

"My baby. My beautiful, baby girl. I love you so much. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Renee cried as she kissed the casket. Phil lifted Renee up and started to move her away.

"I love you, too, Mom" I whispered, knowing she wouldn't be able to hear me.

"Bye, Bells," Phil whispered as he kissed his hand and touched it to the casket.

"Bye, Phil," I said back as venom stung my eyes.

Edward placed his rose on the casket and leaned down. "I love you, beautiful," he whispered.

I smiled and said, "I love you, more."

I saw the small smile Edward had before he kissed the casket lightly and walked back to his seat. Renee made her way over to Charlie's casket and leaned down.

"I never stopped loving you, Charlie. You were a great man and an amazing father. Take care of our baby girl," she whispered as she placed a kiss on the casket, before standing and walking back to her seat with Phil. She grabbed a hold of Edward's hand again and held on tight.

After a couple minutes, the funeral director walked to the front of the caskets and began to speak, "On behalf of Mr. and Mrs. Dwyer and the Cullen family, we would like to thank you for coming to say your last goodbyes today. The funeral is now over and if you would please follow my colleague, he will direct you on how to make your way out of the cemetery. Thank you again."

People started to clear out with the exception of the few that wanted to say goodbye to my mother and Edward. Angela walked up to Edward with Ben behind her and pulled him into a tight hug.

"If you ever need anything, Edward, please don't hesitate to ask," she said as she pulled away from him.

Edward nodded. "I won't. Thank you for everything, Angela. You're a great friend."

"I heard your family is moving back to Alaska?"

"Yeah," Edward started. "We move in two days."

Angela wiped her face and said, "Keep in touch, Edward. You have my email. Let me know how to move goes."

"I will, I promise"

Angela gave him a small smile before kissing him on the cheek and giving him another hug and walking away. Ben hugged Edward, as well, giving his apologies, before leaving.

"Come on, sweetie. You don't need to see this. Let's go hunt," Kate said softly as she rubbed my arm.

I nodded before turning around and following her back into the woods.

* * *

When I heard Edward's car pull into the driveway, I jumped right up. I met him at the front door and ran into his arms. Everything was immediately better in that moment.

"I'm sorry if you're mad at me," I mumbled against his chest.

Edward chuckled, then kissed my forehead. "I'm not mad, love. I was just worried. What if something would have happened?"

I shook my head and looked up at him. "But nothing did happen. I was fine," I lied.

Even now, the smell of the human scent that was coming off each of the Cullens was making the venom in my mouth water. Edward raised his eyebrow as he looked down at me.

"You know, you would think your lying skills would get better when you became a vampire," he teased.

I slapped his chest playfully as I pulled away and walked to the house. I wanted to ask him about my mother, but I couldn't. I said my goodbyes when I left the cemetery and if I knew how she was after that, I would just upset myself again. As we walked into the house, I couldn't help but smile. I had finally gotten everything I ever wanted. I would spend eternity with Edward, I would never grow old, never die, and he couldn't get rid of me. Edward gave me a dazzling smile as he loosened his tie and I suddenly had a deep feeling of guilt. I had everything I wanted, but Edward didn't. I knew at that moment what I wanted to do. But before I could open my mouth, a loud sound of breaking glass came from the kitchen, followed by a squeal and Alice running and throwing herself in my arms.

We had everything set and ready for the twenty first. We canceled the caterers since no one would be eating food and kept everything else. Alice saw that nobody in town would see any of the cars because, well, no one came back to Cullens' house. I heard the buzzing of everyone downstairs, and if it was possible, I was nervous. I didn't know why; I was about to get everything I ever wanted, but I still felt extremely nervous. I looked at myself in the mirror, and was still amazed to see the beautiful person standing before me. My hair had long curls in it with my veil placed perfectly on top. The dress was strapless with beads and sequins on the torso. There was a wrap around the waist with a flower on the side that came down to a slit in the sheer on the side. It was all just perfect.

I looked up as my father walked into the room and smiled. He looked so handsome in his tux.

"Ready to go, kiddo?"

I nodded to him, lifted my dress and made my way towards him.

"Oh!" Charlie exclaimed before we walked out of the bedroom. "I have something to give to you"

Charlie fumbled around in his pockets before pulling out two boxes. He handed me the first one and said, "It's your something blue. They were your Grandma Swan's. Last week, Alice had the jeweler replace the paste stones with sapphires."

Inside the box were two heavy silver hair combs. Dark blue sapphires were clustered into intricate floral shapes atop the teeth.

"Thanks, Dad," I said softly as Alice appeared to put the hair combs in my hair.

"There! That's your something blue, and your dress is new, so..." She flicked something at me. I held my hands out automatically, and the filmy garter landed in my palms.

"That's mine and I want it back," Alice told me with a smile before she turned and walked back out of the room.

"And here's your something old," Charlie said as he held out the second box.

When I opened it, my breath caught in my throat. It was a white gold heart locket with a gold flower on the front.

"It was your mother's. I gave it to her on our wedding day. She always said she wanted to give it to you on yours. She sent it to Alice when you guys started to plan the wedding again to get it cleaned," he spoke softly as I opened the locket.

Venom stung my eyes when I saw the two pictures inside. They were of my parents when they were babies.

"Will you help me put it on?"

Charlie smiled and moved to do just that. He removed the necklace Edward had given me for Christmas and placed it on the vanity table, before putting the locket around my neck. I played with the heart as he fastened the necklace. I couldn't help the sad look that was on my face.

"What's wrong?" Charlie asked.

I looked up at him and gave a sad smile. "I wish she was here."

Charlie nodded and pulled me in for a hug. "I do, too, kid."

"I'm really glad you're here, Dad. I didn't know how I was going to say goodbye to you," I mumbled, knowing he could hear me.

Charlie kissed my head and said, "Now we don't have to worry about that."

We stood there and held each other for a couple more seconds before we heard Alice from downstairs.

"Time to go, you two!"

Charlie and I both laughed as we pulled apart.

"Better get down there before that little girl freaks out," Charlie chuckled as we walked out of the bedroom and toward the stairs.

We hooked our arms together and made our way down the stairs.

"Don't let me fall, Dad," I whispered.

Charlie smiled and whispered back, "Is that even possible now?"

"You never know with me"

Charlie and I shared a smile and made our way to the living room. It was beautiful. Alice did a really great job, and the house was filled with company. But there was something off, something didn't… _smell _right. It was then I saw entire pack, with Sam holding a video camera, was there, sitting in the chairs. If I could cry, tears of joy would have been coming down my face. For them to come to something that was clearly very uncomfortable for them, was amazing, and I loved every single one of them. As Rosalie started to the music and Alice walked down the aisle, I motioned my head towards them for my father to see.

He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "They wanted to be here for you. So did Billy, but obviously, he couldn't make it, so Sam is videotaping it for him."

I nodded my answer and looked back towards them.

"We're up, Bells," Charlie whispered, and if my heart was beating, it would have stopped. I was still extremely nervous and had to let out a breath to calm myself. I didn't know vampires could feel like this. I actually felt like I was going to throw up.

I took one final deep breath and looked up. It was like the world disappeared when I did and I didn't see anyone else. All I saw was him and his beautiful face, and nothing else mattered.

It didn't matter that he hated me when we first met, or that he left me and was gone for seven months.

It didn't matter that I had put him through all that agony with my choice between him and Jacob or that Jacob had taken me and held me for two months.

And it didn't matter that for all those months after, I was an emotional wreck and couldn't admit what was wrong, because we loved each other.

And if we could survive all that, we could survive anything.

And that was just what we were going to do.


	23. Epilogue

**BPOV**

**Eighty Years Later**

I rolled my eyes as my _brother_ changed the radio station for the twelfth time. Apparently, he couldn't find the one he wanted to listen to.

"Music just has no hope anymore," my brother mumbled as he turned the radio station down.

I chuckled and shook my head. "Well, times are changing, Em. What do you expect?"

He shrugged his shoulders and turned his jeep into an empty parking space. The school parking lot was entirely empty due to the fact that school was already in session. We both got out of the car and I couldn't help the smile on my face when I saw the car next to us. I motioned towards it with my head, causing Emmett to jump back and forth on his feet.

"I can't wait to see her! I'm going to drag her into a utility closet as soon as I can!" Emmett exclaimed as we walked up the stairs towards the school.

"Emmett, you can't! You have to wait _at least_ a day before you guys start touching each other in public, you know this!" I said with a chuckle as I adjusted my book bag on my shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah. I know," Emmett grumbled under his breath.

"You don't think I miss him, too? You're not the only one who has been away from their better half for a month!"

Emmett put his arm around me and said, "Aw, Bella-Bear, don't worry! You'll see Broodward soon enough and you guys can have all kinds of welcome home sex!"

I rolled my eyes. My brother would never learn the meaning of discretion. But the thought of seeing my husband did perk up my mood. I wasn't lying when I said we hadn't seen each other in a month. The last time I saw my husband was the night of Angela's funeral. She actually died last month of old age. She lived to be ninety-eight years old and outlived everyone we knew, including Ben. Edward and I attended her funeral. We had to wear sunglasses and stay towards the back because, according to Alice, her children knew who we were from pictures Angela kept in photo albums. It was a lovely ceremony, though it was sad she was gone.

Edward and Angela kept in touch up until about ten years ago. Even though it had been twenty years since they had last seen each other, Angela wrote him an email once a month, religiously. Ben had asked her to marry him four years after high school and they had four kids. At the time, Edward was invited to the wedding, but came up with the excuse of medical school holding him back, though he sent a very generous wedding gift. As far as Angela knew, Edward had never gotten married and had stayed single. They spoke of me often and I was happy to hear she still had thought of me and missed me. Angela was a good person in and out. I had hoped her children and grandchildren turned out the same. And according to Edward, they had, and I would know first hand. We were now going to school with her grandchildren's children. He had met them when he first came to school and said they were nothing but nice.

He and the rest of our family always came to our new home first. Though this home wasn't exactly _new._ We had been here before; eighty years before to be exact. Forks was definitely not a strange place to me. Emmett and I made our way down the corridors and I couldn't help but smile. Sure, things had changed in the past eighty years, but Forks High was still the same. Fuzzy memories filled my brain of times that I hadn't thought about in years; a time when these halls seemed foreign to me, and I wasn't sure how I would make it through the next second, let alone the next day. I opened my shield to my memories, knowing that my husband would be able to see them and it would make him smile.

"Having flashbacks, little sis?" Emmett asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.

I smiled up at him. "Seems like just yesterday, doesn't it?"

Emmett gave me his adorable dimple filled smiled before opening the door to the school's office for me. The smell of the human blood hit us full force and we both had to take a deep breath before we made our way into the room. The older woman sitting at the desk was writing something down on a piece of paper and humming a tune. When I recognized the tune, I couldn't help but smile as I remembered my wedding.

"_Now it's time for the happy couple's first dance!"_

_I gave my father a kiss on the cheek before I walked over to the dance floor. Edward was standing there waiting for me already with his hands behind his back and a smile on his face. He looked absolutely lickable in his tux, and I couldn't wait to be alone with him. Edward held out his hand as I walked up to him._

"_May I have this dance, Mrs. Cullen?" _

_I took his hand and smiled. "Of course, Mr. Cullen."_

_Edward wrapped his left arm around my waist and his held my hand in his right as he pulled me against his body. When the music started, we started to move._

"_You're dancing," Edward teased with a smirk._

_I chuckled and shook my head. "And not tripping!" _

_Edward laughed before I wrapped my arm tighter around his shoulders as we listened to the lyrics of our wedding song._

Tale as old as time  
True as it can be  
Barely even friends  
Then somebody bends  
Unexpectedly

"_I still can't believe you're mine, forever," Edward whispered into my ear._

_I closed my eyes and whispered, "I still can't believe you want me forever."_

Just a little change  
Small, to say the least  
Both a little scared  
Neither one prepared  
Beauty and the Beast

_Edward kissed below my ear. "That'll never change. I love you. Always have, always will."_

Ever just the same  
Ever a surprise  
Ever as before  
Ever just as sure  
As the sun will rise

Tale as old as time  
Tune as old as song  
Bittersweet and strange  
Finding you can change  
Learning you were wrong

Certain as the sun  
Rising in the east  
Tale as old as time  
Song as old as rhyme  
Beauty and the beast.

_When the song was over, Edward cupped my face in his hands and gave me one of the sweetest kisses we had ever shared. People were cheering and clapping in the background, but we weren't paying attention. We were the only two people on earth in that second. When we parted, Edward rested his forehead on my own while rubbing my cheeks with his thumbs. _

"_You are my everything," he whispered to me before kissing me again._

"Hello," the woman said, interrupting my thoughts and causing my shield to slam back to me. "Can I help you?"

"Yes. Hi, I'm Emmett Swan and this is my little sister, Bella. We're here for our first day of school"

The woman smiled and said, "Of course! You're the new Chief of Police's children, right?"

Emmett gave the women his best smile and nodded as she blushed. I rolled my eyes. No women could resist any of the men in my life. I turned my head a fraction of an inch when I heard the other women in the office begin to whisper.

"I heard the Chief's wife is half his age. He must have some money," the one with red hair said.

"How do you know he has money?" The black haired woman whispered back.

I looked over at Emmett and rolled my eyes. Some things would never change in a small town.

"Why else would someone her age want someone his age?"

"Well, I heard the chief was one good looking man. Maybe that's why," the black haired woman challenged.

"If he's so good looking, why did the mother run out on them? He was probably having an affair with the younger one," the red head guessed.

"Those poor children, growing up with no mother and a step mother that is only a couple years older than you. It's a shame."

My jaw went tense when they mentioned my mother. It had been sixty years since I had last seen my mother. She passed away of a heart attack twenty years after my "death." I remembered the day like it was yesterday.

_Edward was showing me a picture of Angela, Ben and their kids when we caught their scents. I quickly extended my shield to hide their thoughts before we made our way towards the door. Edward gave me a thankful smile. When I had first learned my power was a shield, it had taken me ages to learn how to control it. But now that I had, I always shielded other people's thoughts for Edward so he could get some peace of mind. _

"_Charlie, Tanya, how are you?" Edward asked as he opened the door._

_Tanya gave him a smile and a small peck on the cheek before Charlie gave him a handshake. Tanya had completely changed after being with my father. She wasn't cocky, she wasn't bitchy, and most importantly, she wasn't after Edward anymore. _

"_Bella, sweetheart, how are you!" Tanya exclaimed before giving me air kisses on both cheeks. _

_She had also tried to fill the mother role for me. According to Edward, in the beginning, her thoughts were filled with concern that I wouldn't accept her and my father's relationship because of her past with my husband. Now, they were filled with wishes of me someday calling her mom._

_That wasn't going to happen._

_I wasn't trying to be rude, but I had a mother. There would be no way I would call her mom, which had reminded me, it had been awhile since I had last seen my mother. I would go out to Florida once every couple months to check in on her and to make sure she was doing ok. She and Phil were still together, but never had any other children. She had opened her own business and looked to be completely happy. Every night, before sleep, she would kiss my picture, tell me she loved me, then would roll over and go to sleep. When I first saw her do that, I sobbed for three hours straight. Not because I was sad, but because I was happy. Though her life was full, she never forgot me.I would have to go see her soon._

_I opened my shield and said, _"We should go see my mom this weekend"

_Edward closed the door behind my father and nodded. _

"_Good, what are you guys doing here?" I asked as I moved over and gave my dad a hug._

"_We need to talk, kiddo. Do you have a minute?"_

_I didn't like the tone in his voice. We all moved to the living room and Edward sat next to me while Tanya and my father sat on the other couch._

"_What's up, Dad?" _

_Charlie took an unneeded breath. "Bells, Alice called a little bit ago. It's your mother. She's passed away."_

I didn't really remember much after that, which was weird for a vampire. I was sure if I thought hard enough, I would've remembered, but to be honest I didn't want to. We flew to Florida that night. Renee died of a heart attack in her store that morning. The police report said that even if someone would have been there, there was nothing anyone could have done. The rest of my family came with us, too. I honestly didn't know what I would do without them. Edward sent a check to Phil, sending his condolences and apologizing for not being able to make the funeral. Phil understood and was all around surprised Edward had even contacted him, let alone gave a check for the funeral. My father and I went to Renee's grave the night of the funeral after all of the employees went home. We stayed there until dawn, when the Cullens finally showed up to say their goodbyes. When Edward and I had finally gone home, I sobbed for ten hours, and then was silent for forty eight. Edward was with me every step of the way.

The woman sitting behind the desk began to gather papers together as she spoke.

"Where did I put… Oh! Here they are! Emmett and Isabella Swan. Emmett you're a sophomore and Isabella you're a freshman, correct?"

I gritted my teeth and nodded. It didn't matter how many times we said Bella and I asked to be called Bella, they always called me Isabella.

"Damnit," Emmett mumbled under his breath too low for the woman to hear. I had to hide my giggle. I had forgotten that he and Jasper had taken a bet to see if they would call me that or not. Emmett thought if he said Bella, they would, too. Jasper disagreed.

"Here are your new schedules," she explained as she stood from her desk and walked around towards us. "I'll walk you both to your classes so you don't get lost, and if you have any trouble after class, just ask one of the students. They will help you."

I wanted to snort. Yeah, right. People generally stayed away from us and that was fine by me. Emmett and I followed her out of the office and down the corridor. She continued to talk about something having to do with school, but I was paying no mind. The halls of Forks High were almost exactly the same. Sure, there had been remolding done and new classrooms added, but I could still see the original foundation. When we passed the doors Emmett and I had walked in from, I looked outside. There was a kid on a motorcycle driving out of the parking lot. I smiled. Jacob didn't come into my mind often anymore, but when he did, it was only good memories. I remembered the times that were good, and I remembered my friend. I missed him, even after all of the years past. I made a note to try and go see his grave. We were meeting with the new wolf that night, anyway. I would bring it up. The new wolves consisted of Sam, Paul, Seth, Embry and all of the rest of the guys' grandchildren. Amazingly enough, Sam and all of them were still alive. Though old with age now, they were still around, due to the wolf inside of them and the lonely one or two nomads that would travel through Forks every once in awhile. It would be good to see those men. Billy Black died five years after we left Forks from complications due to his disability. We were grateful that Sam allowed my father and me to come and say goodbye.

_Charlie and I walked through the Blacks' house toward the back room. If I could cry, tears would be in my eyes from the memories that came to mind from being in that house. It had been six years since Jacob had been gone, and I could still smell a hint of his scent everywhere. Sam was explaining to Charlie Billy's condition before he opened the door._

"_It won't be much longer," Sam explained, and Charlie nodded._

"_Dad, why don't you go in first? I'll wait out here," I suggested._

_Charlie shook his head. "No, Bells. I need you in there with me, especially after last week…" Charlie trailed off, and looked down._

_He had a slip up the week before and killed a man. It was his second kill and he was still beating himself up over it. I gave him a little nod and we moved into the room. Billy did not look well. He was struggling to breath and his head was drenched in sweat. Charlie walked up to his friend and sat down in the chair beside the bed. When he grabbed his hand, Billy jumped and opened his eyes._

"_Charlie?" Billy asked, confused._

"_Hey there, Chief."_

_Billy gave a weak smile. "I thought I would never…" he stopped, and took a deep breath, "see you again."_

"_I had to come, you know that," Charlie responded._

_Billy looked over at me and gave another smile. "Bella," he whispered._

"_You're looking good, Billy," I told him._

"_I'm still…" He took another deep breath, "dancing."_

_We both chuckled before he and Charlie continued to talk. Billy fell asleep around nine o'clock that night and Sam came in to sit with us around eleven. Billy woke up around two in the morning calling out for Jacob._

"_Billy," Charlie started. "Jake's not here."_

"_My boy," Billy whispered. "Look at my boy, Charlie. Look how beautiful he is."_

_Charlie, Sam, and I all looked over to where Billy was pointing, even though we knew nothing was there. _

"_Billy?" Sam asked as he leaned up towards him._

"_Jacob, my boy," Billy whispered one final time before closing his eyes for the last time._

_Charlie and I both listened as his heart beat for the last time and venom filled my eyes. _

"_He's gone, Sam," Charlie whispered._

_Sam looked back and forth between Billy and Charlie before he let out a loud sob and grabbed Billy's hand, and started to cry. Emily rushed into the room just before you could hear the distinct sound of a wolf crying in the distance. _

We stayed and helped plan the funeral for Billy, but had to keep a low key because as far as anyone knew, Charlie and I were dead. It was in that week that we had found out what happened to Jacob. Apparently, the heat was too much for him to take and since Jacob was young and already a passionate person, the heat from become a werewolf was too much for him and it caused something to snap inside of him. I blamed myself for not being able to save him in time, though I never told anyone. Not even Edward.

"You two are actually very lucky," the woman said, taking me out of my thoughts. "We just had a family move here from Alaska about a month ago."

"Oh, really?" Emmett asked with a tone that said he was very interested.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled.

"Yes, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen and their children. He's the new doctor in our hospital. Two sets of twins. Um." She looked down at her chart. "Rosalie and Jasper Hale. They are sophomores like you, Emmett and Alice and Edward Cullen. They are freshmen, like you, Isabella."

I clenched my jaw and nodded my head.

"I'm sure they can help you out around here, seeing as they are brand new as well."

We walked up to a classroom door and I had to suppress my smile.

"Well, here we are, Bella. Oh! Actually, it looks like Edward Cullen is in your class, so you can introduce yourself!" The woman said with a smile as she opened the door to the classroom.

"Mr. Lutz, excuse me for the interrupting, but I have your new student, Isabella Swan," she said as she handed me my schedule.

"Yes, hello," Mr. Lutz said as the woman walked out of the room. "Welcome to Biology. You can have a seat right there. We're working on a lab today, so do your best to try and keep up."

I nodded and turned to walk towards my table. I sat down and gave a smile to my lab partner.

"Hello," he said in the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. "I'm Edward Cullen. You're Bella?"

Edward held out his hand for a handshake and the small smile on his face was gorgeous. I took his hand and shook it.

"Yes. It's nice to meet you, Edward."

Edward smiled and turned back towards the front of the class as Mr. Lutz began to explain the next step in the lab. About half way through the lecture, Edward brought his right hand over to my open notebook and quickly wrote something in the corner. He pushed my notebook back towards me and I bit my lip as I read the note.

_I love you, beautiful._

I leaned back in my chair and put my left hand down to my side. Seconds later, I felt fingers intertwine with my own. He squeezed my hand as I opened up my shield and told him…

_I love you, too, Edward._


End file.
